Ode to my Lost Hormones

A breast cancer diagnosis, brought questions flooding in,

After the process was explained, one tiny question remained,

scores of specialist could not answer, I was scared silly of what was to come.

 

They called me “Lucky”, to have the tumor caught so early,

The treatments that followed were easy to get through,

Thanks to my cousin, Cindy, for sharing her secrets of survival,

What could have been unbearable, became tolerable,

Thanks for the info cuz, it was much appreciated.

 

Once the lumpectomy was over and the chemo began,

I found myself awestruck of the millions that have gone before me!

all  of the fight, strength, love and passion that has gone before me,

I persevere to continue the fight!

 

Thank you, Ladies for the inspiration to keep going.

I am a survivor, I refused to let this bring me down.

My chemo was coming to an end and I knew radiation was the next step,

 

Little did I know my journey was just beginning.

My sweetheart became seriously ill and needed immediate surgery to survive,

The same night my father went home to be with the Lord. As Barry slept, I told him to be strong,

I knew he was a survivor, Several family members and our Pastor helped me through the hard parts.

 

Life started to calm and a routine began, while Barry was being cared for at the hospital,

I left daily for my radiation treatments and returned just before supper.

Our Jeep had to be on auto-pilot to get me, from the hospital and back daily.

 

Once the oncologist suggested we turn my ovaries off,

first thing I pictured was a little switch that needed to be turned on each ovary, she had other things

in mind, once I knew my options,

 

I took the injection until I could schedule the surgery needed,

I knew the minute I woke from surgery, that my Doctor had been successful.

My first official hot flash was in the recovery room! 

 

The Estrogen and other things produced by my ovaries are now gone, the surgeon had a wee surprise for me,

Soy can mimic Estrogen in the body, soooooooooo…..no over the counter remedies for me!

Now the brown spots, the “hot and cold” flashes and mood swings were just around the corner,

On March 28, 2014, I was thrown face first into MENOPAUSE!

 

Working Together To Make Life Work

Barry and I have come upon a challenge. We are having a communication issue. After everything Barry endured since August, his response time on everything is a slower.

We butheads when trying to have a conversation and when he is driving. He has never liked being told what to do, but now…..WOW! He snaps a any suggestions and he doesn’t let me finish sentences. I speak slowly at times and other times, my brain doesn’t let the right words out. Leading us to an occasional argument.

We have worked a system out to keep our cool with each other. It all involves redisvovering the quality we both possess “patience”. If he us not letting get words out, I let him know or gently remind him to be patient when I am having difficulties.

Unless I feel like I need to say something to him about his response, I don’t and will bring the topic up later when it can be discussed calmly. As his body heals and all the medications are out of his system, his responses will get closer to normal.

Everyone responds to anesthesia differently and he has been under general anesthesia 3 times since August 2013 with his chest opened up four times. My radiation treatments ended the day he was admitted for the last surgery. We both have a bit of healing to do!

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Mammograms

I recently had the follow-up mammogram to complete my breast cancer treatment. After the chemo/radiation, women are usually put on Tamoxifen(sp) for DCIS.

My bloodclot history led the doctor to a different drug to turn my ovaries off, Zolodex. My cancer was Estrogen fed, so my ovaries do not need to be producing more. The next step will be removing my ovaries, so that Estrogen can no longer float through my body looking for something to play with.

It was the most painful procedure I have ever lived through.

It was worth the painful smashing to discover I am cancer free!

True Love and Commitment

Is true love, commitment, and faith a thing of the past?  Does anyone today know the meaning of these simple words? I’m not sure they do! There are many definitions available for the words listed above. It is up to you to decide which one best suits your needs. Of course, my opinion is what it is, mine3.

I guess it could be in God’s plan that certain people remain alone;

but I am a true believer! You have to want someone to find them and be friendly with the words compromise, faith and trust! For a very long time, I ran when22 those words came into a conversation. After my first husband, words like those, brought the scaredy cat out in me.

 

As I sit at my husband’s bedside; not knowing what the next minute will bring; I feel sad for so many people. Today’s generation of kids, will never know or understand the feeling of loving someone so much you are willing to sit by their bedside hour after hour, just to be near them.  To know they are safe for the moment and realize your smile will be the first thing they see when they open their eyes. The smile that graces their lips, at that moment, makes it all worthwhile.

Every time I help him stand or gain his balance, brings us closer together. In 2009, Barry was there for me. Telling me the same things about recovery and helping with anything and everything I needed. Sitting at my bedside, unsure of the future. He could have walked away and he did not. He stuck by my side because he loves me. Experiences we have shared, have only brought us closer together.

This definitely was not part of our retirement plan, but we are making the most out of what time God has blessed us with. Presently, we maybe be part couch potato, but we have plans.

Accommodation is a big part of our plans. The health issues we are dealing with, require us to make changes to our original plans. Just by chance, my handsome hubby is handling change better. A trip to a beautiful, sandy beach needs to be researched for handicapped accessibility. As we make travel plans, we learn something new with every call.

We are back, at least for the moment!

In our earlier post, we stated we’d try to get a post in a week. Maybe more. According to how our day goes! Between radiation treatments, Barry’s doctors appointments and our energy levels; we are lucky to get anything posted. Have patience. I have taken pictures and written posts while sitting around the hospital. A lot of interesting things go on in local hospitals! Just wait……

Am I ready?

Such a simple question for process about to begin. God is watching over me, Barry will be by my side, Emory Winship Hospital will be providing the care and mom will be home waiting to cook a nice healthy meal. I’m hoping my stomach will let me eat. I do not need to worry about daddy, because Kristie is in control. I feel sorry for the nurse assigned to Pop yesterday.

My clothes are laid out and ready to go. My tablet will be charged, allowing me access to books, games, the Bible and whatever else the internet may provide as entertainment while waiting for the infusion to complete. I can do more research on chemotherapy and the type cancer I have. I can write a step by step post on what chemo is like. I would not want to bore you to death.

I have to repeat this process every three weeks for four doses. Then we swich to radiation. Radiation is scheduled to be daily for a certain period of time. I’ll find that out when the time comes.

My cousin has given the inside track on whst to ask for from the goof doctors.  She let me know what worked for her and what she has heard from other people. I believe Barry and I are as ready as we can be. 

There is a thunderstorm brewing here. We can hardly keep up with the grass. We’ve had so much rain, the flowers are h8rgeous and yhe grass is growing like crazy. I’m going to hit the sack. Hope everyone has a beautiful day tomorrow!

Tomorrow

The doctor has decided that my left knee needs replacing. At the moment my left leg is swollen from the ankle up to my hip. I look like I have a cankle. Since my brain tumor surgery, I haven’t been light on my feet.

The falls I have taken, since brain surgery really screwed up my balance, ha done a job on my left knee. I’ve been incredibly lucky and only ended up in the emergency room one time. I had forgotten how bad getting stitches hurts! But all the falling has taken care of any useful cartilage in my knee.

With the breast cancer, I’m still waiting to hear which treatments I will be getting. So, I am sure knee surgery is going to have to wait until after my treatments. I’m making a list of questions, for both doctors, I need to add that to both list.

This is crazy, I’m putting my health issues in a que to be handled in order of importance. Cowden Syndrome strikes again!

Wednesday afternoon, I am having a cyst removed from my right wrist. I’ve had wear a cast a few times when the cyst was enlarged. Apparently to get it to stop, it needs removing. My right hand is my only good hand. I need to keep it in shape as long as possible. I’m not looking forward to a cast or brace again, but I’m a tough cookie. I can handle it! Wish me luck!

Should we take a vacation or rest and heal?

Having breast cancer is such an issue. To start off, everything is rush, rush, rush to get a diagnosis. They will put you through a mammogram. ultrasound, MRI, and biopsy in one afternoon. Making you think you have some horrible problem that needs to be removed NOW! After all this, they schedule you to see a doctor a few weeks out. They freak you out about the possibility of cancer and then the wait is on.

When you get an actual diagnosis and the rush is back on to see a breast surgeon. You see the doctor and the rush is back on to remove the tumor, at the surgeons convenience. Once that is over, the weight is on again. Then you receive a call and are given date to see oncologist. The Radiation Oncologist at 11am and the Medical oncologist at 3:30pm. All in the same day, but there is no way to get the appointments closer together. After packing for a day at the hospital clinic, we head to the second appointment. They had a no-show and we got in early. It was nice to get in and out of there quickly.

The one thing I didn’t enjoy was listening to the same speech from two different doctors for over an hour each time. One doctor even wanted to know if the other had explained properly a certain lab test that can decide my need for chemotherapy or not and they both asked if the surgeon had gone over anything with me.

Without asking for our response again, We were given  appointments to get ready for radiation treatments, then found out at the next appointment, it would be hurry up and wait for blood-work ordered and a test on the tumor they removed. I feel like I know absolutely nothing about what is going to happen for my treatments. Better yet, I have an idea of the treatment, I just have no clue when the treatments will start. Maybe. by the end of the summer, I’ll have an idea when this will be over.

I have to remember this is in God’s hands and I need not worry. He’ll make sure things are under control. Take one day at a time. In this waiting period, should Barry and I rest and take time to heal or should we take off somewhere?

English: pink ribbon

English: pink ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)