Category Archives: family matters

Daily Prompt: Person of the Year

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You’re asked to nominate someone for TIME’s Person of the Year. Who would it be, and why?

My nominee for Time’s Person of the Year would be my best friend, the love of my life, Mr. Barry L. Baynes. He does not feel he would deserve such an honor, but in my eyes he was the only person I would consider nominating. He has been my night in shining armor for several years.

Barry suffered a massive right-sided stroke in Dec. 2012. I almost lost him. His percerverence and determination not to let that stroke get him down, has given me strength and will to push through the health issues I have currently and really push myself into recovery and staying healthy.

Barry has been my love, my companion and my chauffer through what feels like millions of appointments with numerous doctors.

We started the year off running in January,  with a referral to a breast specialist at Emory over something suspicious on a mammogram. We were off to learn our way around another section of Emory University Hospital‘s clinics. (By now, Barry and I should have a wing dedicated to whatever we want.)

When Barry was not feeling well, he was there, never complaining always supportive. He gets stronger (from the stroke) daily. I can see the changes. He strength never faltered.

He has been my rock, he let me draw on his strength as I needed to. He was always positive. As doctors delivered news we really did not want to hear, Barry had a smile on his face. He tried to keep my mood elevated the best he could.

When I knew he wasn’t feeling his best, he tried to not let it show. He is always encouraging and loving.

All of the above are reasons, Mr. Barry L. Baynes, would be my nominee for Time’s Person of the Year. I could not think of anyone more deserving of this award.

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Jill and Barry Baynes

Should we take a vacation or rest and heal?

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Having breast cancer is such an issue. To start off, everything is rush, rush, rush to get a diagnosis. They will put you through a mammogram. ultrasound, MRI, and biopsy in one afternoon. Making you think you have some horrible problem that needs to be removed NOW! After all this, they schedule you to see a doctor a few weeks out. They freak you out about the possibility of cancer and then the wait is on.

When you get an actual diagnosis and the rush is back on to see a breast surgeon. You see the doctor and the rush is back on to remove the tumor, at the surgeons convenience. Once that is over, the weight is on again. Then you receive a call and are given date to see oncologist. The Radiation Oncologist at 11am and the Medical oncologist at 3:30pm. All in the same day, but there is no way to get the appointments closer together. After packing for a day at the hospital clinic, we head to the second appointment. They had a no-show and we got in early. It was nice to get in and out of there quickly.

The one thing I didn’t enjoy was listening to the same speech from two different doctors for over an hour each time. One doctor even wanted to know if the other had explained properly a certain lab test that can decide my need for chemotherapy or not and they both asked if the surgeon had gone over anything with me.

Without asking for our response again, We were given  appointments to get ready for radiation treatments, then found out at the next appointment, it would be hurry up and wait for blood-work ordered and a test on the tumor they removed. I feel like I know absolutely nothing about what is going to happen for my treatments. Better yet, I have an idea of the treatment, I just have no clue when the treatments will start. Maybe. by the end of the summer, I’ll have an idea when this will be over.

I have to remember this is in God’s hands and I need not worry. He’ll make sure things are under control. Take one day at a time. In this waiting period, should Barry and I rest and take time to heal or should we take off somewhere?

English: pink ribbon

English: pink ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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For the Week of June 9, 2013: When You’re Laughin’…

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I shared to topic of the week with my mother, so this one is for her……She shared a little “funny” from her chilhood. So, here goes the take of:

         “My Uncle Owen’s New Cowboy Boots”

My Uncle Owen, spent months, saving up his spare change. When he had enough money, he picked out the boots he wanted and placed the order.

For weeks, he watched and waited at the mailbox for his prized boots to arrive. When they finally arrived, he was thrilled. He opened the box with care, made sure they fit, wiped the boots down, and sat them by his bed to be ready for school in the morning,

He was up early, dressed and ready to go to school. His hair all slicked back, wearing his nicest jeans and shirt with his new boots. He hopped on the bus and grabbed a seat. He was ready to impress a certain young woman when he got to school.

The one thing he had not counted on, was the heel on his new boots. He should have practiced walking with the heel before wearing them to impress in public.

Unfounately, that young woman he was looking to impress was one of the first people to witness his fall from ‘grace’, when he was stepping off the bus. Poor Owen stood up to head down the bus steps. At the top step, he twisted his heel and fell the rest of the way down the steps. Ruining his bluejeans and scuffing his boots up. He also managed to scrape his knee.

Uncle Owen was mortified. When he managed to make it home, he had a brilliant idea to fix his boots. He spent a few hours in the barn after school, when he walked into the house in his ‘ new, new’ boots; we all just looked at him. He had such a bad day, no one wanted to laugh. If we had, we were not sure what Owen would do. He was getting pretty big for a fifteen year old.

Mom took him out on the porch to talk about his boots. He had cut the heel off both boots in the barn. What he did not realize, was that without the heel, the toe of the boot curled higher. He looked like he was wearing a pair of shoes from Denmark. The wooden shoes with the pointed toe.

Mom came in and ‘shhh’d us all. Owen walked in a few minutes later, without his boots on and sat down for dinner. We never spoke of the incident again. Owen never ordered boots from a catalog again.

Jill and Barry Baynes

For the Week of June 9, 2013: When You’re Laughin’…

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When You’re Laughin’…

I may have written about this one before, but I giggle to myself everytime I think about it! My father is such a caefree soul. Nothing ever appears to phase him. He could be pants’ ed by a naked clown and nothing, no response. I guess I get it from him. It takes a lot to get me going. If I am to the point of tears, leave me alone. If it is happy tears, point me to the bathroom quickly.

My dad was out out for lunch with his girlfriend, Charlene. They had a great time at lunch and were getting ready to leave. Pop got the check from the waitress and was headed to pay the check, while Charlene checked her make-up. While standing in line, a car in the parking lot caught dad’s attention. He thought he recognized someone.

The cashier said next, pop went to take a step forward when he realized his pants are around his ankles. He non-chalantly looks around the room, no one appears to have noticed. He slowly leans over, to grab his pants. He quickly pulls them up, as he glances around the room. He wants to make sure no one has seen what happened. When he was sure his pants were secue, he ran to the car.

He and Ms. Charlene have never eaten at that restaurant again. I can’t believe my dad was actually embarassed.

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Another Nephew Moment

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Our Niece and twin Nephews: they are now in their 30's

Our Niece and twin Nephews: they are now in their 30’s

The monkey in this story is the tall blonde to the right. Still Looks just like that. On my 25th birthday, in 1988, I received a phone call from my then 6-year-old brainiac nephew, Daniel. He is now 31.

During the call, the little munchkin pointed out and asked me, “Aunt Jill, do you realize you are a quarter of a century old today?” I explained to him, that yes I did and it was not  polite to point things out like that, especially to ladies. He agreed and said he loved me. then, hung-up.

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Daily Prompt: RSVP: “Princesses for the Day”

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At a birthday party before

At a birthday party before

Plan the ultimate celebration for the person you’re closest to, and tell us about it. Where is it? Who’s there? What’s served? What happens?

The person I am closest to is of course my husband, Barry. Although Barry deserves a huge celebration, there 2 others in my life that could really use a day to let go and do something crazy. My sisters, Sandy and Kristie, could both use a day of leisure or a day og being “Princesses of the Weekend”.

We would start with packing our bags for the weekend, loading in the car, and checking into the local hotel at the winery near our home.

The day we check in, we will take trail rides and have supper by the lake,  picnic style. We’ll roast marshmallows over the fire and head back to the hotel just before dark.

After a nice long sleep, we slept late and missed breakfast. We had appointments for mani/pedi’s at 2pm. Facials at 3:30pm, then finish the spa day off with a full body massage. Supper served in our room at 7pm.

We rushed to our rooms to prepare for supper. We had pre-ordered the lobster dinners with house salads, with crème brûlée for dessert. I, personally, was starving.

Over dinner, the three of us talked about our lives and families and discussed where we would like to be in 10 years. Each of us verbalized being happy where we are and only had a few things we would change about our lives. Nothing big, just minor little nothings like being healthier, relaxing more,  and more time with our families.

All together, we wished we could work it out to spend more time together and have more time for ourselves when at home. Our families keep each of us terribly busy. Kristie is raising 2 boys and doing a great job. She is also job-hunting, since obtaining her teaching degree. In her spare time, she takes care of our father, he lives next door to her.

Sandy works more hours than humanly possible at her church, but I admire her dedication.When she gets home, she takes care of her home and disabled husband.

Then myself, I’m retired and stay at home. Our mother lives with Barry and I. She can no longer live alone. Barry had a massive stroke in 2011, There are days when he and I takes turns being the clearest head in the house. Barry has a few minor issues from the stroke that he is learning to manage. We research and study my disease daily. It is sad to go see a doctor and know more about the disease you have than the doctor does.  It is truly sad, but that is how rare diseases are.

Sandy, Kristie and I got along wonderfully,  We had a wonderful time and hated to leave. After lunch, we had to pack up and head home. We made a vow to do this again and spend more time together as we headed out.

I chose to write this post over a post about Barry and I. The celebration I would have with Barry would be entirely private and not to be shared with the WordPress world. I like to keep those moments between Barry and I.

Jill and Barry Baynes

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A Trip to Pizza Hut with my Young Niece and Nephews

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Our Niece and twin Nephews: they are now in their 30's

Our Niece and twin Nephews: they are now in their 30’s

Once upon a hot Summer’s day, I was babysitting for my oldest sister. She and her husband seldom got time to themselves with twin boys and a daughter 15 months younger. I lived in town and got to spend a lot of time with the kids as they grew up.

Long-time/former Pizza Hut logo (1967–1999). M...

My sister used to tell people she found my first husband for me, so she would have a babysitter close by. She expected us to last a little longer than we did, I guess. Sorry, sis, that match just was not meant to be. I found my soul-mate, when her babies were in college starting their own lives. My soul-mate has just assimilated right into the family. Everyone is crazy about him!

At a birthday party before

At a birthday party

Back to the kids and Pizza Hut. We took them out to have supper at Pizza Hut (the only Pizza Place in town). The small town we lived in stuck in the 19th Century, could be hard to live in. Not a lot of change and if you advocated for a change, you were an outsider. Hey, the Pizza was great!

My niece and I sat on one side of the booth and my ex and the boys sat on the other side. When we had the kids, it was a constant men versus women battle, The topic of this dinner was quite interesting.

Pizza Hut Meat Lover's pizz

Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s pizza (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not sure exactly how the conversation started, but my niece (standing in her bench seat with her hands on her hips) told the boys that “women didn’t have to eat out, because we could cook at home”. One of her brother’s was a care-free little guy and didn’t care about anything. The other little guy was where she got her response. He was the sweet little twin, that was smart as a whip the minute he started talking. There are times today that I have to ask him to repeat things on my level.

He stood up on the bench at the table, looked at my ex and his brother to get their attention. He then turned to my niece and I then proudly  stated, “Well, we are men. We don’t have to eat out all the time. We can make sandwiches!”

Photo display leading to my wonderful news

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Received wonderful news, Margins are clear….now off to Radiation Oncologist to discuss treatment! Thanks for the prayers and support!

Writing through Cancer for week of June 2, 2013: Hope is a thing with feathers!

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This is a continuation of our post earlier this week:

That sweet little boy at the Birthday Party, looking and hoping he could find more presents hidden within the gift wrap piled on the floor. He was frantically searching; he was positive, he would find one more present. he was showing he had total faith in his situation. His thoughts alive with the feeling of hope.  He just knew he would find one more present. So adorable searching.

Before we had wrapping paper all over the house, we got a bag and played gift wrap basketball. Making a game out of the cleanup, let him see there were no more presents. he was able to focus on the gifts he received and the house full of people who came to celebrate with him and his sister.

Hope covers many aspects of  our lives.Dealing with a serious illness brings hope into your life in several ways. you hope the illness will not get bad, you hope to live through whatever illness you are going through, you hope your families will be there for you and not change their minds as you get worse, you hope the people you have called friends for years will be there when you need them.

There is so much hope involved in illnesses. It is hard to deal with hope, when you are fighting so hard to stay healthy and you find yourself surrounded by people you cannot count on. You need to remember that God is always there. Giving your troubles and burdens to God must be done with total faith, then we can continue our walk in life with the assurance that when trouble comes; we know God is there and that whatever the new trouble is,God is never surprised, for He is with you.

Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the middle of the sea. If your faith is not strong, we lose hope and start looking for a quick fix.

Psalm 46:1-God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble

Psalm 31:24-Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord

Psalm 33:18-Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;

Psalm 33:22-Let thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.

Psalm 38:15-For in thee, O Lord, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.

                 King James Version (KJV)     

It is that faith,  is our Hope and knowledge that God knows when we are on this rocky bumpy road, and holding that faith is when God puts his loving arms around us and smooths out the road ahead.

Though we may never know the why, but really do we need to know, because this is where we gain Wisdom as we talk to God and, no matter what comes our way, you know God will see you through it.

Through my illness, I have struggled with worry, stress, and anything else that made me worry. It wasn’t until I started praying for hope, mercy and understanding that I was able to but my health in God’s hands. I recently went through a breast cancer ordeal that I had no worries about I knew it would be ok. God was doing the hard work for me.

I am currently struggling with another issue. I am handing it over to the good Lord tonight hoping he can lead me in the right direction with re-motivating my partner in crime, I’m wearing my husband out. Barry suffered a stroke a few years ago and is doing wonderful, but he’s worn out. I need to see what I can do to give him a break. We both need a break, but that will have to wait a little longer. I do not know what I would do without him.

One day at a time!