Ode to my Lost Hormones

A breast cancer diagnosis, brought questions flooding in,

After the process was explained, one tiny question remained,

scores of specialist could not answer, I was scared silly of what was to come.


They called me “Lucky”, to have the tumor caught so early,

The treatments that followed were easy to get through,

Thanks to my cousin, Cindy, for sharing her secrets of survival,

What could have been unbearable, became tolerable,

Thanks for the info cuz, it was much appreciated.


Once the lumpectomy was over and the chemo began,

I found myself awestruck of the millions that have gone before me!

all  of the fight, strength, love and passion that has gone before me,

I persevere to continue the fight!


Thank you, Ladies for the inspiration to keep going.

I am a survivor, I refused to let this bring me down.

My chemo was coming to an end and I knew radiation was the next step,


Little did I know my journey was just beginning.

My sweetheart became seriously ill and needed immediate surgery to survive,

The same night my father went home to be with the Lord. As Barry slept, I told him to be strong,

I knew he was a survivor, Several family members and our Pastor helped me through the hard parts.


Life started to calm and a routine began, while Barry was being cared for at the hospital,

I left daily for my radiation treatments and returned just before supper.

Our Jeep had to be on auto-pilot to get me, from the hospital and back daily.


Once the oncologist suggested we turn my ovaries off,

first thing I pictured was a little switch that needed to be turned on each ovary, she had other things

in mind, once I knew my options,


I took the injection until I could schedule the surgery needed,

I knew the minute I woke from surgery, that my Doctor had been successful.

My first official hot flash was in the recovery room! 


The Estrogen and other things produced by my ovaries are now gone, the surgeon had a wee surprise for me,

Soy can mimic Estrogen in the body, soooooooooo…..no over the counter remedies for me!

Now the brown spots, the “hot and cold” flashes and mood swings were just around the corner,

On March 28, 2014, I was thrown face first into MENOPAUSE!


Echocardiogram Update



Jill was with me when I saw my Cardiologist “Dr. B” a couple of weeks ago, and he said the echo looked good and in his words “you are cured”, I praise God for that comment.  As God is the only reason I am alive today.  He also said that doctors get what they call a “save” maybe once every seven to ten years,  he considers me as one of those statistics. Well I was so tickled that all the surgical repairs have held up,  “Dr.B” also mentioned that there was a time that the Doctors did not know what to do.



A Night I Wish Would Just Go Away Is Turning Into The Weekend That Needs To Just Stop! I Prefer It To Stop | But Life Goes On

You read about Barry being admitted to the hospital on Wednesday. Thursday he did great. Friday he did great, During the night, his heart went a little haywire and he was trasfered to ICU. I received a phone call fron Barry 5hat he ews in ICU and was due for transfer  to Saint Joseph’s Hospital in Atlanta. He will be  in Cardiac ICU. I am a bit aggravated with the lofal yocal hospital.

When I went for chemo, it was discovered that I have a Deep Vein Thrombosis in the axillary vein going under my right arm. I have to give myself injections two times daily for the next week. Not sure of the cause, but it is near my chemo port. Hopefully these injections will work out my troubles. Have to get the injection that boosts my white blood tomorrow. Any volunteers to take my place?

A Night I Wish Would Just Go Away| Another

After Barry’s stroke in 2011, I was praying that similiar episodes would be at least ten to fifteen plus years down the road. But as we all know, it is not our choice.
God’s plan guides the flow of our lives. We have knowledge of the plan’s existence,  but we have no choice in the details or are we given choices of how our plan plays out. God knows. Only he has knowledge of our life plans.

Since 2010, Barry had an aortic valve replacement; a large territory, massive MCA; and now last night, a seizure has been added to the list. The etiology is currently unknown. Other than having every test in the book today, they can’t seem to figure it out. He has swelling on the side of the old stroke, but no other results.

Last night he was connecting the computer to the television, so that we could watch the live stream of our Wednesday night church service. We chose not to go last night because I had run a fever most of the day. He was standing at the computer, near the television when I realized he was falling backwards. I called out to him several times without a response.

I started calling for my mom to help. She called 911 to get an ambulance. He hit the front door, with the back of his head, and started shaking from head to toe.  He was kicking his legs and flinging his arms. About five minutes into the seizure, he came out of it and started to talk. He didn’t know what had happened and wanted to know why he was in the floor.

When I wa able to check him out, he has a lump on the back, left side of his head about the size of a grapefruit. It is still swollen today, but getting tender. He is having a little pain in his left shin. They said they were going to do an ultrasound to make sure he isn’t forming a clot. He started getting back to normal, but I made him lie still until the ambulance arrived.

They checked him out, loaded him up and headed to the hospital. We’ve been here since nine o’clock last night. He rested well, I just want info on the problem! Wish us luck! An Associate Pastor came out from church. We had a nice visit. He has had a few calls from other church members.The Good Lord is with us, but please keep us in your prayers! Thanks to all of you for your continued support and kindness!

Jill B.

Writing through Cancer: For the Week of July 14, 2013: Music is Good Medicine by Jill Baynes

After my brain surgery, I longed for the ability to sing. The side effects caused from the unremovable portion of the tumor, took my voice away. The tumor left in my head is pressing into cranial nerves, causing many of numerous parts of my body to malfunction from the shoulders up. The one thing I miss the most, continued to be the ability to sing.

I sang in chior as a child at church and continued into adult choir. As a middle-schooler, they offered chorus. I tried out and made the chorus in middle-school, then continued through high school. Apparently, I was blessed with a high soprano voice. At one point, I could actually hit a high C.

I loved to sing in the car. Especially when I was all by myself. I’d crank the radio up and sing my head off! I loved it. I miss it!

Barry and I found a church home locally last year. Since singing at church, I have been able to at least put words together that comes out like singing. It is not pretty, but the words come in a gersion of song. Thanks to our weekly worship, the good Lord is helping me find my voice again. I pray to thank Him for his blessings daily and sing my heart out weekly. Hopefully, my voice will continue to strengthen. In my case, music has definitely been good medicine.

Round 2

We go tomorrow to get lab results from the second surgery. I’m praying there will be clean margins, if not she csn tell me she can do the mastectomy and chemo/radiation will handle the rest.

Haven’t slept well lately, I’m off to bed to see if I can get some rest. I’ll post news ehen I have it. No news is good newd in my book. Sweet dreams all!

Jill and Barry Baynes