A Night I Wish Would Just Go Away| Another

After Barry’s stroke in 2011, I was praying that similiar episodes would be at least ten to fifteen plus years down the road. But as we all know, it is not our choice.
God’s plan guides the flow of our lives. We have knowledge of the plan’s existence,  but we have no choice in the details or are we given choices of how our plan plays out. God knows. Only he has knowledge of our life plans.

Since 2010, Barry had an aortic valve replacement; a large territory, massive MCA; and now last night, a seizure has been added to the list. The etiology is currently unknown. Other than having every test in the book today, they can’t seem to figure it out. He has swelling on the side of the old stroke, but no other results.

Last night he was connecting the computer to the television, so that we could watch the live stream of our Wednesday night church service. We chose not to go last night because I had run a fever most of the day. He was standing at the computer, near the television when I realized he was falling backwards. I called out to him several times without a response.

I started calling for my mom to help. She called 911 to get an ambulance. He hit the front door, with the back of his head, and started shaking from head to toe.  He was kicking his legs and flinging his arms. About five minutes into the seizure, he came out of it and started to talk. He didn’t know what had happened and wanted to know why he was in the floor.

When I wa able to check him out, he has a lump on the back, left side of his head about the size of a grapefruit. It is still swollen today, but getting tender. He is having a little pain in his left shin. They said they were going to do an ultrasound to make sure he isn’t forming a clot. He started getting back to normal, but I made him lie still until the ambulance arrived.

They checked him out, loaded him up and headed to the hospital. We’ve been here since nine o’clock last night. He rested well, I just want info on the problem! Wish us luck! An Associate Pastor came out from church. We had a nice visit. He has had a few calls from other church members.The Good Lord is with us, but please keep us in your prayers! Thanks to all of you for your continued support and kindness!

Jill B.

Daily Prompt: Never Again

Have you ever gone to a new place or tried a new experience and thought to yourself, “I’m never doing that again!” Tell us about it.

Barry, my adorable husband, wanted to share a place from his past with me. Barry was a Boy Scout Troup leader for years. While we were in the area of the Boy Scout Camp, we decided to ride up the mountain to see the camping area.

Neither of us thought about the mechanical condition of the truck, when we decided to tackle a mountain. Straight up the side of the mountain to get to the campsite. Not only was the road dirt, but it had been raining all week long.

As we started up the mountain, the truck started rocking and we realized the road was incredibly bumpy. Barry says, “I guess we need to change the shocks.”

By the time we reached the campsite, my body shook by itself and my teeth chattered without any help from the temparature in the air.

The campsite was beautiful, but that was the first and only time I eill ever see it. If a helicopter dropped me at the top of the mountain, I might consider a second trip. Until that day arrives, I’ll treasure my memories of our crazy ride up the side of a moutain.

Writing Through Cancer | For the Week of August 4, 2013: Can It Get Any Worse? Part 2

Part 2

My strength comes from the Lord, my family, and my handsome husband Barry. I draw a bit of strength from each of these people. Together, day by day, problem after problem, we grow stronger as a group. The easiest way to deal with issues is one at a time, one day at a time.”Hope springs eternal”, from Alexander PopeAn Essay on Man. That quote says it all. Keep hope alive.

Barry and I are adapting well to dealing with our illnesses. We had to get re-acquainted with each, but everything has worked out. He had to retire.  The stroke left him unable to handle working full-time. Barry  made adjustments around to house to aid me in normal daily function. He helped Libor and Jonny build a porch and ramp off the front of dad’s home. Worked beautifully.

There is no course reversal for my illness. There is only management and learning to cope. You keep up with your yearly appointments, take your medications as prescribed, eat healthy, and exercise. Cowden’s Syndrome is a rare disorder about a mutated gene in my DNA. To learn more, follow the link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowden_syndrome is related toLDD: which is just a symptom of Cowden Syndrome. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lhermitte%E2%80%93Duclos_disease

No one looks forward to losing a loved one. I for one, can definitely say, I am not ready to lose my dad, Barry lost his father at a younger age, so he is helping me deal with the emotions, while I take care of my health. My sister’s are in the boat with me. We’d like to keep mom and dad around forever. But that is not in God‘s Plan. Only he knows when it is our time to be with him. So, One day at a time. Slow as we go, enjoy every minute we have.

 

The daily prompts I write from each week come from the following blog by Sharon Bray:

http://writingthroughcancer.com/

Follow the link to her blog. She is incredible! Thank you, Sharon…..Jill Baynes

Writing Through Cancer | For the Week of August 4, 2013: Can It Get Any Worse?

Can it get any worse?  Maybe so, but then again, maybe not.  Hope keeps us moving ahead, one step at a time.  Think of a times you were dealt bad news, your own or someone else’s?   How did you first react?  How did you get through a difficult period in your life?   What helped?  How did you find the strength—even hope—to cope and begin to heal?  How did you find a way to reverse the course and bit by bit,  make your life better?

When life decided I needed to make lemonade, someone had a truck load of lemons delivered and dumped them by garage door. I guess for easy access from the kitchen. God knows I have trouble walking, I guess he was just trying to help out.

Hope keeps you going, but the Lord above is raining that hope down on our situation. We need a good saturation of hope. Through our bible studies and attending church regularly, I think we are finally relaxing as issues occur and giving things to God.

Dealing with my diagnosis has becomes easier daily. I’m adapting the attitude. when

I am working on handing all my issues over to the Good Lord above. Currently Barry and I need all the help we can get. It seems like everyday day gets a little tougher.

If you follow our blog, you know our history, but what you do not know is that my mother lives with us. She has her separate living space, but has no boundaries. Mom is newly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and the beginning stages of Lewy Body Dementia. If interested. to find out more about Lewy Body Dementia, follow the following link, http://www.lbda.org/

It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Leaving mom at a hospital to treat mental health issues. That’s my mommy! I’m supposed to take care of her. I cried the entire day we took her over to the hospital.

On top of managing chemotherapy for breast cancer, managing my mom’s care, making sure Barry is OK and assisting my sister when I can with my dad; Barry and I do what we can to help out at church. We are slowly working into volunteering more often, as my energy level rises. We are truly enjoying it.

My dad has been given an undetermined amount of time to live. He is suffering from  heart, kidney and liver failure. He has moved into my younger sister’s extra room and monitored by hospice. If anyone needs help with anything, please let me know. Barry and I will see what we can do.

When we first found out about dad, it was the day I found out I have breast cancer. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Dealing with the two is a t of emotion to handle at once.

Talking with my sister’s and my blog has helped me pull through this mess. We are taking one day at a time, one problem at a time. We are all hoping daddy will surprise us all, and turn things around. Hope keeps us going, but knowing his salvation will  bring peace to each of us.

On chemotherapy, I have not been able to aid my sisters as much as I would like to with dad.  The brunt of his care has fallen on Sandy and Kristie. They both know I would be right there with them if I could, dad knows to. My daddy knows I love him. Barry lost his father at a young age. He is my rock, my strength as usual.

I’ll finish this up tomorrow. I’m pooped. Sweet dreams. Mom has gained a little weight. We need to take her dress shopping tomorrow. Could be interesting.

The daily prompts I write from each week come from the following blog by Sharon Bray:

http://writingthroughcancer.com/

Follow the link to her blog. She is incredible! Thank you, Sharon…..Jill Baynes

 

Daily Prompt| Origin Story

I have always kept a journal. Summarizing the day always seemed to make me feel better and helped get any feelings out that I usually would let build inside myself until I got angry.

I gave the journals up with my first marriage. I missed the writing, but I was focused on being a new wife,  no time to write.

Barry and I started the blog after we both dealt with serious illnesses.  Barry suffered a Massive Right MCA Stroke in 2011 and I had brain surgery in 2009 to remove a brain tumor. The tumor was benign, but it left me with a few after effects. The tumor he was unable to remove, started pressing into my cranial nerves causing twitches, voice trouble and neck problems.

The tumor ended up being a side effect to a genetic disorder that can cause all sorts of health issues. Barry has been released from his neurologist care, but just needs to call if any issues pop up. My neurosurgeon has released for the next five years. As long as I have no issues, I only have to see his funny face every five years, I love it!

The blog was originally the idea of our Neurological Counselor. She felt that if we wrote our feelings down, we could manage any issues better. It has truly helped. Barry and I communicate better, we aren’t cranky with each other, and our relationship has improved. This helps us transition through issues as they come up.

We continue to blog today, because it is helping to retrain our brains and keep our writing skills as sharp as we can. We work on the daily prompts together. Keeps the brain sharp. We enjoy writing together. We pass ideas around until we come up with a good response to the daily prompt. I do the weekend post. Barry does two post a week and I do the other two days. Most of the time, we work on all the post together. It has become an important part of our day!

Daily Prompt: Pat on the Back

Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us SUCCESS.

Our nephew, Jonathan, has overcome tons of odds to get where he is today. He has trouble with attention at times and has faught tooth and nail to keep his schoolwork up. He can be a bit lazy, but has made the grade every year and becomes more focused daily.

He loves the outdoors and working outside. His favorite pasttime is torturing his little brother. He has matured so much in the past year. He is turning into quite a nice young man.

He is so handsome at fifteen years old. The good thing is, he hasn’t discovered girls yet. I cannot believe they aren’t beating the door down. Hopefully he will not notice girls until he is in college.

He shows me such respect and is the only person around, other than Barry that doesn’t treat me like I’m a different person since the brain surgery. I’m still Aunt Jill to him. That rewards him the greatest respect from me. To have him show me that kind of respect at his age amazes me.

I cannot believe he is such a sweetheart. I beam with pride as I watch him grow into such a good young man. I’d love to think I might have had a small influence on him. It is an honor to call him my nephew. Who knows?

Daily Prompt: Life After Blogs

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

If I did not have a computer to do my blog and everything else we do online, the word old school comes to mind. I remember diaries, writing letters, land line phones, and actually talking to one another.

Kids today may not understand several of these things, but the human brain is an amazing organ. It can help you learn new things. They would learn to cope quickly.

My life without a computer just takes me back in time to pre-technology. I’d feel as if I were in high school again. The only negative I see in the picture, is paying long-distance fees for the telephone. Otherwise, I’m good!

Writing through cancer: For the Week of July 28, 2013: What Did You Notice?

I was unable to walk today, I’m not feeling my best, so I stayed close to home. We went to church this morning, but unable to attend tonight. I tell Barry to go without me, but he doesn’t like me home alone. I gave up and quit arguing.

Yesterday,  Barry and I walked the yard and updated our garden journal. I’ll use our stroll around the yard for this post. We started at the front porrch. We have a few Chinese Fringe Flowers that need pruning and a few new spouts have popped up, that need transplanting. A few weeds that need to be handled,  but nothing I cannot do.

My minature butterfly bush has come back out and is almost three feet tall already. I need to work on the decorative well pump by the porch. My butterfly garden is suffering from inattention. The hosta’s have come up beautifully and I have a few that need transplanting this fall. It may take us that long to get the garden back to glory to make room for them. A Sweet Gum Tree has taken root near the water spicket. That needs to go!

On the hill to the right of the house, we have planted two red maples and attempted to handle a bad wash area with monkey grass and lillies. They are filling in nicely. Might take a year or two for it to fill in.
To the left of the new trees, we planted a few Chinese Fringe Flower Shrubs to act as a barrier near the guidewire for the telephone pole. Looking good near the road.

At the drive, I have a combo of old-fashioned lillies, Stella D’odro lillies and knockout roses. We have tons of room to add to this area, I just need to figure out what to add. We recently moved the mailbox to the otherside of the drive. It needs sprucing up.

Down the rightside of the drive, is considered mom’s territory.  We have a couple of things there, we planted prior to mom’s arrival. There are three heavenly Gardenia Shrubs well-established. One blueberry bush is closeby for the local critters to enjoy.

Behind those a Pin Oak is coming in nicely. It is large enough to sit a chair under to enjoy a little shade.  The rest on that side is is mom’s territory. I need to feed her a friendly reminder that she needs to do some weeding.

Under our bedroom window, we discovered a few surprises. Four O’clocks planted a few years ago have come back out and a lantana has popped up thanks to some sweet bird in the yard. It will transplant nicely when the time comes. The Hosta’s have come back out. They are huge and need a new home.

Beside the garage door the Smilix vine and lantana are gorgeous. The ramp and porch are around four feet tall. The lantana has out grown the porch already. The back of the house is more natural. We have two Corkscrew Willow Trees, a beauty berry bush, and one lone Pampas Grass. We need to do more in the back. I’d like to get a few hardscaping projects done. Barry and I will work slowly on those.

There is evidence of unknown wildlife either living or traveling through the yard. We watched a bunny run around for a few minutes. By the driveway, we saw a couple of lizards and salamanders playing aound on the porch. Barry got a wildlife camera for a retirement. We have been attempting to get pictures of what happens in the yard at night. No success yet!

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                                 Gardenias

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                                  Hostas

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                                       Gerber Daisy

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                                   Maggie and Mom’s Iris’s

Daily Prompt: Back to School | Recess

If you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?

Going back to school to master anything scares the pants off me, but if I had a choice and the time, it would be any and all forms of recess. I was always the shy kid picked last for teams (does wonders for your self-esteem), because I sucked. When I tried out for cheerleading, I got into a split (my first ever) and couldn’t get up. I had to help to get up. I was the laughing stock of the entire school for weeks.

I could not run fast to save my life. A sit-up in those days would kill you. They tried to make you do male push-ups, but that did not last long. No one could do one! Then there was the totally embarassing, “We must, we must, we must improve our bust, the bigger the better, the wider they spread, the boys depend on us!” How utterly embarassing is that in front of a gym full of kids?

Masteringing recess would boost my enthusiasm for exercise later life. If I had learned to enjoy excercise at an earlier age, maybe I wouldn’t avoid it like the plague today. Above I am talking about middle school, once in high school, we were given more choices. Band, chorus, drama, horticulture, and tennis along with a few others. I chose chorus and exercised my vocal chords.

My homeroom teacher in 9th grade was a coach, the JV girls basketball coach. He saw me walk in his classroom and started the recruiting. I’m a wee-bit tall. I had no idea how to play, much less whether I could dribble or not. He didn’t care, he was dertermined to teach me. I played one game, got my picture in the annual and quit. I sucked at basketball too! But my dad was proud because I tried.

If I was just a little more attentive, maybe I would have a greater interest in being fit today. My lazy days of middle school sent me into fearful choices in high school and I has been left has left out of shape st 47. It is truly tough to whip an old body into shape when it hasn’t been exercising all along.

My mother’s appetite

Today, we arrived at my sister’s home to sit with pop while Kristie took Little Man to an appointment. The minute mom walked in the house, she had a plate of what Kristie was cooking for supper and had made herself comfy at the dining room table. It was getting late, so they rushed off to the apointment.

The minute they walked back in the house, mom sat her drink down next to her bag of candy. She headed straight for the kitchen again. She returned with a bowl of bean soup and cornbread. After that, she returned with a slice of cornbread. She said she wasn’t full yet, so she made a ham sandwich for the road. She finished the sandwich before she left and went after the cornbread again. My sister asked me to get her out of there, so she didn’t have to bake more bread.

All of this eating took place in about 10 minutes. I took her bowl away and said it is time to go mom. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.