Category Archives: Life as we know it

Our August

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  • My dad was on Hospice Care and not doing well. He had a nasty cold and with me on chemotherapy, I could not go see him. My immune system was too low.
  • The Eighth of August was the start of my nightmare month. While attempting to hook the computer to the television, Barry past out cold, hit his head on the front door and appeared to have a seizure.  I could not get 911 fast enough. He was admitted from the ER with an arrhythmia.
  • Two mornings later, I received a call from Barry letting me know they had moved him to ICU during the night and were now planning to transfer him to another hospital.  No hospital employee ever contacted me.
  • Once at the other hospital, he was admitted to their Cardiac Care Unit for close observation.
  • Within  2 days. he was having a pacemaker put in.
  • At my chemo treatment, it was discovered that I had a blood clot in axillary vein under my right arm. When I went in for my injection after chemo, the doctor felt I needed to go to the ER for evaluation. I was short of breath and had chest pain. At least I got to go to the ER at the hospital Barry was in. I was closer to him, although I couldn’t see him before or immediately after the pacemaker surgery. Our Pastor was the perfect substitute. He is such a gracious man.
  •  As it turned out, I had pneumonia, thank goodness the blood clot had not moved to my lungs.They wanted to admit me, but I wanted to be with Barry.
  • A fever, 103, kept me home for a few days
  • He was in bad shape and needed immediate heart surgery
  • I could not get there fast enough. I spent the night before with him.
  • I found out my dad passed away three hours before Barry’s surgery.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts.
  • I was driven home, after we saw Barry was stable, by my pastor that night. My fever had popped it’s ugly head up again.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts. It stayed with me for the next week.
  • Someone from the church, Jason W.  and our nephew, Derrek checked on Barry for me while I was out of commission. I was actually chewing on the front door wanting to get to the hospital.
  • Once my fever got out the door, I spent the next 4 days at the hospital and ended up being able to take my sweetheart home with me. 20 days after being admitted. I found out the surgery they did was a mercy surgery. Barry was close to death and almost died during the surgery.
  • I spent the weekend attending the funeral for my dad.
  • On the way home from the hospital, We stopped for gas. We have a diesel Jeep. The station we stopped at was making renovations and still had a diesel sticker on a now unleaded pump. Needless to say, I filled the Jeep with unleaded gas. We were stranded for 4 hours until a wrecker arrived. We arrived home at 11pm.

Is that enough to deal with or do you want more? This isn’t all. My poor pup was home taking care of mom and the house.

We would like to thank everyone that helped make it through this bad, bad month! We love you all!

Through the Grace of our Heavenly Father, we are both alive and kicking. Maybe a little grayer and a I know a lot tired. We are here! Thank you, Dear Lord!

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Daily Prompt: On the Road

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If you could pause real life and spend some time living with a family If anywhere in the world, where would you go?

New Mexico Beach, Florida

Not only does it sound like the perfect vacation spot for people my age, but it is close to home and we can drive. I like places close enough to drive. They plan activities through the year; so you never miss a holiday or season. They constantly remind you. It sounds like a little slice of heaven.

We would love to stay with a couple similiar to us. They would have to let our puppy visitbwith us. That understands our limitations and are willing to slow life down for a bit. I just want to sit on the beach and listen to crashing waves. Of course, a bathroom closeby would need to be handy. We want time alone to be us. Hopefully, there is a church closeby to enjoy services while we are visiting,

Barry and I have been unable to vacation for quite some time. He is busy planning our Christmas get away. I can’t wait. We might stay forever. Getting out and away from home sounds like amn impossibility at the moment, but we can make it happen. Take one day at a time and we will get there. Christmas at the beach. Do I pack a tree?

Good People still Exist

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I recently witnessed a beautiful selfless act. I was talking to a future grandmother, with an unwed daughter not yet out of school.

A gentleman walked up and asked ” May I intrude for a moment?” 

We said “of course”.

He leaned over and whispered something into my friends ear, then hugged her neck before placing something in her hand.

Once he was gone, my friend handed me an envelope and told me to “look inside”.  I was holding an envelope with a large sum of money inside.

He had stated to her to “use this to help your babies”.

There are still “good people” out there.

Closing The Place Down

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I have always heard this phrase used when you are the last person the leave a restaurant or bar, until today. It now fits another experience I survived.

As an American, I am ashamed of certain businesses locally and in the Metro Atlanta Area. The American Disability Act ( or whatever ADA stands for ) provides for bathroom facilities to allow a person with a disability freedom to keep their freedom, independence and individuality.

As a person with a disability, I have encountered numerous mechnical issues, people using the facilities that do not need them (while a handicapped person waits); waiting is not the issue, just to clear that issue up. Other facilities have been down-right nasty, while several have been dangerous. My big pet peeve is a door that doesn’t lock. I like privacy on a public toilet, if I have to use one. I will never understand a oerson’s urge to wipe nastiness on a wall or not cleaning up a spot on the floor if you miss.

Today was the day of all days! I was in a handicap toilet, I reached for the bar to get up. As I pulled on the rail, it came off the wall causing me to fall to the nasty floor (in a doctor’s office of all places). Next came the wall seperating my stall from the one next to it; leading to the domino effect with me stuck between the wall and the toilet. Would we like to discuss loose screws?

As the title states, I closed the place down.

I’m going on a blogation

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For those faithful followers, please don’t give up on me. My life needs my full attention for the time being. Barry is recovering well,  physically and mentally,  but his recovery is my number one priority at the moment. I will do my best to keep at least one post a week going. Have a great fall. Hope to be writing faithfully again soon!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! God bless you all! Please email me anytime at

tworightsattemptingtomakealeft@gmail.com.

I love email.

Thanks! Jill B.

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Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve Had a Few

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What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us TURNING POINT.

If I had to choose my biggest regret would be my first marriage. When we met, I was head-over-hills in love and could not see a future as anything other than his wife.

I gave up going away to college to stay close to home and be near the man that had swept me off my feet. I even ignored my family to put him ahead of everything else. I left my younger sister and father out in the cold to focus on being a girlfriend and eventually his wife. I should have been around for the two of them, when mom packed up and took off.I missed that time with both of them. Time I can never get back

On the other hand, I was there for my older sister to help when she had the babies. I started a career I love. I am the woman I am toiday, because of the experiences I went through with my ex-husband. I love doing what I do today, because of him. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have been in the area to meet Barry after the divorce. In a sense, my ex lead me to my soul-mate.

I don’t think it is supposed to work that way. Regrets can be good things. They can lead you to a future you were not expecting or they can fill you with longing to change things that are no longer possibke to change.

In my book, don’t look back. Always keep your eyes forward and enjoy your life, You cannot change the past, why regret it?

That dreadful place called the hospital, It was so hard to leave him there

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Sitting here, in no way can this place  be called fun. I am beginning to understand why people do not like hospitals. Yes, they are places where the sick or injured come to be healed. Hospitals are meant to be full of joy at the birth of a child,  or extremely sad watching a loved one in pain.

Painful things happen in hospitals. A lot of people do not how what or how their bodies work making things painful and scary. Some people experience trauma or have bad memories or cannot handle the emotions that hospitals bring out in you. Others just do not like pain.

The one I am sitting with loves being at home, in his recliner, his wife in her chair next to him and the dog sitting at his feet. Water glass next to him on the table, watching a crazy comedy on the television. He has his cute little quirky sense of humor. I never know what to expect out of his mouth. He even talks for the dog! It is so funny! She just turns her head side to side looking at him like he is nuts.

 

They want me to place him in a long-term care hospital. I do not feel that is where he needs to be, but I’m not a doctor. In my opinion, that will only make him worse. He needs some rehab. I can see a rehab center.

In the two days I have been with him, he has perked up.  Getting in and out of bed on his own (even when the staff did not want him too) He’s getting adventurous, I just hope he does not hurt himself. I love him so much it hurts. The thought of being without Barry, well, it kills me. We aren’t at the age that this kind of thing is expected. I just feel so very lost.

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Absolute Worst Two Weeks Of My Life

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The past five years were the beginning of our on-going nightmare. It has been one serious medical issue after another.

Two weeks ago, Barry was hooking the computer to the television for us to stream the evening service. Barry suddenly starts to fall straight backwards. I called out to him several times, without response. Barry takes a blood thinner, so he truly did not need a lump on his head.

When his head hit the wooden ledge on the front door, he started convulsing. He ended up on his right side, I checked him for injuries, covered him up with a blanket and got a pillow. After around three minutes, he started coming around. He was quite confused and wanting to know what happened. By this time, I had gotten mom and 911 had been called. They were incredibly slow. Apparently, the county EMS was hopping all night.

Once in the Emergency Room, they got things going. There was something going on with his heart. He had a strange arrhythmia that the hospital felt needed more attention, so he was admitted.

The next night, there was another episode opting a move to the ICU for better observation. I found out about the transfer when Barry called the next morning to say he was being trasferred to Saint Joseph’s Hospital within the next hour.

I got ready and headed to Atlanta, as quickly as I could. My sweetheart does not like hospitals and I knew he would not want to be alone. I stayed with Barry for two nights.

Then I had a chemo treatment and on Saturday, the injection to boost my white blood cells. The day of my chemo treatment, they discovered a blood clot under my right arm. I started the injections they ordered before chemo. The next day my right arm was acting up, so I requested to see the infusion center fellow doctor. Since starting the injections, shortness of breath occurred everytime I preformed a task or stood up to walk. I was concerned the clot had moved to my lung.

I was sent straight to the Emergency Room for evaluation. We chose to go to the hospital Barry was in. He was already downstairs having a pacemaker put in. Due to my injection, I was unable to see Barry before the procedure.

Our wonderful pastor made it just in time. Barry was thrilled to see him coming. While I was being evaluated, my sister went to check on Barry and let him know what was going on. He was worried. I tried to convince him I was fine, but do men ever really hear what their wives say?

I was released with a diagnosis of pneumonia. More drugs to take. Gotta love it! Kristie and I almost ran to his room. Kristie needed to get on the road soon. Not only does she have a husband and two boys, she had taken the role of chief caregiver to our father. Barry wanted me to stay, but I was running a fever. He had more test scheduled for the next day, he’d never know I was there or not.

We headed home and packed a bag. I was ready for the next day. My nephew was picking me up to drop me at the hospital for a few days. I wore a mask when I had the fever, and removed it when I did not. We met Barry’s surgeon that morning. They were scheduling his surgery for morning. During the night, I recieved a call that my father had passed away. After surgery, I would not be able to see him. He would be moved to CVICU and I would not be able to see him freely. His doctor told me to go home and come back when he is stable.

Barry had an abcess in his heart and the wall of his heart was erroding. They had to re-build a section of the heart to be able to get a valve in and they were unable to use the mechanical valve. A pig valve was placed. He has been in ICU for over 6 days and today, they finally got him off the venilator. He was up in a chair last time I spoke to the nurse. Such a huge improvement since last week. I was terrified of loosing him. I lost my father.

My blog post my be scattered, but I will get back to normal soon. Missed you all!

Jill