Working Together To Make Life Work

Barry and I have come upon a challenge. We are having a communication issue. After everything Barry endured since August, his response time on everything is a slower.

We butheads when trying to have a conversation and when he is driving. He has never liked being told what to do, but now…..WOW! He snaps a any suggestions and he doesn’t let me finish sentences. I speak slowly at times and other times, my brain doesn’t let the right words out. Leading us to an occasional argument.

We have worked a system out to keep our cool with each other. It all involves redisvovering the quality we both possess “patience”. If he us not letting get words out, I let him know or gently remind him to be patient when I am having difficulties.

Unless I feel like I need to say something to him about his response, I don’t and will bring the topic up later when it can be discussed calmly. As his body heals and all the medications are out of his system, his responses will get closer to normal.

Everyone responds to anesthesia differently and he has been under general anesthesia 3 times since August 2013 with his chest opened up four times. My radiation treatments ended the day he was admitted for the last surgery. We both have a bit of healing to do!

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15 thoughts on “Working Together To Make Life Work

  1. You two have had a rough road, for sure, Jill. And I agree about anesthesia. It’s very hard on the mind, as well as the body. My mother says it takes a year to get it out of the system. xoxo

  2. Sounds awful. Luckily, I hsve never dealt with shingles. I hope you feel better soon. We are here. Figuring things out together and living ever minute, Thank you for your kind words. You made my dsy!

  3. Looks like Barry has lost weight! I needed to read your post today. I am in my second week of Shingles on my face and in one eye (even though I’ve had the vaccine). I can eat now and see well enough to read enlarged print, but I will need my patience, too, to wait for the healing. I have black scabs all over the right side of my face and into my hair, and I have to depend on my daughter to take me anywhere (to doctors) get me what I need, etc. But I will be able to drive in a couple of weeks or so, But I didn’t have my chest opened or have radiation! You folks are tough!

  4. Patience is a good quality that I wish I possessed! When you share your life with someone you love things always work out, for us it was a bumpy ride at times at times as well, thankfully Tom had patience for the both of us – Remember making up is also so much fun!!! Blessings for both of you.

  5. It all sounds very familiar and I feel for you both. Anaesthetic does the most appalling things. I didn’t know until I broke my hip at the end of 2011 that there is a chance that the synapses of the brain can go doollally. The doctors are supposed to warn you but I’ve never been told in advance, not once. When I came too after the hip replacement, I couldn’t speak properly, I wrote gobbledygook and I couldn’t read properly – the symptoms were far worse than when I had my four TIAs in a row. When I buzzed for someone, I was told that there was nothing to worry about. “Nothing to worry about?!” I said. “My whole life depends on words and pictures!” It was a few days before I was told it would eventually right itself. It took a good three to four months. Patience is the keyword but it’s not always easy for either partner!

    • Sorry to experienced such an ordeal. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2009. My speech continues to improve, but I lose words constantly. I’ll try to say one thing and another comes out…..but I get by. I’m a nurse. I was forced into retirement after that surgery. My left side does not work like it used to. Giving up my 25+year career was tough. Barry slowly shows imprivements each week. I make sure he drinks plenty and eats healthy. He’ll be back to his grumpy old self soon! Thanks for your response!

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