Daily Prompt: Never Again

Have you ever gone to a new place or tried a new experience and thought to yourself, “I’m never doing that again!” Tell us about it.

Barry, my adorable husband, wanted to share a place from his past with me. Barry was a Boy Scout Troup leader for years. While we were in the area of the Boy Scout Camp, we decided to ride up the mountain to see the camping area.

Neither of us thought about the mechanical condition of the truck, when we decided to tackle a mountain. Straight up the side of the mountain to get to the campsite. Not only was the road dirt, but it had been raining all week long.

As we started up the mountain, the truck started rocking and we realized the road was incredibly bumpy. Barry says, “I guess we need to change the shocks.”

By the time we reached the campsite, my body shook by itself and my teeth chattered without any help from the temparature in the air.

The campsite was beautiful, but that was the first and only time I eill ever see it. If a helicopter dropped me at the top of the mountain, I might consider a second trip. Until that day arrives, I’ll treasure my memories of our crazy ride up the side of a moutain.

Writing Through Cancer | For the Week of August 4, 2013: Can It Get Any Worse? Part 2

Part 2

My strength comes from the Lord, my family, and my handsome husband Barry. I draw a bit of strength from each of these people. Together, day by day, problem after problem, we grow stronger as a group. The easiest way to deal with issues is one at a time, one day at a time.”Hope springs eternal”, from Alexander PopeAn Essay on Man. That quote says it all. Keep hope alive.

Barry and I are adapting well to dealing with our illnesses. We had to get re-acquainted with each, but everything has worked out. He had to retire.  The stroke left him unable to handle working full-time. Barry  made adjustments around to house to aid me in normal daily function. He helped Libor and Jonny build a porch and ramp off the front of dad’s home. Worked beautifully.

There is no course reversal for my illness. There is only management and learning to cope. You keep up with your yearly appointments, take your medications as prescribed, eat healthy, and exercise. Cowden’s Syndrome is a rare disorder about a mutated gene in my DNA. To learn more, follow the link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowden_syndrome is related toLDD: which is just a symptom of Cowden Syndrome. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lhermitte%E2%80%93Duclos_disease

No one looks forward to losing a loved one. I for one, can definitely say, I am not ready to lose my dad, Barry lost his father at a younger age, so he is helping me deal with the emotions, while I take care of my health. My sister’s are in the boat with me. We’d like to keep mom and dad around forever. But that is not in God‘s Plan. Only he knows when it is our time to be with him. So, One day at a time. Slow as we go, enjoy every minute we have.

 

The daily prompts I write from each week come from the following blog by Sharon Bray:

http://writingthroughcancer.com/

Follow the link to her blog. She is incredible! Thank you, Sharon…..Jill Baynes

Writing Through Cancer | For the Week of August 4, 2013: Can It Get Any Worse?

Can it get any worse?  Maybe so, but then again, maybe not.  Hope keeps us moving ahead, one step at a time.  Think of a times you were dealt bad news, your own or someone else’s?   How did you first react?  How did you get through a difficult period in your life?   What helped?  How did you find the strength—even hope—to cope and begin to heal?  How did you find a way to reverse the course and bit by bit,  make your life better?

When life decided I needed to make lemonade, someone had a truck load of lemons delivered and dumped them by garage door. I guess for easy access from the kitchen. God knows I have trouble walking, I guess he was just trying to help out.

Hope keeps you going, but the Lord above is raining that hope down on our situation. We need a good saturation of hope. Through our bible studies and attending church regularly, I think we are finally relaxing as issues occur and giving things to God.

Dealing with my diagnosis has becomes easier daily. I’m adapting the attitude. when

I am working on handing all my issues over to the Good Lord above. Currently Barry and I need all the help we can get. It seems like everyday day gets a little tougher.

If you follow our blog, you know our history, but what you do not know is that my mother lives with us. She has her separate living space, but has no boundaries. Mom is newly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and the beginning stages of Lewy Body Dementia. If interested. to find out more about Lewy Body Dementia, follow the following link, http://www.lbda.org/

It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Leaving mom at a hospital to treat mental health issues. That’s my mommy! I’m supposed to take care of her. I cried the entire day we took her over to the hospital.

On top of managing chemotherapy for breast cancer, managing my mom’s care, making sure Barry is OK and assisting my sister when I can with my dad; Barry and I do what we can to help out at church. We are slowly working into volunteering more often, as my energy level rises. We are truly enjoying it.

My dad has been given an undetermined amount of time to live. He is suffering from  heart, kidney and liver failure. He has moved into my younger sister’s extra room and monitored by hospice. If anyone needs help with anything, please let me know. Barry and I will see what we can do.

When we first found out about dad, it was the day I found out I have breast cancer. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Dealing with the two is a t of emotion to handle at once.

Talking with my sister’s and my blog has helped me pull through this mess. We are taking one day at a time, one problem at a time. We are all hoping daddy will surprise us all, and turn things around. Hope keeps us going, but knowing his salvation will  bring peace to each of us.

On chemotherapy, I have not been able to aid my sisters as much as I would like to with dad.  The brunt of his care has fallen on Sandy and Kristie. They both know I would be right there with them if I could, dad knows to. My daddy knows I love him. Barry lost his father at a young age. He is my rock, my strength as usual.

I’ll finish this up tomorrow. I’m pooped. Sweet dreams. Mom has gained a little weight. We need to take her dress shopping tomorrow. Could be interesting.

The daily prompts I write from each week come from the following blog by Sharon Bray:

http://writingthroughcancer.com/

Follow the link to her blog. She is incredible! Thank you, Sharon…..Jill Baynes

 

Daily Prompt: Pat on the Back

Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us SUCCESS.

Our nephew, Jonathan, has overcome tons of odds to get where he is today. He has trouble with attention at times and has faught tooth and nail to keep his schoolwork up. He can be a bit lazy, but has made the grade every year and becomes more focused daily.

He loves the outdoors and working outside. His favorite pasttime is torturing his little brother. He has matured so much in the past year. He is turning into quite a nice young man.

He is so handsome at fifteen years old. The good thing is, he hasn’t discovered girls yet. I cannot believe they aren’t beating the door down. Hopefully he will not notice girls until he is in college.

He shows me such respect and is the only person around, other than Barry that doesn’t treat me like I’m a different person since the brain surgery. I’m still Aunt Jill to him. That rewards him the greatest respect from me. To have him show me that kind of respect at his age amazes me.

I cannot believe he is such a sweetheart. I beam with pride as I watch him grow into such a good young man. I’d love to think I might have had a small influence on him. It is an honor to call him my nephew. Who knows?

Daily Prompt: Life After Blogs

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

If I did not have a computer to do my blog and everything else we do online, the word old school comes to mind. I remember diaries, writing letters, land line phones, and actually talking to one another.

Kids today may not understand several of these things, but the human brain is an amazing organ. It can help you learn new things. They would learn to cope quickly.

My life without a computer just takes me back in time to pre-technology. I’d feel as if I were in high school again. The only negative I see in the picture, is paying long-distance fees for the telephone. Otherwise, I’m good!

Writing through cancer: For the Week of July 28, 2013: What Did You Notice?

I was unable to walk today, I’m not feeling my best, so I stayed close to home. We went to church this morning, but unable to attend tonight. I tell Barry to go without me, but he doesn’t like me home alone. I gave up and quit arguing.

Yesterday,  Barry and I walked the yard and updated our garden journal. I’ll use our stroll around the yard for this post. We started at the front porrch. We have a few Chinese Fringe Flowers that need pruning and a few new spouts have popped up, that need transplanting. A few weeds that need to be handled,  but nothing I cannot do.

My minature butterfly bush has come back out and is almost three feet tall already. I need to work on the decorative well pump by the porch. My butterfly garden is suffering from inattention. The hosta’s have come up beautifully and I have a few that need transplanting this fall. It may take us that long to get the garden back to glory to make room for them. A Sweet Gum Tree has taken root near the water spicket. That needs to go!

On the hill to the right of the house, we have planted two red maples and attempted to handle a bad wash area with monkey grass and lillies. They are filling in nicely. Might take a year or two for it to fill in.
To the left of the new trees, we planted a few Chinese Fringe Flower Shrubs to act as a barrier near the guidewire for the telephone pole. Looking good near the road.

At the drive, I have a combo of old-fashioned lillies, Stella D’odro lillies and knockout roses. We have tons of room to add to this area, I just need to figure out what to add. We recently moved the mailbox to the otherside of the drive. It needs sprucing up.

Down the rightside of the drive, is considered mom’s territory.  We have a couple of things there, we planted prior to mom’s arrival. There are three heavenly Gardenia Shrubs well-established. One blueberry bush is closeby for the local critters to enjoy.

Behind those a Pin Oak is coming in nicely. It is large enough to sit a chair under to enjoy a little shade.  The rest on that side is is mom’s territory. I need to feed her a friendly reminder that she needs to do some weeding.

Under our bedroom window, we discovered a few surprises. Four O’clocks planted a few years ago have come back out and a lantana has popped up thanks to some sweet bird in the yard. It will transplant nicely when the time comes. The Hosta’s have come back out. They are huge and need a new home.

Beside the garage door the Smilix vine and lantana are gorgeous. The ramp and porch are around four feet tall. The lantana has out grown the porch already. The back of the house is more natural. We have two Corkscrew Willow Trees, a beauty berry bush, and one lone Pampas Grass. We need to do more in the back. I’d like to get a few hardscaping projects done. Barry and I will work slowly on those.

There is evidence of unknown wildlife either living or traveling through the yard. We watched a bunny run around for a few minutes. By the driveway, we saw a couple of lizards and salamanders playing aound on the porch. Barry got a wildlife camera for a retirement. We have been attempting to get pictures of what happens in the yard at night. No success yet!

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                                 Gardenias

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                                  Hostas

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                                       Gerber Daisy

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                                   Maggie and Mom’s Iris’s

Daily Prompt: Back to School | Recess

If you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?

Going back to school to master anything scares the pants off me, but if I had a choice and the time, it would be any and all forms of recess. I was always the shy kid picked last for teams (does wonders for your self-esteem), because I sucked. When I tried out for cheerleading, I got into a split (my first ever) and couldn’t get up. I had to help to get up. I was the laughing stock of the entire school for weeks.

I could not run fast to save my life. A sit-up in those days would kill you. They tried to make you do male push-ups, but that did not last long. No one could do one! Then there was the totally embarassing, “We must, we must, we must improve our bust, the bigger the better, the wider they spread, the boys depend on us!” How utterly embarassing is that in front of a gym full of kids?

Masteringing recess would boost my enthusiasm for exercise later life. If I had learned to enjoy excercise at an earlier age, maybe I wouldn’t avoid it like the plague today. Above I am talking about middle school, once in high school, we were given more choices. Band, chorus, drama, horticulture, and tennis along with a few others. I chose chorus and exercised my vocal chords.

My homeroom teacher in 9th grade was a coach, the JV girls basketball coach. He saw me walk in his classroom and started the recruiting. I’m a wee-bit tall. I had no idea how to play, much less whether I could dribble or not. He didn’t care, he was dertermined to teach me. I played one game, got my picture in the annual and quit. I sucked at basketball too! But my dad was proud because I tried.

If I was just a little more attentive, maybe I would have a greater interest in being fit today. My lazy days of middle school sent me into fearful choices in high school and I has been left has left out of shape st 47. It is truly tough to whip an old body into shape when it hasn’t been exercising all along.

My mother’s appetite

Today, we arrived at my sister’s home to sit with pop while Kristie took Little Man to an appointment. The minute mom walked in the house, she had a plate of what Kristie was cooking for supper and had made herself comfy at the dining room table. It was getting late, so they rushed off to the apointment.

The minute they walked back in the house, mom sat her drink down next to her bag of candy. She headed straight for the kitchen again. She returned with a bowl of bean soup and cornbread. After that, she returned with a slice of cornbread. She said she wasn’t full yet, so she made a ham sandwich for the road. She finished the sandwich before she left and went after the cornbread again. My sister asked me to get her out of there, so she didn’t have to bake more bread.

All of this eating took place in about 10 minutes. I took her bowl away and said it is time to go mom. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

Parents: Raising them

Currently my father continues to have spells of v-fib and passing out. For some reason, his implanted pacemaker/defibrillator does not fire properly. 

I received a call from my sister, that it has happened again and he is in an ambulance on the way back to the hospital. She did not know his status once in the ambulance, but was on the way to the Emergency Room. She told me to stay home and take care of myself, that she swears she will call as soon as she has news.

I had a chemotherapy treatment last friday and a hospital emergency room is the last place I need to be at the moment. I’m exhausted and my bones ache like crazy, so I’m going to kick my feet up and rest.

My mother appears to be having an issue with the amount of attention my dad is getting from the three of us. She has a doctor’s follow-up after cataract surgery scheduled tomorrow. I asked if it was ok to reschedule, so I could be there with Kristie to help sign him into hospice. Mom agreed and went to her part of the house to makeba call.

When I went to tell her it was rescheduled, she was on the phone complaining that we are ignoring her needs and not getting her where she needs to be. She was talking to one of her sisters.

This is totally untrue. My dad is not well and not expected to live. I just do not get this childish stuff.  I know she has an ilness affecting her thought processes, but it is not exactly the same.

I asked her to please verbalize if she has an issue with a schedule change. She says she will. What else do we do?

The Infusion Center

Saturday afternoon, Barry and I were at the Infusion Center to receive my Nulastin injection to boost my white blood cells. As I sat quietly waiting, I looked around and listened to the conversations around me.

The gentleman sitting to my right was on his second round of chemotherapy for bladder cancer; the lady to the right said hello and dozed back off quickly.

There was a young man in his twenties sitting across, the nurses’ s were hanging blood for. His bloodwork needs boosting to continue his treatments next week.

The gentleman in the chair next to him, had his wife with him. She she speaking to the lady two chairs down from me. The lady down from me, was stating that she was giving up. Her husband could no longer sit with her, he was tearful and upset. He left the room and twenty minutes, a young lady showed up to sit with her mother.

After listening a while longer, she revealed that she was going through her sixth round of chemotherapy for the last time. Years ago, it had started in her breast and just spread around her body, until she now had brain cancer and nothing was helping.

She said she cannot do it anymore and is ready for her seat in heaven. Her daugher started to cry. I started tearing up, Barry pulled the curtain to allow what little privacy that is avaiable.

As I listened, to the hustle and bustle around me, I was hit with the sheer magnitude of the number of people that float though those rooms. The waiting room is always full, and when called back for my turn, I’m taken to the only empty seat in a bay.

It is truly sad to see all of these wonderful peeple going through the agony of chemotherapy. But this is still a statement for how far medical technology has come. All those people in there numerous times surviving, although having to come back for more.

I’ll continue this post after I look up some numbers. They have to be up there. I never thought about it before this date.