If you think you are about to read this ‘naughty girl’ confession list, prepare to be disappointed. I’m afraid to admit I’m one of the tamest women left on earth. I should have titled this post, ‘The things I should be embarrassed by or ashamed to admit I did’, rather than the title I posted. Well here goes, sorry to disappoint you……
1. I called out sick at work, when I just did not want to go.
I sprang a leak. I felt like I needed a plumber. The doctor’s answer was to cover it with a kotex pad to handle the drainage until my next appointment.
3. When I walk briskly, I sound like a bottle of water being shaken up.
4. When driving a drunk friend home, once upon a time, he attempted to grab the wheel and struck me across the face. I pulled over to the side of I-85 and put them out of my car.
5. I have had to send money to a friend stuck in Biloxi, Miss. without a dime to get home.
6. I once let someone get mad at me because I did not like hanging around with them. They got mad and quit coming around. I felt so bad, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell them to go away.
7. I let myself get into a situation at a party once, that a woman thought I was interested in her. Embarrassing….
8. When I went to pick a blind date up once, they attacked, I fought them off and ran. As I ran he tore the shirt and bra off my body. I was running through a parking lot half-naked.
9. In my single days, I let a woman tell an overly tipsy man I was hers, to get him to leave me alone.
10. Left a restaurant/bar with a couple of friends one night. When we got to the parking lot, one of the women I was with, started taking off her clothes as we walked to the car. To date, I haven’t asked “why?”.
11. I watched a girlfriend walk over to a man, whom had hit on her, pull a can of ‘Campbells’ soup out of the bust of her dress and hand it to him. She asked him to leave her alone and told him that he had the only thing he’d ever get from her in his hand.
13. I corrupted my new husband in the dark on a boat on Lake Lanier, many years ago. That is all I’ll say about that.
14. I have attended the Masquerade Club in Atlanta, Ga. Not proud of being talked into going.
15. I used to love karaoke.
All of the above statements are true, 90% of them happened within 6 months of my divorce. I decided after that time, that I had put myself and my body through enough craziness. I let the true, sane me come back out to be the decent person I am.