Round Four Finale

MM900295156Biopsy results are NEGATIVE! NO cancer. They still want me to have an MRI, because they do not have a solution for the problem. But no cancer!!!!!!!Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Saw endocrinologist today about thyroid scan. It was clear, but there is a lymph node she wants to follow. Which means she wants to schedule a thyroid scan! I hate the thought of another thyroid scan. You have to put your system into hypothyroidism before the test.

Last time, they were out of the injection to do this for you and I had to quit taking my medication for 3 weeks before my body converted to hypothyroidism. I was so weak, I could not walk. I was having to use my wheelchair to get around everywhere.

But I’ll do what I need to do to make sure I stay cancer-free. I may not be happy, but I’ll do it. I’m hoping Thyrogen is available and taken care of in 2 days.

Get results of the MRI on my left knee, next Tuesday. I have the feeling surgery is around the corner. But again, I’ll do what I have to do to stay healthy.

I can’t wait to get back to my full exercise routine. I miss it! Gonna light a fire under Barry’s fanny to get him moving with me. We may even get Maggie in on it!

Well, I’m putting this tablet down for the time being. We have to run an errand. Round 5 starts next week, with God leading the way. I hate to think where I’d be without the good Lord guiding us through this mess. Still taking things one day at a time. Thanks for your comments and support.

Mom is dreaming again….Diggin’ Taters..

This is a strange one, because mom used to tell us this story when we asked for a good scare. She was a live participant in the story this time. 

Mom grew up on a farm. She, her brothers and sisters, did a lot of the gardening to provide food for the family. To put it in mom’s words, she is not a stranger to ‘diggin taters’. 

Mom is the oldest of eleven children. So when she had the younger children, she was in charge. In her dream, mom and three of the older kids are in the potato patch digging potatoes for dinner.

To set the stage properly, it was a windy day. It felt like a storm was blowing up. The wind was whistling through the trees,  sounding like someone trying to talk to you. The air was thick and heavy, reminding everyone summer storms can be dangerous  and you do not want to get caught out in the field in one. Mom was trying to rush everyone, so they could get back to the house without getting caught in the weather. 

My Aunt Jo said to mom, ‘did you hear that?’ Mom told her she didn’t hear anything and keep working. Then, my other Aunt Bib asked mom the same question. She yelled at the two of them to quit playing games and get back to work.

My Uncle Owen decided to keep what he had heard to himself, because he didn’t want my mother yelling at him. Truth be told, it sounded like the wind was talking to them and he knew mom had heard exactly what the other three had.

There appeared to be a voice in the wind saying;

Who has my big toe? I want my big toe!’

The four kids kept working, wanting to make grandma happy with the amount of potatoes they brought back. The wind continued to whistle and all four kids were starting to hear the voice.

Who has my big toe? I want my big toe!’

By this time, they had enough potatoes for a couple of days, so they gathered their tools and tater sack and headed back to the house. No one said a word to anyone about the strange voice.

That night in bed, Aunt Jo and Uncle Owen woke mom up to tell her they were hearing the voice in the house. The difference was, it was followed by footsteps. She quickly told them it was their imagination and to get back to bed.

She tried to get back to sleep, but discovered sleep eluded her.

She heard someone say, ‘Who has my big toe?’

All she could do was think about what she had just heard.  She also heard every noise, bump and bang the house made in the night.  

The next day, mom and the other kids were outside playing when they heard Grandma Frank scream. They went running into the kitchen to see what the problem was.

Grandma Frank had dumped the bag of taters in the sink to clean them up and prepare them for storage. She was standing near the sink shaking from head to toe and pointing at the sink. She was mumbling incoherently. Mom went to the sink and peered inside. Laying there, among the potatoes they had dug up yesterday, was a big toe!

Daily Prompt: Buffalo Nickel

Dig through your couch cushions, your purse, or the floor of your car and look at the year printed on the first coin you find. What were you doing that year?

With this prompt, it would be my luck for the first coin I come across be from the year I graduated from high school (1983). I searched the couch cushions due to the temperature outdoors. The car would have been more appropriate since I spent most of 1983 in a car, after graduation. I met my ex-husband in 1983, right after graduation. When he wasn’t at my house, I was in my car on the way to see him. It was kinda a close, long-distance romance.

I got sick my junior year in high school, so when graduation time was getting close, I had to go to summer school to have enough credits to walk with my class. To make sure I had enough credit, I took a night class at the local junior college, to pad my credits a bit. I’d been through too much with this class not to graduate with them. I worked my fanny off to get the credit, but I made it.

I spent the rest of the year finalizing my plans for nursing school, learning what it means to ‘shoot dove’, learned how important and fun it can be to try to be quiet while deer hunting, I learned how to catch and clean a crappie, and I learned how to drive a tractor to pick up a big roll of hay, to feed cows. Yes, I was turning into a country girl.

I learned many more fascinating things, these were just the first to come to my mind. 1983 was a year of many firsts.

There have been times I look back and say that if I could go back, I’d tell my ex ‘no’ when he asked me out. When I think a little harder about the subject, I’m the woman I am today, because of my ex-husband and it all started in 1983.

Dancing, Gray New Balance Sport Shoes

My mom is married to a very sweet man named James. The situation the two were living in, made my sisters and our families uncomfortable. My abilities around the house and my level of functioning was making everyone a bit nervous, especially Barry. Mom needed a home, we needed help. Ta-da……Barry and I got a new roommate. James did not wish to come with her. He wished to stay near his family.

My mother is as sweet as she can be when she wants to be; then at the drop of a hat, she is a totally different woman. She is extremely protective of her girls and will do anything to protect us.

At this moment, she realizes, I am stressing about tomorrow. I am not sure if she is joking with me about this dream, or she really had it. True or not, I have to share. I cannot believe she even thought this up, I’m hoping she actually dreamed it.

Mom discussed her dream with me, when I went to give her a thirty-minute warning to leave for church. She first told me she wasn’t going because she ate too much salt the day before, then she starts giggling. When I asked what was so funny, she asked me to sit down and tell me about her night.

As she was sleeping, she swears she opened her eyes and was awake through all of this. She says she opened her eyes and could see herself as if looking in a mirror. She stuck her tongue out at herself, the image did the same. She moved her left hand and touched palm to palm with the image. She says she closed her eyes, when she opened them, the image was gone.

Next she started to hear country music playing. She looked up at the ceiling to see her gray, New Balance sport shoes dancing on across the ceiling. Mom loves shoes, and has a ton of them. She said the next thing she knew, her closet door flew open and her shoes, all of them, proceeded to dance up the wall to join her  sport shoes doing their thing on the ceiling. She laid down on the bed to watch the show.

She states the next thing she knew, her alarm clock went off. When she went to get out of bed, her shoes were all over her bedroom floor. At that moment, she heard a man laughing in her bedroom door, she looked up to see her father in her doorway.

His comment to her was she never could keep her room clean. He closed the door. She chased after him, at the moment her foot hit the floor, she was wide awake. She opened her door and he, of course was gone…….

Gotta love her………..

 

Monday Jitters

Give, it to God, Jill.  Don’t let all of these crazy things worry you. Take one day at a time and one appointment at a time. That is all you can do, do not over think what is going on next week and let God work in your life. He is the one with the plan for your life. Let him work it. Be strong for yourself, Barry and you family. It is inside of you. Be strong. No matter what the outcome, be strong. She your strength in your actions. Barry needs to know you are OK and tough. Be strong for him. Be encouraging for Barry. He needs to see your strength.

Please forgive my nervous outbreak. A lot going on next week that I am not sure I’m prepared to deal with. But I’m in God’s hands and he’ll take care of me. I’m more worried about Barry than myself. Hospitals make him nervous, especially Emory, since the stroke. I’m sure it will all work out. Monday is the key. Just take it one day at a time. 

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Six Word Fridays- Hand/Hands

button-1Barry and I hand in hand. I love Barry’s strong, warm hands. I need Barry’s help at times. His hands are always there. When I need a hand on steps. When I need a hand up. His hands are always readily there. His comfort makes me feel whole.

I have a husband deserving much. His hands deserve things my hands. Can no longer function to give. My hands shake when they function. I want to show Barry love. I want to show him appreciation. I will find another way love.  Can shine through to Barry’s heart.

I will figure a way love. Can shine through my actions daily. I need him to know love. Still shines through in my actions. He deserves that and much more. His wonderful hands show me daily. That he loves me unconditionally always. He joins me in God’s hands. God’s plan guides our daily life. His watchful hands guide us daily.

Join the fun. Follow the link below.

http://mymemoryart.blogspot.com/2013/02/six-word-fridays-hand.html

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My eyes playing tricks on me…..just an example….please forgive me Pastor

When leaving church services a few days ago, my eyes were acting strange all day. Barry and I walked out the front door toward the parking lot. Our weather, has been a huge range from sunny to rainy to windy to stormy. Well, this night, it was burrrrrrr cold and windy.

I looked off to the right of the parking lot because something caught my eye. I turned and asked Barry if there a fire toward the Pastor’s house?

He started laughing and informed me that what I was seeing was the wind blowing the stop sign, with the parking lot lights reflected on the stop sign. My eyes just made it seem further away than it was. I was looking in the direction of the Pastor’s house.

The reason there may be a fire toward the Pastor’s house is an entirely different story, I don’t feel it is proper to share without permission. I’ll just tell you, it is a good one! He has video to prove it.

http://deriklawrence.wordpress.com

Double Whammy…you have to love doctors!!!

While at a checkup with the Allergist today, I received a phone call from the genetics counselor assigned to me. She had received the results of my genetics test. I apparently do have the rare genetic disorder all the doctors have been avoiding discussing with me. So I am one in 250,000 people in the United States blessed with this genetic nightmare.

Even though one sweet doctor had taken it upon himself to tell me that I could be considered diagnosed with the disease because of my medical history; I felt like a rock had been dropped in my lap. Reality smacked me in the face and now I had to discuss this with my family and get them to be tested. I hate being like this.

I would never wish this on my worst enemy, I certainly do not need to worry about my sisters, nieces and nephews having to deal with this. What about their children? This is just so much to deal with. I was coping fine, until I knew for sure. Now…I need to pray on this…

 

 

My brilliant Doctor, part 2

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I must tell you about yesterday at the beautiful Emory Campass in Decatur, Georgia. The neurologist report was actually good. He has finally learned that I am sensitive to medication and did not go off on a wild tangent trying different drugs.

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I was actually so happy. It was the first time since 2010 that I received a good report from this guy. I could have kissed then cute little old man. Just adorable. 

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Then, came our second appointment for the day and those words no woman should ever have to hear. There are 2 areas showing on the right side. We are unsure of what one is, but the other appears to be cancer. We need to do a need to do needle biopsies as soon as possible to get some answers.

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We added this to all the other treatments I have scheduled through the next month. I only have a few scheduled: close neck ultrasound, kidney workup and ultrasound, MRI of the brain, MRI of left knee with possible surgery,  MRI of breasts, and now needle biopsies in right breast. I have a busy month of probing and proding.

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Would anyone like to change places?

Daily Prompt: Childhood Revisited

Sure, you turned out pretty good, but is there anything you wish had been different about your childhood? If you have kids, is there anything you wish were different for them?

I am doing my best to decide how to put this in writing. I thought about this all day and have narrowed it down to two things I wish would have been different in my childhood. I’ll do my best not to ramble, please be patient.

My sisters and I had a traditional southern upbringing, dysfunctional family and all. Our parents encouraged us to study, we knew right from wrong, and we loved each other. Mom and dad worked all the time. Mom stayed home until we were old enough to be left home alone and then she started working, She was home when we needed her, or at lease close-by.

Dad left in the mornings before we ever got up and was not home until we were in bed. On the weekends, he worked his secondary business and was home only at night. We had our family nights when dad was home. We actually had breakfast and supper around the dining room table several times a week.

I grew up wanting for nothing.  If we ever wanted anything extravagant, we had to save our money up or wait for a sale. I believe that is where my frugal attitude comes from today!

During the summer months, mom and dad always made sure we stayed busy. I know my way around the Bible, a softball field, a basketball court, and a swimming pool. Mom and dad made it to the important events, but there were times we were on our own.

One of the things I wish could were different from my childhood is going to church as a family, instead of being dropped off at the door to attend services with my sisters. Don’t get me wrong, my sisters and I are close, due to the time we spent together. It would have been nice having mom and dad with us at church. I truly believe that they both believe the Jesus died to save us from our sins, but I cannot help feeling unsure of their salvation.

Mom lives with me now, and attends everything Barry and I attend at church. Dad is a different story. I do not remember the last time I saw him in church for something other than a funeral. His health is declining and he does not get out like he used to, but I know he grew-up in the church. It would have been joyous to have all five of us in church at the same time. Well, the past is the past. All we can do now is look forward.

My second thing I wish could have been different during my childhood is medical technology. From the time I entered kindergarten through high school, I was always sick.

Mom spoiled me rotten and my sisters still pick on me today, because of that.

I was part guinea pig when they thought they had figured out a treatment for allergies. They did all the testing and I suffered through the intramuscular injections for years, before they figured out it could be done with a subcutaneous needle, just under the skin. The nurse’s from the seventies, learned to give an intramuscular injection into the shoulder. There were several times I actually felt the needle hitting the bone. It was so painful. I took the injections without success for years and then refused to go.

In my teenage years I developed female troubles. We let the doctor do the known treatment for my problem at the time and it rendered me unable to have children.

If today’s medical technology had been around in the seventies, maybe I could have had a normal childhood and been able to have kids today. In my world, Claritin is the best invention of the twentieth century. When I was younger, Dristan was it. With today’s medical technology in the past, maybe brain tumor research would be further along today and I wouldn’t need a wheelchair when my legs do not work.

My life has been God‘s plan and it is not my place to question it. I read my Bible and try to stay upbeat and focused. I pray daily and ask for grace and wisdom to help me make it through the day. I exercise to stay strong and keep busy. My blog is my refuge for my feelings and such. It helps me not to hold things in. I write them down. It is very therapeutic to me. My counselor advised me to either do a journal or start a blog.

To summarize, my parents being more involved with my sisters and I at church; as well as, today’s medical technology being available in the seventies, would have made my childhood a better place to be. Honestly, I wouldn’t interfere with God’s plan for my life. I grew up loved and happy. Everything else is all good!

If, if, if, maybe, maybe, maybe…….