Writing through cancer: For the Week of July 28, 2013: What Did You Notice?

I was unable to walk today, I’m not feeling my best, so I stayed close to home. We went to church this morning, but unable to attend tonight. I tell Barry to go without me, but he doesn’t like me home alone. I gave up and quit arguing.

Yesterday,  Barry and I walked the yard and updated our garden journal. I’ll use our stroll around the yard for this post. We started at the front porrch. We have a few Chinese Fringe Flowers that need pruning and a few new spouts have popped up, that need transplanting. A few weeds that need to be handled,  but nothing I cannot do.

My minature butterfly bush has come back out and is almost three feet tall already. I need to work on the decorative well pump by the porch. My butterfly garden is suffering from inattention. The hosta’s have come up beautifully and I have a few that need transplanting this fall. It may take us that long to get the garden back to glory to make room for them. A Sweet Gum Tree has taken root near the water spicket. That needs to go!

On the hill to the right of the house, we have planted two red maples and attempted to handle a bad wash area with monkey grass and lillies. They are filling in nicely. Might take a year or two for it to fill in.
To the left of the new trees, we planted a few Chinese Fringe Flower Shrubs to act as a barrier near the guidewire for the telephone pole. Looking good near the road.

At the drive, I have a combo of old-fashioned lillies, Stella D’odro lillies and knockout roses. We have tons of room to add to this area, I just need to figure out what to add. We recently moved the mailbox to the otherside of the drive. It needs sprucing up.

Down the rightside of the drive, is considered mom’s territory.  We have a couple of things there, we planted prior to mom’s arrival. There are three heavenly Gardenia Shrubs well-established. One blueberry bush is closeby for the local critters to enjoy.

Behind those a Pin Oak is coming in nicely. It is large enough to sit a chair under to enjoy a little shade.  The rest on that side is is mom’s territory. I need to feed her a friendly reminder that she needs to do some weeding.

Under our bedroom window, we discovered a few surprises. Four O’clocks planted a few years ago have come back out and a lantana has popped up thanks to some sweet bird in the yard. It will transplant nicely when the time comes. The Hosta’s have come back out. They are huge and need a new home.

Beside the garage door the Smilix vine and lantana are gorgeous. The ramp and porch are around four feet tall. The lantana has out grown the porch already. The back of the house is more natural. We have two Corkscrew Willow Trees, a beauty berry bush, and one lone Pampas Grass. We need to do more in the back. I’d like to get a few hardscaping projects done. Barry and I will work slowly on those.

There is evidence of unknown wildlife either living or traveling through the yard. We watched a bunny run around for a few minutes. By the driveway, we saw a couple of lizards and salamanders playing aound on the porch. Barry got a wildlife camera for a retirement. We have been attempting to get pictures of what happens in the yard at night. No success yet!

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                                 Gardenias

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                                  Hostas

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                                       Gerber Daisy

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                                   Maggie and Mom’s Iris’s

Daily Prompt: Back to School | Recess

If you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?

Going back to school to master anything scares the pants off me, but if I had a choice and the time, it would be any and all forms of recess. I was always the shy kid picked last for teams (does wonders for your self-esteem), because I sucked. When I tried out for cheerleading, I got into a split (my first ever) and couldn’t get up. I had to help to get up. I was the laughing stock of the entire school for weeks.

I could not run fast to save my life. A sit-up in those days would kill you. They tried to make you do male push-ups, but that did not last long. No one could do one! Then there was the totally embarassing, “We must, we must, we must improve our bust, the bigger the better, the wider they spread, the boys depend on us!” How utterly embarassing is that in front of a gym full of kids?

Masteringing recess would boost my enthusiasm for exercise later life. If I had learned to enjoy excercise at an earlier age, maybe I wouldn’t avoid it like the plague today. Above I am talking about middle school, once in high school, we were given more choices. Band, chorus, drama, horticulture, and tennis along with a few others. I chose chorus and exercised my vocal chords.

My homeroom teacher in 9th grade was a coach, the JV girls basketball coach. He saw me walk in his classroom and started the recruiting. I’m a wee-bit tall. I had no idea how to play, much less whether I could dribble or not. He didn’t care, he was dertermined to teach me. I played one game, got my picture in the annual and quit. I sucked at basketball too! But my dad was proud because I tried.

If I was just a little more attentive, maybe I would have a greater interest in being fit today. My lazy days of middle school sent me into fearful choices in high school and I has been left has left out of shape st 47. It is truly tough to whip an old body into shape when it hasn’t been exercising all along.

Daily Prompt: Moment of Kindness

Describe a moment of kindness, between you and someone else — loved one or complete stranger.Photographers, artists, poets: show us KINDNESS.

While driving home from work one evening (at that time I worked the second shift, 3-11pm at a local hospital). I did not like driving home at that hour, but the money was perfect for a low-stress position. I enjoyed the job, making the drive worthwhile.

It felt like a long drive home, due to the main route between the two towns. It was a long country road, through the sticks, in the middle of no where. One gas station stood as the only sign of civilization on the ride.
While driving home one evening, just past midnight. While driving down a big hill, I noticed a car on the side of the road, flashers going. As I drove closer to the car, I realized the car was empty. I made sure no one was laying around the car and continued my ride home.

Approximately, one half a mile from where the broken down car sat, I drove past a man. He was dressed in a suit, walking up a huge hill, carrying four suitcases and sweating bullets. I backed up, opened my window and asked if he needed a ride and if so, to get in.

I then told him that if he intended to kill me and steal my car, I’d get out and let him have it now. If he genuinly needed a ride, to get in and I’d take him to the closest pay phone.

He put his bags in the back, and got in the front seat. He buckled up. I gave him my extra bottle of water snd we headed to the local gas station. I made sure he had help on the way and headed home, myself.

He never said a word, other than “Thank you, ma’am”!
One year later, to date, I received a surprise. It was a dozen pale pink roses from a shop in a smalltown, nearby. The man I picked up, was the mayor of the next town over.

He sent roses on that date for 12 years. There was a small article in their paper, that week, about the kindness of strangers. I kept a copy for years, but he stated what a shame it is that there aren’t more kind strangers still out there. This happened over 20 years ago!

Daily Prompt: In Good Faith: A brother’s wish

Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us FAITH.

During a shift at my first job, I admitted a man to my unit that was in bad shape.  I discovered his admission was at the request of his Hospice,  for pain management. Being a new graduate nurse, you get crazy assignments and tough cases as learning experiences.

I completed the proper paperwork, gave the patient medications his doctor ordered, did what I could to help the family and make them comfortable. I gave the report to my charge nurse and then; started rounds on my other assigned patients.

The supervisor met me in the hallway to tell me of a status change for my new patient. When I returned to his room, I met a representative from his Hospice and he introduced me to the family gathered to say good-bye. My new patient’s diagnosis was End Stage Pancreatic Cancer and his last wishes were to be admitted to Room 434 at the Regional Hospital, where his wife passed away. She died, in 1984, in the same room where he laid dying now.

The Hospice nurse explained his wishes a little better. When his time was close, he requested to be admitted to the hospital for pain management. For about two hours, I played private-duty nurse to his family for whatever need may arise. I tenderly cared for their family member and provided pain management, as ordered, to keep him as comfortable as my capable hands could.

It did not take long for the signs that God was calling him home to show up. His respiration’s were becoming shallow and his heart rate slowing. When the end was upon us, our patient’s brother stepped forward and stated. ” I’d give anything, to see him sit up in bed and take one more breath.”

As in slow motion, my patient slowly, sat up in bed and drew in a long exacerbated breath, fell back on his pillow and was gone. Everyone just looked around the room in amazement. The Good Lord swept in and took him off to be with his wife.

As I watched the family leaving and listened to their stories of this man’s life, I imagined he and his wife walking, hand-in hand, down a beautiful street in heaven.

My faith has always been strong. When it falters just a little, I think back to the 39 years of patients I have cared for and the many unexplained things I have seen. I have no doubt in my mind, there is a God and he is with us always! This story is about my first spiritual encounter. I will never forget the feeling in that room. I left the room full of faith and longing. I get goosebumps, just thinking of that night.

Daily Prompt: Person of the Year

You’re asked to nominate someone for TIME’s Person of the Year. Who would it be, and why?

My nominee for Time’s Person of the Year would be my best friend, the love of my life, Mr. Barry L. Baynes. He does not feel he would deserve such an honor, but in my eyes he was the only person I would consider nominating. He has been my night in shining armor for several years.

Barry suffered a massive right-sided stroke in Dec. 2012. I almost lost him. His percerverence and determination not to let that stroke get him down, has given me strength and will to push through the health issues I have currently and really push myself into recovery and staying healthy.

Barry has been my love, my companion and my chauffer through what feels like millions of appointments with numerous doctors.

We started the year off running in January,  with a referral to a breast specialist at Emory over something suspicious on a mammogram. We were off to learn our way around another section of Emory University Hospital‘s clinics. (By now, Barry and I should have a wing dedicated to whatever we want.)

When Barry was not feeling well, he was there, never complaining always supportive. He gets stronger (from the stroke) daily. I can see the changes. He strength never faltered.

He has been my rock, he let me draw on his strength as I needed to. He was always positive. As doctors delivered news we really did not want to hear, Barry had a smile on his face. He tried to keep my mood elevated the best he could.

When I knew he wasn’t feeling his best, he tried to not let it show. He is always encouraging and loving.

All of the above are reasons, Mr. Barry L. Baynes, would be my nominee for Time’s Person of the Year. I could not think of anyone more deserving of this award.

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Jill and Barry Baynes

Daily Prompt: You’ve got the Power: The SPANX Law

You have the power to enact a single law. What would it be? This is a daily prompt available on the wordpress website. Kinda like an assignment in school. It is total fiction.
Photograhers, artists, and poets: Show us Rules.

 

spanx_powerpanty1

spanx_powerpanty1 (Photo credit: Vince_Lamb)

 

Sit in a parking lot at any busy store and watch as people walk in and out. There will be a few scarey sights while you sit. This is what leads me to this law. If people are not willing to cover themselves when out in public, either teach them what to wear when out or make it a legal requirement to wear appropriate under garments when they wear certain fashions in public.

 

When choosing to wear certain fashions of today or you decide to leave home in an outfit that wouldn’t fit you kid sister, SPANX should be a legal requirement under your clothing.

 

Whatever happened to having a little mystery in your life? I am sorry people, but it is not ok to wear a shirt and pair of pants, shorts, capris, or even overalls out of the house, if they do not meet where they should.

 

Muffin tops, belly rolls, back fat, and thunder thighs all have a place in our society. HIDDEN! I’m not a little girl and I leave home only when dressed appropriately.

 

Even you men out there that think it is OK to shine you muffin tops, back fat or belly rolls. SPANX has item’s for men, too!

 

http://www.spanx.com/home/

 

Jill and Barry Baynes

 

Daily Prompt: RSVP: “Princesses for the Day”

At a birthday party before

At a birthday party before

Plan the ultimate celebration for the person you’re closest to, and tell us about it. Where is it? Who’s there? What’s served? What happens?

The person I am closest to is of course my husband, Barry. Although Barry deserves a huge celebration, there 2 others in my life that could really use a day to let go and do something crazy. My sisters, Sandy and Kristie, could both use a day of leisure or a day og being “Princesses of the Weekend”.

We would start with packing our bags for the weekend, loading in the car, and checking into the local hotel at the winery near our home.

The day we check in, we will take trail rides and have supper by the lake,  picnic style. We’ll roast marshmallows over the fire and head back to the hotel just before dark.

After a nice long sleep, we slept late and missed breakfast. We had appointments for mani/pedi’s at 2pm. Facials at 3:30pm, then finish the spa day off with a full body massage. Supper served in our room at 7pm.

We rushed to our rooms to prepare for supper. We had pre-ordered the lobster dinners with house salads, with crème brûlée for dessert. I, personally, was starving.

Over dinner, the three of us talked about our lives and families and discussed where we would like to be in 10 years. Each of us verbalized being happy where we are and only had a few things we would change about our lives. Nothing big, just minor little nothings like being healthier, relaxing more,  and more time with our families.

All together, we wished we could work it out to spend more time together and have more time for ourselves when at home. Our families keep each of us terribly busy. Kristie is raising 2 boys and doing a great job. She is also job-hunting, since obtaining her teaching degree. In her spare time, she takes care of our father, he lives next door to her.

Sandy works more hours than humanly possible at her church, but I admire her dedication.When she gets home, she takes care of her home and disabled husband.

Then myself, I’m retired and stay at home. Our mother lives with Barry and I. She can no longer live alone. Barry had a massive stroke in 2011, There are days when he and I takes turns being the clearest head in the house. Barry has a few minor issues from the stroke that he is learning to manage. We research and study my disease daily. It is sad to go see a doctor and know more about the disease you have than the doctor does.  It is truly sad, but that is how rare diseases are.

Sandy, Kristie and I got along wonderfully,  We had a wonderful time and hated to leave. After lunch, we had to pack up and head home. We made a vow to do this again and spend more time together as we headed out.

I chose to write this post over a post about Barry and I. The celebration I would have with Barry would be entirely private and not to be shared with the WordPress world. I like to keep those moments between Barry and I.

Jill and Barry Baynes

Daily Prompt: Say Your Name: Jill

Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

Photographers, show us  YOU. See photo gallery after post! Thank you!!

Good, bad and ugly….this is me……I pester people taking bad pictures of them, so one has chosen to pay me back. He knows, payback will be coming. Of course, that I have changed a lot since getting sick. Please do not laugh too hard!

Not only do I take terrible pictures, but I have a group of nick names I have collected through the years: Jilligan(because I am clumsy…..Jilligan-Gilligan), silly Jilly, Jillene, Chicken Legs, and my old favorite: four-eyes.

I was named after absolutely no one and my parents didn’t think of middle names, when we were born. They wanted us to pick out our own. When we chose what we liked, we then went through the legal process to have our names changed. It was a learning experience and kinda cool!

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Jill and Barry Baynes

Daily Prompt: Switcheroo

If you could switch blogs with any blogger for a week, with whom would you switch and why?

I’d choose Gooseyanne’s blog. Goosey has a delightful but quirky sense of humor that keeps you coming back. Her writing switches from deeply political, to fine art, to witty satire, and tales of her life with her husband, George.

Not only will she have you giggling one minute, you’ll be crying with her next post. She is a talented painter as well. She spins wonderful tales of her travels. While exchanging email with her, I discovered she is an incredible person. Goosey is offline for a bit, but will be back soon.

If she and I switched blogs, I hope I could do her justice, I have no doubt she would have fun with mine!

There is one other blogger I would switch with. I have great respect for both of these ladies as writers. I’m afraid I do not know enough about writing to keep up with the other blogger. Not saying one blogger is better than the other, they are just two totally different blogs.

Daily Prompt: Too Big To Fail

Tell us about something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail (and tell us why you haven’t tried it yet).

Since brain surgery, I’ve had kind of list of things I’d like to do. I wouldn’t call it a bucket list, it is more of a list of the things I’d like to complete in my life time; or things I’ve started and never finished. There are a few items on my list that would qualify for a bucket list, but I am not in need of a bucket list. My list definitely needs to be “The Things I Procrastinated over and Want to Finish”.

Let’s get to the point. This daily prompt made me think of that list. Number One on my list is taking a ‘Zip-linetour. I love the outdoors,gardening, hiking, fishing, boating and all other fun outdoor activities are out of the realm of possibility since becoming disabled. Barry has adapted a few household items to help with my love of gardening and we have narrowed hiking trails down to the safe ones (I never go alone). 

The thing is, I long to be high in the air on a platform, basking in the warm sunshine. I want to reach up, grab hold of that little bar,  and slowly step off the platform. I want to feel the wind on my face and in my hair, I long to feel the sun warming my skin as I glide through the trees, I want to look down at the forest and imagine all the colors are a huge quilt laid out beneath me; I’d love to pass a bird in flight and say “Boo”! I want to bask in God‘s creation.

My health is keeping me from following my dream at the moment.  At the moment, I am not physically capable of handling a Zip-line tour. I’m dealing with breast cancer, which is turning into my latest stop on the Cowden Syndrome trail. I have a genetic disease that is slowly eating its way through my body. Putting off my zip-line tour this time is only the 7th time we have done so. Hopefully, this fall, I’ll be healthy enough to go for a little tour through the trees. Wish me luck!

English: A zip-line over the rainforest canopy...

English: A zip-line over the rainforest canopy. Taken January 4, 2005 in Costa Rica at the Arenal Paraiso Hotel’s zip-line course. This course requires self-braking using a special purpose-built reinforced leather glove Photo taken by Ken Haufle. Category:Zip-line (Photo credit: Wikipedia)