Ode to my Lost Hormones

A breast cancer diagnosis, brought questions flooding in,

After the process was explained, one tiny question remained,

scores of specialist could not answer, I was scared silly of what was to come.

 

They called me “Lucky”, to have the tumor caught so early,

The treatments that followed were easy to get through,

Thanks to my cousin, Cindy, for sharing her secrets of survival,

What could have been unbearable, became tolerable,

Thanks for the info cuz, it was much appreciated.

 

Once the lumpectomy was over and the chemo began,

I found myself awestruck of the millions that have gone before me!

all  of the fight, strength, love and passion that has gone before me,

I persevere to continue the fight!

 

Thank you, Ladies for the inspiration to keep going.

I am a survivor, I refused to let this bring me down.

My chemo was coming to an end and I knew radiation was the next step,

 

Little did I know my journey was just beginning.

My sweetheart became seriously ill and needed immediate surgery to survive,

The same night my father went home to be with the Lord. As Barry slept, I told him to be strong,

I knew he was a survivor, Several family members and our Pastor helped me through the hard parts.

 

Life started to calm and a routine began, while Barry was being cared for at the hospital,

I left daily for my radiation treatments and returned just before supper.

Our Jeep had to be on auto-pilot to get me, from the hospital and back daily.

 

Once the oncologist suggested we turn my ovaries off,

first thing I pictured was a little switch that needed to be turned on each ovary, she had other things

in mind, once I knew my options,

 

I took the injection until I could schedule the surgery needed,

I knew the minute I woke from surgery, that my Doctor had been successful.

My first official hot flash was in the recovery room! 

 

The Estrogen and other things produced by my ovaries are now gone, the surgeon had a wee surprise for me,

Soy can mimic Estrogen in the body, soooooooooo…..no over the counter remedies for me!

Now the brown spots, the “hot and cold” flashes and mood swings were just around the corner,

On March 28, 2014, I was thrown face first into MENOPAUSE!

 

Just a little update…..

Most of you are aware that my mother lives with us.We both love her to pieces, but she can be a handful. I will not deny when she makes biscuits, we both indulge. Mom has been wonderful helping around the house. There are certain things I love her assistance with and others I prefer to do myself. I want to be able to keep moving. When I slow down, I may not be able to speed up. I can barely keep up with Barry now.

Mom and I just hang back and watch Barry go and go and go……He has turned into the Energizer Bald Bunny with reading glasses. He is so cute.

We made a trip to Emory for a follow-up mammogram. Scheduled my thyroid scan for the first week in August. I will be radioactive for a bit, but hopefully they will get this taken care of and I can get a little rest. Barry and I both deserve it. Two other appointments on Monday.

To top our week off, I have pneumonia again. I have got to work on immune system. I can’t seem to shake feeling weak.

Pumphead

In August 2013, my sweet husband passed out cold in our living room. In the process of falling, he struck his head on our front door and appeared to be having a seizure. Later we discovered the seizure-like activity was due to hitting his head. He had a concussion. The Cat scan showed he had swelling in the right lobe of the cerebrum. While I made sure he was safe, I got mom to call 911. The ambulance arrived and swept my sweetheart of to the hospital. We spent the next five months in and out of the hospital. Six months later, he is home, healthy and running circles around me. God is good! Numerous doctors tried to tell me that Barry would not survive. They did not know my hubby. Barry and I are strong-willed people and we do not give up easily. I was not about to let him give up! Once we settled into a routine,  I started to notice subtle differences in my sweety. At first, it put it off to what he had been. I then realized his body was full of medications floating around his body. He needed to flush his body with healthy food and fluids. His thought processes were slower. He lost his inhibitions. For the first few weeks, it was like I had married a seventeen year old boy trying to discover the world in 24 hours. It was hard to keep up with him. He is closer to normal now. When I had a chance to speak with his cardiologist,  he educated me on “pumphead”. The link below will go into more detail. I will miss the comical antics, but thrilled I am to have my Barry back. We spend our time in the kitchen discovering low-sodium dishes to keep us healthy. Mom lives with us. She needs the low – sodium dishes more than we do. http://www.heartdisease.about.com/cs/bypasssurgery/a/pumphead.htm

Our Beloved Household Pet refuses to use the outdoor facilities in the Rain, Snow, Wind or drastic Temperature Change

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                                                              MAGGIE

Our sweet Maggie, refuses to go out the door for anything, when the weather outside is not at least 4oº and sunny. If you are unaware, Georgia was hit with a winter storm yesterday, around lunchtime, that caught everyone unprepared.

We shop on Saturday mornings and try to get everything we need for the week. Miss Maggie has made that impossible the last few weeks. With our freezing weather and the snow we received yesterday, we had to visit Mr. Kroger for the 4th time in 2 weeks.

You open the door, when she rings the bell, she will usually run outside to do her business and comes back in; after flushing a few birds out of the bushes. The past few weeks, when she feels the temperature hit her in the face with the door open, she backs up and looks for a peepee pad; or she walks on the porch, looks around and will knock you over to get back in the house. Once inside, she cocks her head to the side and stares at you; you’ll swear it is a “Are you crazy?” stare.

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Daily Prompt: Fifteen Minutes: Eye Contact

You have 15 minutes to address the whole world live (on television or radio — choose your format). What would you say?

I would tell anyone listening to look up and make eye contact with someone as they pass. Your fellow man or woman can’t be so scary you cannot be bothered to look them in the eye. You might find yourself saying hello and making a new friend. It could be someone in need of help and you are the only person around.

I have passed people and said hello; only to receive a lokk that appearded to say, “What is your problem?”, “Why are you speaking to me?”.

Don’t be like that, there is kindness in everyone. Let it shine. Show the world the true you. Let yourself shine!

We do not know what the next minute will bring. Do not waste it! Enjoy life and maybe influence someone else with a simple hello and some eye contact. Be positive! God loves us all, no matter what!

Are There Really Soul-Mates?

According to wikipedia, soul-mates exist.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soul mate

Webster’s Dictionary also has a definition.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soul-mates

Since these two, well-known sources help define a soul mate, they must exist.

I’d call myself a romantic.

I’d like to believe there is, that perfect someone out there for everyone. There are times I would call myself a sucker; call me old-fashioned; call me old school; call me whatever you like; just be sure that you know I have faith in love and hate to see so many people unhappy or in a bad relationship.

Your person is out there. If I can find mine, after a disastrous first marriage, you can find yours! It took seven years, but Barry and I found each other. We have spent only two nights apart since

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Headed out for a birthday celebration!

getting married, We plan to renew our vows on our tenth wedding anniversary! It only takes an ounce of faith. God has a plan for you! Give it time!

 

Watching the strong get weaker one day at a time!

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This is turning into the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My sweet hubby is the strongest person I know on this earth and watching him grow weaker and weaker is killing me. My heart breaks a little more everyday.

I go through the scenarios about this illness and they do not help. Yes he can improve. I am well awarebof that! I just do not enjoy watching him feel so bad.

He is so weak, he can’t walk to the bathroom without getting short of breath. His legs and abdomen are so swollen you can hardly recognize him. He says he doesn’t hurt, but is just uncomfortable.

I have no doubt he is saved and going to heaven. That is not what my tears are for. My tears come from watching what this disease is doing to his body. I know the Good Lord has a plan and is watching over my sweeatheart. He is by my side as I take care of Barry.

If this procedure is what Bear needs to make him better, I pray that his kidney levels have improved and they can schefule it as soon as possible. If not, please give Bear the strength to accept the fact that they have to go into his chest s third time. He is scared and I cannot bkame him. The doctors have repeatedly told him all about the risk. It scares him to hear about it. It scares me too.

I feel like Barry is taking me through a trip down memory lane. We spent the weekend in his hometown. We took a million pictures of special places where he spent his childhood.  Is he trying to tell me something?

Our September

●get Barry home and comfy
●finish chemo
●setup radiation
●organize and get all medications (mine, Barry’s ans mom’s), make sure they take them
●coordinate with visiting nurses for home IV antiobiotics
●Coordinate my appointments, with Barry’s and momma’s
●arrange assistance with appointments
●get hospital bed for Barry
●Take Barry’s vital signs three times daily
●Keep dressing on pic line intact
●Take care of dog and cat
●make sure Barry tries to eat
●AM Care for hubby
●PM Care for Barry
●Dressing assistance when needed
●make sure he gets enough rest
●haircut regularly
●pay bills
●cook breaskfast, lunch snd supper
● do laundry when mom can help

I just wanted to see a list. Might I add that the calendar had no free days available by the first Saturday in September. Our new Jeep is getting quite a workout. It actually runs better since the repairs were made after I filled our new diesel with unleaded. What a Bonehead move to make.Have a great day everyone!

That dreadful place called the hospital, It was so hard to leave him there

Sitting here, in no way can this place  be called fun. I am beginning to understand why people do not like hospitals. Yes, they are places where the sick or injured come to be healed. Hospitals are meant to be full of joy at the birth of a child,  or extremely sad watching a loved one in pain.

Painful things happen in hospitals. A lot of people do not how what or how their bodies work making things painful and scary. Some people experience trauma or have bad memories or cannot handle the emotions that hospitals bring out in you. Others just do not like pain.

The one I am sitting with loves being at home, in his recliner, his wife in her chair next to him and the dog sitting at his feet. Water glass next to him on the table, watching a crazy comedy on the television. He has his cute little quirky sense of humor. I never know what to expect out of his mouth. He even talks for the dog! It is so funny! She just turns her head side to side looking at him like he is nuts.

 

They want me to place him in a long-term care hospital. I do not feel that is where he needs to be, but I’m not a doctor. In my opinion, that will only make him worse. He needs some rehab. I can see a rehab center.

In the two days I have been with him, he has perked up.  Getting in and out of bed on his own (even when the staff did not want him too) He’s getting adventurous, I just hope he does not hurt himself. I love him so much it hurts. The thought of being without Barry, well, it kills me. We aren’t at the age that this kind of thing is expected. I just feel so very lost.