Category Archives: The “New” Jill

Post Lumpectomy: Day 9 pathology report from Dr. S

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When you go to a doctor’s visit for a pathology report, life can get a little scary. They tell you they caught it early and it will be easy to handle once out.

I’m not worried about the results, my life is in the hands of Our Glorious Heavenly Father. I’m ready for whatever he has planned for me.

I’m getting a bit frustrated with things going wrong with me. I’m especially frustrated with the constant need doctors have to cut holes in my body. It will not take long for my body to look like a road map of scars. I need to make an appointment with a dermatologist next. I have a few places that need to be checked out.

Cowdens Syndrome is manageable, but you have to stay on top of your screenings. Miss one could mean a major life change or your life. At the moment, my head is spinning and I can not turn it off.

There are so many health issues going on with me at the moment, it is hard to judge what to handle first. The priority at the moment, is the breast cancer. My knee would have to be next and the growth on my tongue is third. Within the breast cancer treatment, I have been getting treatment to the left knee. I have an appointment next week concerning my tongue. We’ll see.

Received the pathology report today from surgery. My lymph nodes are clear, but the cancer had spread in the tissue around the tumor. I have to have another operation to let the doctor remove more tissue.

Unfortunately, the process I’ve just been through is about to repeat and could repeat numerous times until she is happy with the amount of tissue she has removed. I’m not happy with the thought of more surgery, but I do not want this mess growing in my body.

Well supper is ready and I’m off to serve it up. Have a great evening…….

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Things I thought I would never able to say, ‘Yes, I did that’ , in my life time

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If you think you are about to read this ‘naughty girl’ confession list, prepare to be disappointed. I’m afraid to admit I’m one of the tamest women left on earth. I should have titled this post, ‘The things I should be embarrassed by or ashamed to admit I did’, rather than the title I posted. Well here goes, sorry to disappoint you……

1. I called out sick at work, when I just did not want to go.

2. I am currently wearing a kotex pad under my left arm, to cover one surgical incision from my breast cancer surgery.

I sprang a leak. I felt like I needed a plumber. The doctor’s answer was to cover it with a kotex pad to handle the drainage until my next appointment.

3. When I walk briskly, I sound like a bottle of water being shaken up.

4. When driving a drunk friend home, once upon a time, he attempted to grab the wheel and struck me across the face. I pulled over to the side of I-85 and put them out of my car.

5. I have had to send money to a friend stuck in Biloxi, Miss. without a dime to get home.

6. I once let someone get mad at me because I did not like hanging around with them. They got mad and quit coming around. I felt so bad, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell them to go away.

7. I let myself get into a situation at a party once, that a woman thought I was interested in her. Embarrassing….

8. When I went to pick a blind date up once, they attacked, I fought them off and ran. As I ran he tore the shirt and bra off my body. I was running through a parking lot half-naked.

9. In my single days, I let a woman tell an overly tipsy man I was hers, to get him to leave me alone.

10. Left a restaurant/bar with a couple of friends one night. When we got to the parking lot, one of the women I was with, started taking off her clothes as we walked to the car. To date, I haven’t asked “why?”.

11. I watched a girlfriend walk over to a man, whom had hit on her, pull a can of ‘Campbells’  soup out of the bust of her dress and hand it to him. She asked him to leave her alone and told him that he had the only thing he’d ever get from her in his hand.

12. My ex-husband talked me into ‘making-out’ in a casket at a funeral home in a small town in Georgia.

13. I corrupted my new husband in the dark on a boat on Lake Lanier, many years ago. That is all I’ll say about that.

14. I have attended the Masquerade Club in Atlanta, Ga. Not proud of being talked into going.

15. I used to love karaoke.

All of the above statements are true, 90% of them happened within 6 months of my divorce. I decided after that time, that I had put myself and my body through enough craziness. I let the true, sane me come back out to be the decent person I am.

‘

Mother: Part 2

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I was heartbroken to realize mom was crying this afternoon. It breaks my heart to see her cry. She gets confused when she cries.

When I sat her down to talk, I apologized for not realizing she wasn’t feeling her best and asked what the problem was. Mom proceeded to tell me she was upset with herself and didn’t know what to do.

Do to health reasons, mom has recently had to give up driving and gave her car to my youngest sister. If she’s not driving, why carry the cost of a car. Well, this afternoon, when mom went out to gather her tools for gardening and realized she did not have everything she needed, life hit her in the face.

When the thought of her inability to drive hit her, she lost it. She says it felt like her independence was flying out the door. She said she understood and knew it was time, but it would take her some time to get used to the feeling. 

She wanted to go to Wal-mart and realized she could not drive. She said it hit hard and she started crying. When she asked me where she could plant her plants in the sun, I argued with her for asking because I was almost asleep.

Barry helped me outside to go through the gardening spots with mom. We spent an hour outside helping her decide where she needs to plant certain things. Just that hour of time outside with her eased the painful thoughts she was having. Talking it out helped. We talked as we looked for garden spots, she felt better when we all decided it was time to eat.

She is thrilled that, my sister Sandy, is taking her to my nephew, Daniel’s college graduation, next weekend. She was so excited when she told me she was going. Like a big kid going to Six Flags. She got her hair cut, so she’s looking great! Mom likes to dress up and go places. She cleans up well.

I need to check to make sure all of her medications are packed and ready to go. I need to get copies of everything for Sandy. I want her to be set to have a good time. She deserves it.

It is so close to Mother’s Day! I don’t like to see mom upset. Barry and I both are glad Sandy is taking her on this trip. It will do her spirits some good.

Kristie and her family, Barry and I, and now I guess I’ll ask Sandy and Dennis, are taking mom to lunch at the Chinese Buffet in Snellville after church on Sunday. That will perk her up to. She needs to be showered with attention at times. We all love you very much, Mom!

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MOTHER: Part 1

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Mother’s Day

This article is about a holiday celebrating mothers and motherhood.  For other uses, see Mother’s Day (disambiguation).

Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May. It complements Father’s Day, a similar celebration honoring fathers.

The celebration of Mother’s Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration.[1][2][3][4] Despite this, in some countries Mother’s Day has become synonymous with these older traditions.[5]

Founding

Main article: Mother’s Day (U.S.)

The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. She then began a campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s. Jarvis’ holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world. In this tradition, each person offers a gift, card, or remembrance toward their mothers, grandmothers, and/ or maternal figure on mother’s day.

Various observances honouring mothers existed in America during the 1870s and the 1880s, but these never had resonance beyond the local level.[6] Jarvis never mentioned Julia Ward Howe‘s attempts in the 1870s to set up a “Mother’s Day for Peace”, nor any connection to the Protestant school celebrations that included “Children’s Day” among others. Neither did she mention the traditional festival of Mothering Sunday, but always said that the creation was hers alone.[7] For more information on previous attempts, see the “United States” section in this article.

Spelling

In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases “second Sunday in May” and “Mother’s Day”, and created the Mother’s Day International Association.[8] She specifically noted that “Mother’s” should “be a singular possessive, for each family to honour their mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world.”[9] This is also the spelling used by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in the law making official the holiday in the United States, by the U.S. Congress in relevant bills,[10][11] and by various U.S. presidents in their proclamations about Mother’s Day.[12] However, “Mothers’ Day” (plural possessive) or “Mothers Day” (plural non-possessive) are also sometimes seen.

Dates around the world

As the American holiday was adopted by other countries and cultures, the date was changed to fit already existing celebrations honoring motherhood, such as Mothering Sunday in the United Kingdom or, in Greece, the Orthodox celebration of the presentation of Jesus Christ to the temple (2 February). Mothering Sunday is often called “Mother’s Day” even though it is an unrelated celebration.[5]

In some countries the date was changed to a date that was significant to the most religion, such as Virgin Mary day in Catholic countries. Other countries selected a date with historical significance. For example, Bolivia’s Mother’s Day is the date of a battle in which women participated.[13] See the “International history and tradition” section for the complete list.

Ex-communists countries, such as the former East Germany, usually celebrated the socialist International Women’s Day instead of the more capitalist Mother’s Day.[14] Some ex-communist countries, like Russia, still follow this custom[15] or simply celebrate both holidays, which is the custom in Ukraine.

Note: Countries that celebrate the International Women’s Day instead of Mother’s Day are marked with a dagger “†”.

To read more about Mother’s Day, follow the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother’s_Day             

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My Mother: Betty Lou Fountain Hayes Hawks Day More Photos to come leading up to mother’s day! Enjoy!

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You cannot catch my brain tumor, so please do not discount me!

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I have no problem with the“nice”coming out in people, but where does all this negativity in people come from.

When I was younger, it was odd to see a person with a disability out shopping. I, personally, think it is wonderful to see senior adults and other disabled people getting out and doing for themselves. Makes you feel good.

I ran into a couple of the most negative human beings on earth this week. Ironically, while out shopping. I was using the motorized shopping carts in both instances. At Kroger, the lady actually raised her voice and accused me of attempting to run over her when I only drove around her to get down the aisle.

Then at Wal-Mart, I was turning to go to the next aisle when I almost hit a woman and her shopping cart head on. I said “excuse me” and started around her. Her response was to state, “Good grief, I said I was sorry!” If one more person tells me to let someone have the cart, that really needs it. I think I’ll scream at them. But I do enjoy the look on their faces when I “tell them to tell it to my brain tumor!”

Priceless……I still am not sure I understand either one, but what can I do? I intend to keep helping with the household duties, which include shopping. Just because my body doesn’t work like it used to, doesn’t mean I can’t shop!

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POST: 300

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Just wanted my 300th Post to be summery! Thanks to everyone out there for your kindness and support. You are a fabulous group of people! Keep it up!

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Writing Through Cancer: When life hurts, writing can help. Weekly writing prompts for those living with debilitating illness, pain or trauma.

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Stories—the small personal ones that bring us close as well as those of the larger world—foster compassion.  In the telling of our personal lives, we’re reminded of our basic, human qualities—our vulnerabilities and strengths, foolishness and wisdom, who we are…, through the exchange of stories, [you] help heal each other’s spirits.

–Patrice Vecchione, Writing and the Spiritual Life

Growing up, I was a shy child. As the years went on, I came out of my shyness a little, but as I grew older and started getting serious about life the shyness reappeared in certain situations.

I think we all go through an awkward phase as a child, I’d say I hit mine around the sixth-grade or seventh-grade. The summer I turned twelve years old, I shot up over six inches in height. Mom thought she was purchasing stylish glasses for me, when truth be told, they were the ugliest glasses I had ever seen.

Anyone with an opportunity and a mean streak took it upon themselves to let me know how gawky and goofy I looked in those glasses. As I got taller, I was the second tallest girl in my class and the first girl to develop in all the right places. I was taller than everyone in the class. That just added to the fire.

Another thing that added to my “nerdy” status is that I developed allergies as a child. I grew up when they didn’t know how to treat allergies. I was always sick, had a lot of food allergies and did a ton of throwing up after meals. Not so easy to make friends when you are literally the snotty girl, always scratching and have the ability to vomit at the drop of a hat. Kids can be so mean. I was sick so much, mom thought I needed to see a doctor daily. The ironic thing about mom running me to the doctor constantly, was that the brain tumor I have has been there since I was a child. I was sick, but not for any of the reasons she was taking me to the doctor.

All of these, should have been good things, but the kids I grew up with saw a vulnerable girl they could hurl their latest ammunition at. It was like some bully kept a book and said “let’s pick on her today.”

One stupid new girl decided she would target me on her own. I became her pet project at her new school. She took particular dislike to my glasses. I was called “Four-Eyes” so many times in the eighth-grade that I decided to let her foolishness stop bothering me and decided to kill her with kindness. Sometime in the night-grade,  the bullying stopped. The new girl, never turned nice through four-years of high school, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t let her get to me.

I took my classes, did my school work and survived high school. Most of us do. What you have to remember about bullies, is that they are just jealous or sometimes it could be as boy or girl who is sweet on you and doesn’t know how to handle their own feelings. Be patient growing up, God will get up through it! I went to college away from everyone I had known for years.

After graduating high school, the shy girl came flying out of me again. Nursing school put me into situations I didn’t know how to handle, so I did my best. If I was uncomfortable in a situation, I worked my way through it. After I was married the first time, I ran into people here and there. What I noticed the most, was they acted like we were life long friends. God says to forgive and I have forgiven.

Doctors are not kind to new nurses or old ones at that. My first nursing job, opened my eyes to how crude the medical profession can be. You would not believe, what goes on behind the scenes, at some hospitals here in Georgia. In all my life, I did not realize how ugly people can be to one another. I grew-up quickly.

After my first husband and I divorced, one of my first jobs as a single woman was at the local jail in my hometown. The saddest part of that job, was seeing more people I went to high school with in jail than on the streets of town. A few were hard to believe, but others I had seen in trouble for years. I dated a deputy for a while, and he got a bit stalkerish. Someone in jail, that I had known for years, stood up for me. He did the right thing and said something when the time was right. I never got the chance to say thank you! Thank you, Joe! I know he’ll never see this, but at least I have said it.

I went through many jobs, that finally lead me to the career I was meant to have. I stayed with that career until I was forced into retirement by a nasty brain tumor called a gangliocytoma. I would later discover the tumor was just a symptom of a genetic disorder called Cowden Syndrome. Sine that diagnosis, I have survived Thyroid Cancer and I am dealing with breast cancer. Every month, I am in some doctor’s office being probed, prodded or x-rayed.

Note to all doctor’s that do lumpectomies, tell your patient’s about the fluid build-up possibility and the possibility of acting like a leaky pipe under your arm. It would make life after lumpectomy less stressful.

I’m getting tired, but I refuse to let this mess get the best of me. God has a plan for my life, otherwise I wouldn’t still be around. It is not my place to question that plan. I have tolerated this breast cancer episode better than things in the past. Either I am tired of fighting, or learning how to give it to God finally. I’ve prayed about the subject. It must be sinking in.

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Growing Up in the Shadows, Part 2

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My sister’s and I are now adults. There have been many changes. Once, Sandy and I were close, but I have become much closer to Kristie as we grew up.

Sandy married early and started a family early. She and her husband, Dennis, have twin boys and a girl. All but one are out on their own with their families started. Derrek is the hold out, he is looking for his perfect mate. I have no doubt he will find her eventually.

Someone Dennis worked with, introduced me to my first husband. I was head-over-hills in love. We were married and I moved to Madison, Ga., lovely little town. I discovered while in Madison, I missed Kristie terribly. Twelve years later I was divorced and living back in my childhood home.

While Sandy and I were doing the marriage thing in Madison, Kristie got stuck dealing with mom and dad as they filed for divorce. For years, mom firmly stated, the minute Kristie was out of high school she was leaving.

Two weeks, to date of Kristie’s graduation, mom packed up and left. I felt so bad. She had been threatening for years, I guess I never thought she’d. Mom was really good with acting on her present tense threats, not her future threats. She generally forgot what she had threatened.

I was proud of Kristie, she dealt with the mess at home, started school, helped daddy through finding an apartment and moved in with him. Pop is a pack rat and living with him was not easy. Kristie made a forever friend at school and her home became Kristie’s second home. It was good to see her happy for a change.

Mom met and married her second husband sometime in this period. Just thinking of my mother on a date is scary, but actually getting married. When we would call to talk to her, he would claim he did not know her. Things really did not get better.

We found out somethings from his past, that made Sandy and her husband refuse to let mom see their kids until she divorced him. This only made mom mad. Mom went to Sandy’s one day and flattened all her car tires.

She proceeded to The Office of the Department of Family and Children’s Services. She reported to a case worker that Sandy and Dennis were mentally abusing their children by not letting them see their grandmother.

What mom didn’t realize was that she was talking to a close friend of mine. My husband being in Law Enforcement, she called him the minute mom left her office. She told my ex that my sisters and I needed to go to the courthouse to have mom committed for incompetence. The sad thing is, back then, neither Sandy, Kristie or I had the nerve to do it. We knew what we’d have to deal with when they let her out!

Not long after that, Kristie met her husband. They were married and starting a family early. Kristie and I found out we were pregnant at the same time, about a months difference. I miscarried for the fifth time and Kristie delivered Jonny. He is like my child.

This pregnancy was the end of my marriage. My husbands attitude changed and it started to effect our marriage. It wasn’t long after that we filed for divorce.

Sandy stayed busy with her happy home and wonderful kids. It used to aggravate me beyond means for my mother to drive past my home, to Sandy’s. She would then call me and say “get out here to see me,” even as an adult, my mother put me in the shadows because I didn’t have grandchildren.

Sandy has worked hard and has a beautiful family to be proud of. Kristie has done the same. She has two beautiful boys she is busy raising. They have both done incredible jobs being moms.  I spent these years focusing on my career and working. I’ve done a great job spoiling their kids rotten. Thanks to Julie-bug, I can start spoiling the second generation.

Kristie had been married a few months when I got divorced. I moved back into my childhood bedroom and attempted to get my life together. Jonathan was the light of my life. When he was old enough, I took him everywhere.

His bottle was my alarm clock every morning, he would beat me in the head saying “Gege” until I got up. He towers over me know. We had such special times together when he was younger. I wish I was able to do the same things with Marek, the little man of the family. I miss the old me, but the new me gets better every day.

I had several jobs until I found the place I loved. I was still in that profession when I was forced to retire due to the brain tumor.

This position required me to train people and do a lot of one-on-one speaking with families and corporate officials. I have been brought out of my shell. Taking care of myself wasn’t easy, but I learned I could do it alone.

Not long after starting this position, I met Barry. Little did I know, I had just met the love of my life. Barry was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. He was sweet, handsome, funny and such s gentlemen.

Our one quirk, is his son, Frank, hates me. I have done everything I know to do for that child and he still hates every inch of ground I walk on.

Our health issues started with Barry, but his had been under control, with medications, for years. The hospital trips started with me and the brain tumor, then the thyroid cancer, then it switched to Barry’s heart valve, back to my gallbladder and knee scope; next came Barry’s stroke and my breast cancer. We’re gonna stop there for now. I don’t want to give any body parts ideas…we’re running out!

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