I Wanna Run Away!

Please, someone tell me when it is okay to run away. I’m not sure how much more I can take before I crack. 

I live the “Life of Riley“. Honestly, I not sure what that means. Was it a TV show? Radio show? Cartoon? I’m going to look it up. The situations I’ve heard it used in usually involved someone having it made; not in need of anything; someone spoiled rotten. All of the above, at times, can describe my life.

I live in a beautiful home with the perfect husband and family pets. We have one boxer and one fish. One step-son that keeps his distance.

My husband and I are raising my mother. It can be a challenge at times. But we make it.

We are far from well off or rich, but we are comfy. A lot of people today can’t say that. It really hurts Barry and I to see others struggle. We help when we can, but keeping up with medical bills will eat you alive. 

Since 2009, Barry and I have run from doctor to doctor trying to figure my illness out. It is starting to feel like a waste of time. Every time I see a physician, something else is wrong.

Is this a never-ending battle? Is all the running around doing a bit of good? I guess I’m a little tired of being sick. I feel like my life is falling apart and I’m not sure what to do.

That doctor, last week, really threw me for a loop. Just uttering those 2 little words has my head in the toilet.

It was like the day the doctor told me about the brain tumor. “Oh by the way, you have a brain tumor.” That is how he told me. He added a few other things to it, but that was enough to shatter my world. My head was in a spin then, and it is spinning like a top now.

I’m not going to do anything stupid. God has kept me around for s reason. I have too much life left to live to do anything stupid, I’m just trying to write this down to see if it will shake me out of this funk.

I should be sleeping . Big birthday party tomorrow. Going to be a long day, I need my rest. Barry is snoring in the chair next to me as I type. Maggie is snoring on the couch. Maybe I should follow suit and go to sleep. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I’m trying to turn mine around. Be sweet!