Category Archives: Good Day

My mother’s appetite

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Today, we arrived at my sister’s home to sit with pop while Kristie took Little Man to an appointment. The minute mom walked in the house, she had a plate of what Kristie was cooking for supper and had made herself comfy at the dining room table. It was getting late, so they rushed off to the apointment.

The minute they walked back in the house, mom sat her drink down next to her bag of candy. She headed straight for the kitchen again. She returned with a bowl of bean soup and cornbread. After that, she returned with a slice of cornbread. She said she wasn’t full yet, so she made a ham sandwich for the road. She finished the sandwich before she left and went after the cornbread again. My sister asked me to get her out of there, so she didn’t have to bake more bread.

All of this eating took place in about 10 minutes. I took her bowl away and said it is time to go mom. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

Writing through Cancer: For the Week of July 21, 2013: Returning “Home”

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Barry and I do lot of traveling, unfortunately we haven’t had time for a trip just “for us”. Most of our traveling has been to doctors, labs, coumadin clinics, nuerology clinic’s, oncology clinics, breast specislist, and infusion centers. Those are just for Barry and I, we also handle mom’s doctor’s trips.

Eventually we have plans for ourselves, but I think we will save that for the end of the year. Somewhere quiet that feels like home. Just the two of us, always alone. Loving time together, spoiling each other. After the few years we have been through, we deserve it.

We are discussing some where to spend Christmas away from home. Might take to puppy dog with us. Who knows! Anything is possible.

Returning “home” is the project, so let me stop babbling and get to it. Although our traveling has not been for pleasure, coming home still feels like heaven.

A trip to the grocery store feels like a 10K roadrace at time. So walking back into our meager abode from any trip away from it, is a pleasure.  I love the sight of my fuzzy, velour blanket draped over the arm of my favorite chair in the living room.

Waiting by my chair is Barry’s favorite rocker/recliner. He loves to rock, it relaxes him. His favorite blanket over the arm of his chair, also. His is fuzzy, plaid. But he is so cute asleep, with it cuddled under his chin.

Waiting at home for us, usually, is our sweet little Maggie with her Boxer waggle. Walk into the house and she makes you feel like you have been gone for weeks. She loves you to pieces whether you have been gone five minutes or a week. She loves you no matter what. Unconditional love, what you give your family on a daily basis. Did the Good Lord bless man’s best friend eith such a wonderful quality?

The feeling of brings warmth and comfort over you. Relaxation sets in and the comfy clothes come out. The clothes you would not be seen in public in, along with your favorite slippers. No matter how ratty. In “The Wizard of Oz”, Dorothy could have not said it better with “there is no place like home, there is no place like home”. There is truly, no place like home. Even without ruby red slippers to get you there.

My Sisters, Wonder Woman in disguise…..Bet you never knew there were three

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I am the middle child of three girls. We grew up in a small-town called Winder, Georgia, in the late seventies into the eighties. We are quite a mix, but we make it work. We all have excessively busy lives. We live within 30 minutes of each other and hardly ever see one another.

I’ll start with the oldest, Sandy, Wonder Women number one. She is hardworking, smart,detail oriented, sweet, loving, caring, kind-hearted, meticulous, adores her children and grandchidren, keeps an emmaculate home, takes incredible care of her husband, whom is wheelchair-bound from a spinal cord tumor. Dennis gets around and takes care of himdelf during the day, he even drives. He manages several household chores and always makes sure Sandy has a hot meal ready at night. She is the secretary at her church and drives a school bus for the county they live in.

She likes things done her way or no way; she doesn’t care to see things go wrong; she believes it is ok to plan gatherings the day before she wants to have it; she tells you what time something will start or what time she will arrive, but is always on average two hours late; but on the other hand. She has my love and respect, but I have to admit, I do not know how she does it. I would have packedup and run away a long time ago. She is one tired, incredible woman and I love her dearly. 

Our relationship has changed since I got sick. I miss the relationship Sandy and I had. We will probably never get it back. I had enough trouble accepting the “new me”, how can I expect others to understand and accept the changes I deal with daily. I just want to be included. If I am able, I’ll be there!

Brain injuries make a person vulnerable to infections and other things that could be deadly. That fact has kept me closer to home in the past few years. I’m a great aunt, now. I’d love to be able to play and have fun with them, just as I did her kids growing up. We had some great times.

Enough of that. Let’s get to Wonder Women number two, my younger sister, Kristie. Kristie is sweet, kind-hearted, loving, caring, smart, adores her dhildren and husband, focused, detail-oriented, hard-working, and is currently using her super powers to take care of father, who is gravely ill. Sandy snd I have helped when we could, but it hasn’t been close to enough to give her a break.

Kristie surprised me after I had brain surgery, she visited daily for a few weeks and cooked several meals, so we wouldn’t have to worry about it. She helped get me to rehab when Barry had a conflict. This was so sweet. Not that she hasn’t been sweet in the past,  Barry and I just were not expecting it. Thank you, Kris!

Kristie has a quick temper and let you know when she thinks you are wrong. I did not witness this, but she took a 6’6″ man to the ground and beat him up. Mom called her a “lightening bolt” when getting her up for school in our younger days. She still carries a bolt in her back pocket.

I love both my sisters with all my heart and will do anything in the world for both of them. Thank you both for being there when I have needed you! I could not have gotten better sisters if I had ordered them from a catalog. God truly blessed me in the sister department! Thank you, Dear Lord for my sisters!

Writing through Cancer: For the Week of July 14, 2013: Music is Good Medicine by Jill Baynes

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After my brain surgery, I longed for the ability to sing. The side effects caused from the unremovable portion of the tumor, took my voice away. The tumor left in my head is pressing into cranial nerves, causing many of numerous parts of my body to malfunction from the shoulders up. The one thing I miss the most, continued to be the ability to sing.

I sang in chior as a child at church and continued into adult choir. As a middle-schooler, they offered chorus. I tried out and made the chorus in middle-school, then continued through high school. Apparently, I was blessed with a high soprano voice. At one point, I could actually hit a high C.

I loved to sing in the car. Especially when I was all by myself. I’d crank the radio up and sing my head off! I loved it. I miss it!

Barry and I found a church home locally last year. Since singing at church, I have been able to at least put words together that comes out like singing. It is not pretty, but the words come in a gersion of song. Thanks to our weekly worship, the good Lord is helping me find my voice again. I pray to thank Him for his blessings daily and sing my heart out weekly. Hopefully, my voice will continue to strengthen. In my case, music has definitely been good medicine.

Peace and Quiet

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As I sit here,  totally alone (with the exception of the dog and fish), a strange feeling comes over my body. I’m not sure I recognize it. I have the remote control to myself,  no one is fighting for my chair, my blanket is mine, a pillow comfy under my neck, I think I have forgotten what this is called.

Could this strange sensation be relaxation? I haven’t relaxed in such a long time, it feels odd. I am actually getting sleepy. Maggie is already asleep in Barry’s chair. Shotgun is swimming  happily around in his clean tank. The sun is shining in the windows making everything nice snd cozy. I think I might take a nap.

I love my husband. He was a sweetheart to take mom to the Surgery Center for her eye surgery. While I have a few peaceful hours to myself, he has to sit and wait. I’m getting a sore throat and not feeling well, my orders are to rest. So, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your day! I am off to sleepytown. Sweet Dreams, all!

Writing through cancer: For the Week of June 30, 2013: Rediscovering Summer’s Joys

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Through our health crisis’ s, Barry and I did not think  a lot about what we were losing, we focused on changing our behaviors,  unknowingly bringing a few Summer’s Joys back into our lives.

Gone are the days of lying on the couch, doing nothing to benefit ourselves. We have a plan for each day of the week. When our schedule is not saturated with appointments, we find an activity and get involved. We have found a local farmer’s market that carries items from around the world. We are enjoying experimenting with our new discoveries. There are several fruits from around the world, that might loook a little strange, but are quite tasty.

We walk, we work out, we have found a therapy pool to try out this summer, we garden, we feed the birds in the yard and plant things especially for the wildlife around. We hope to catch a few photos of them nibbling on the goodies we have provided.

We have a few special projects planned for the yard,  but will have to wait on chemo, radiation and the good southern sun to cool off before we can get started. The Georgia heat and humidity has to die down to be productive outside. It will drain you in a flat second if you aren’t careful. I think getting the cast off will help a lot.

Dad has been really sick this summer. The doctor has actually not given him long to live. He is being discharged home on Hospice care. Been busy trying to help as much as possible.  Poor Kristie is worn out. I wish we could help more. We are being as supportive as possible.

We have planted a few Japanese Maple Trees, that are looking incredible. I love watching what we plant grow. I can’t wait to work on our butterfly garden. I love watching the flutterflies and hummingbirds go wild on the blossoms.

With chemo and radiation, our summer joy’s will be early fall joys this year, but hey….we have something to look forward to.

For the Week of June 16, 2013: A Father’s Legacy: Lee Van Hayes, my father and Barry L. Baynes, my hubby

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My daddy

My daddy


This is reblogged from earlier this last month. The part about Barry, my husband is new. The Two Important Fathers in my Life! All fathers are important, these are just the two big guys in my life.

I speak a lot about my mother and the rest of my family, while Pop sits quietly in the background. He has always been quiet, but he is always there. Ready when you need him. He gives great hugs!

My mom and Pop divorced over 20 years ago. Daddy was head over heels in love with mom, but she just could not be happy. I’m not sure mom knows how to be happy.

Pop is a sweet, sensitive man that likes to stay busy. His body is breaking down and he still wants to go. My sisters and I just want uim to take a little better care of himself in the process.

Growing up, Pop would be gone when we got up in the mornings and did not get home until we were in bed asleep. He made sure we spent time together on the weekends. We picniced and went fishing a lot. I still love it today.

He and mom planted a garden yearly. Our punishment during the summer month was weeding the garden.
Each one of us does some form of gardening today.

With Pop working so much, I wasn’t sure how he felt about us or if he knew we were alive. It was my childish mind not understanding, he was out working his hiney off, so that we could live the life we were living. We vacationed 2 weeks at the beach every summer, when I wanted knew clothes all I did was ask.
I can remember the first time my daddy told me he thought I was pretty. I was ready to go to a dance, all dressed up in my 80’s garb. Homecoming dance, I think. Pop came in from work early. He walked over and kissed me on the cheek. Then said, “I think I just realized how pretty you are. Have great time tonight, honey.” I had to redo my makeup. But it is a moment with my daddy, I’ll always remember.
HAPPY FATHER’ S DAY, POP! You are the best!

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Now to my sweet husband. He is a father. He has a son from his first marriage. When Barry and I met, Frank was in High School. When we married, Frank was not happy and has not made life easy for himself or us, including his own mother.

It didn’t matter what I attempted to do, Frank decided long ago he did not want me as part of his life and did everything possible to get rid of me. It has been his choice to not be part of our lives. I feel horrible, if it is my fault. But it has been his choices and actions that has gotten us to where we are today. I truly wish something could be done. Barry and I pray for him nightly! Hopefully as he grows up a little more, things will change. Both Barry and he deserve better!

Barry is warm, caring, giving, highly-intelligent and loving man. Frank’s mom suffered from health issues after his birth, so Barry was in charge of 90% of the raising. Most of us are either a lot like our mother or father. Frank looks just like his father, but has his mother’s personality. That is as far as I go on this topic.

I do not know what words to say, to make this day easier.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, HONEY! You are the best!

Love you guys, Jill Baynes, your daughter, Jill and Barry, your wife, Jill (in case you forgot my name)