Parents: Raising them

Currently my father continues to have spells of v-fib and passing out. For some reason, his implanted pacemaker/defibrillator does not fire properly. 

I received a call from my sister, that it has happened again and he is in an ambulance on the way back to the hospital. She did not know his status once in the ambulance, but was on the way to the Emergency Room. She told me to stay home and take care of myself, that she swears she will call as soon as she has news.

I had a chemotherapy treatment last friday and a hospital emergency room is the last place I need to be at the moment. I’m exhausted and my bones ache like crazy, so I’m going to kick my feet up and rest.

My mother appears to be having an issue with the amount of attention my dad is getting from the three of us. She has a doctor’s follow-up after cataract surgery scheduled tomorrow. I asked if it was ok to reschedule, so I could be there with Kristie to help sign him into hospice. Mom agreed and went to her part of the house to makeba call.

When I went to tell her it was rescheduled, she was on the phone complaining that we are ignoring her needs and not getting her where she needs to be. She was talking to one of her sisters.

This is totally untrue. My dad is not well and not expected to live. I just do not get this childish stuff.  I know she has an ilness affecting her thought processes, but it is not exactly the same.

I asked her to please verbalize if she has an issue with a schedule change. She says she will. What else do we do?

When it is our turn to be the parent

As many of you know, my mother lives with Barry and I. The task has gotten easier, but it makes it tough on the relationship between the three of us. Mom doesn’t want to take ownership of her illness and when Barry and I do things to assist her level of function; she accuses us of treating her like a child.

With her memory becoming an issue, she has become difficult to handle in public on certain days. I have to judge her mood before we go out of the house. We had an issue at Wal-Mart, when Barry and I were not getting to her shopping list fast enough. It was quite interesting to have your mother screaming in a public place, becsuse she did not want to forget the cat food.

At church, several Sundays ago, in the middle of Worship Service mom had a question pop in her head for the Pastor. Durng the middle of the sermon, she got up and headed for the pulpit. The Pastor motioned for someone to take her aside to see if they could help. I froze, when I saw what she was doing. I was unsure of what to do or if I should do anything. The Pastor saved the day.

At home, things are working better becauee we have a set routine. Mom is learning to use the whiteboard and makes a list daily of things she would like to accomplish. When we have downtime, I suggest a task for the day that will keep her busy. Mom is helping us do the cooking, she loves to cook and really loves making us eat right. Barry is enjoying having her around finally. If we can speed up her getting ready to go time, life will get even better. Her vurrent get ready speed is around three hours.

On a different note, my father was admitted to the hospital again yesterday. His health is failing fast. It breaks my heart to see him so weak. He has such a strong will and is losing it quickly. Please send a few prayers his way. We can use all we can get!