Echocardiogram Update



Jill was with me when I saw my Cardiologist “Dr. B” a couple of weeks ago, and he said the echo looked good and in his words “you are cured”, I praise God for that comment.  As God is the only reason I am alive today.  He also said that doctors get what they call a “save” maybe once every seven to ten years,  he considers me as one of those statistics. Well I was so tickled that all the surgical repairs have held up,  “Dr.B” also mentioned that there was a time that the Doctors did not know what to do.



Hopefully, no one has forgotten about us!

Life has slowed to a point that I might get a post or two in. Barry gets home from the hospital and settled down, then Mom had a problem that required a hospital.She is home and feeling better. She is actually with one of my sisters for a few days. We hope everyone had a wonderful July 4th. We made it a Pajama day and accomplished nothing at all. My health is stable. I wasn’t happy with my last MRI, but God has a plan…I take one day at a time….Oooooooops, I forgot our Maggie. Our treasured family pet has joined the rest of our happy home, with health issues. Our sweet baby has developed an arrhythmia and possibly a brain tumor. The first week Barry was home, Maggie went into Congestive Heart Failure, due to the irregular heartbeat.  She has since suffered three seizures and has something making her right cheek protrude. It looks so bad, but she does not appear to be in pain…..Thank Goodness……..

One day at a time, that is the slogan in our home!

More tomorrow. My hands are getting tired. We need to get back in a routine of typing. My kitchen is calling….Have a great weekend all! God Bless!



True Love and Commitment

Is true love, commitment, and faith a thing of the past?  Does anyone today know the meaning of these simple words? I’m not sure they do! There are many definitions available for the words listed above. It is up to you to decide which one best suits your needs. Of course, my opinion is what it is, mine3.

I guess it could be in God’s plan that certain people remain alone;

but I am a true believer! You have to want someone to find them and be friendly with the words compromise, faith and trust! For a very long time, I ran when22 those words came into a conversation. After my first husband, words like those, brought the scaredy cat out in me.


As I sit at my husband’s bedside; not knowing what the next minute will bring; I feel sad for so many people. Today’s generation of kids, will never know or understand the feeling of loving someone so much you are willing to sit by their bedside hour after hour, just to be near them.  To know they are safe for the moment and realize your smile will be the first thing they see when they open their eyes. The smile that graces their lips, at that moment, makes it all worthwhile.

Every time I help him stand or gain his balance, brings us closer together. In 2009, Barry was there for me. Telling me the same things about recovery and helping with anything and everything I needed. Sitting at my bedside, unsure of the future. He could have walked away and he did not. He stuck by my side because he loves me. Experiences we have shared, have only brought us closer together.

This definitely was not part of our retirement plan, but we are making the most out of what time God has blessed us with. Presently, we maybe be part couch potato, but we have plans.

Accommodation is a big part of our plans. The health issues we are dealing with, require us to make changes to our original plans. Just by chance, my handsome hubby is handling change better. A trip to a beautiful, sandy beach needs to be researched for handicapped accessibility. As we make travel plans, we learn something new with every call.

We are back, at least for the moment!

In our earlier post, we stated we’d try to get a post in a week. Maybe more. According to how our day goes! Between radiation treatments, Barry’s doctors appointments and our energy levels; we are lucky to get anything posted. Have patience. I have taken pictures and written posts while sitting around the hospital. A lot of interesting things go on in local hospitals! Just wait……

Our August

  • My dad was on Hospice Care and not doing well. He had a nasty cold and with me on chemotherapy, I could not go see him. My immune system was too low.
  • The Eighth of August was the start of my nightmare month. While attempting to hook the computer to the television, Barry past out cold, hit his head on the front door and appeared to have a seizure.  I could not get 911 fast enough. He was admitted from the ER with an arrhythmia.
  • Two mornings later, I received a call from Barry letting me know they had moved him to ICU during the night and were now planning to transfer him to another hospital.  No hospital employee ever contacted me.
  • Once at the other hospital, he was admitted to their Cardiac Care Unit for close observation.
  • Within  2 days. he was having a pacemaker put in.
  • At my chemo treatment, it was discovered that I had a blood clot in axillary vein under my right arm. When I went in for my injection after chemo, the doctor felt I needed to go to the ER for evaluation. I was short of breath and had chest pain. At least I got to go to the ER at the hospital Barry was in. I was closer to him, although I couldn’t see him before or immediately after the pacemaker surgery. Our Pastor was the perfect substitute. He is such a gracious man.
  •  As it turned out, I had pneumonia, thank goodness the blood clot had not moved to my lungs.They wanted to admit me, but I wanted to be with Barry.
  • A fever, 103, kept me home for a few days
  • He was in bad shape and needed immediate heart surgery
  • I could not get there fast enough. I spent the night before with him.
  • I found out my dad passed away three hours before Barry’s surgery.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts.
  • I was driven home, after we saw Barry was stable, by my pastor that night. My fever had popped it’s ugly head up again.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts. It stayed with me for the next week.
  • Someone from the church, Jason W.  and our nephew, Derrek checked on Barry for me while I was out of commission. I was actually chewing on the front door wanting to get to the hospital.
  • Once my fever got out the door, I spent the next 4 days at the hospital and ended up being able to take my sweetheart home with me. 20 days after being admitted. I found out the surgery they did was a mercy surgery. Barry was close to death and almost died during the surgery.
  • I spent the weekend attending the funeral for my dad.
  • On the way home from the hospital, We stopped for gas. We have a diesel Jeep. The station we stopped at was making renovations and still had a diesel sticker on a now unleaded pump. Needless to say, I filled the Jeep with unleaded gas. We were stranded for 4 hours until a wrecker arrived. We arrived home at 11pm.

Is that enough to deal with or do you want more? This isn’t all. My poor pup was home taking care of mom and the house.

We would like to thank everyone that helped make it through this bad, bad month! We love you all!

Through the Grace of our Heavenly Father, we are both alive and kicking. Maybe a little grayer and a I know a lot tired. We are here! Thank you, Dear Lord!

I’m going on a blogation

For those faithful followers, please don’t give up on me. My life needs my full attention for the time being. Barry is recovering well,  physically and mentally,  but his recovery is my number one priority at the moment. I will do my best to keep at least one post a week going. Have a great fall. Hope to be writing faithfully again soon!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! God bless you all! Please email me anytime at

I love email.

Thanks! Jill B.

I want to write, but I am at a loss of words!

God doesn’t give you things you can’t handle, the things He gives you make you stronger. I can handle a lot, but just not sure how much more I can take.

When does your cracking point kick in? Do we have a cracking point or are we made to take and take and take…more more…How do you judge when enough is enough?

Is it that when God sees you  overwhelmed, he releases the more more and gives you a break?  I am not going to lie, I could use a huge break, but I am not sure my sweet husband can handle a break. At least over the next few weeks. We have to get the house ready for him to come home.

For the next six weeks, he will be on IV antibiotics and then oral antibiotics the rest of his life. A physical therapist will work on his strength at home, but I am still terrified. His lungs are filling up with fluid again, even sleeping with a bi-pap machine on. He is off oxygen all together, but I’m scared.I want to be able to care for him properly at home.

I was the one that couldn’t tell he was sick. He started showing signs of not feeling well, but refused to admit something was wrong and would not go to the doctor. I feel guilty that I didn’t push, now his cardiologist can’t give me a good answer about how much time he has. I can tell he is stressing over it, but he won’t talk to me. I have him scheduled with his psychiatrist at the first of the month. Surely home will be our new location by then.

I ask that everyone help me pray for grace, strength and mercy. Maybe with enough Faith added to the list, Barry and I will survive. Forgive my ramblings today, I am still am emotional disaster.

That dreadful place called the hospital, It was so hard to leave him there

Sitting here, in no way can this place  be called fun. I am beginning to understand why people do not like hospitals. Yes, they are places where the sick or injured come to be healed. Hospitals are meant to be full of joy at the birth of a child,  or extremely sad watching a loved one in pain.

Painful things happen in hospitals. A lot of people do not how what or how their bodies work making things painful and scary. Some people experience trauma or have bad memories or cannot handle the emotions that hospitals bring out in you. Others just do not like pain.

The one I am sitting with loves being at home, in his recliner, his wife in her chair next to him and the dog sitting at his feet. Water glass next to him on the table, watching a crazy comedy on the television. He has his cute little quirky sense of humor. I never know what to expect out of his mouth. He even talks for the dog! It is so funny! She just turns her head side to side looking at him like he is nuts.


They want me to place him in a long-term care hospital. I do not feel that is where he needs to be, but I’m not a doctor. In my opinion, that will only make him worse. He needs some rehab. I can see a rehab center.

In the two days I have been with him, he has perked up.  Getting in and out of bed on his own (even when the staff did not want him too) He’s getting adventurous, I just hope he does not hurt himself. I love him so much it hurts. The thought of being without Barry, well, it kills me. We aren’t at the age that this kind of thing is expected. I just feel so very lost.