Category Archives: Maggie May, our treasured family pet

I Wanna Run Away!

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Please, someone tell me when it is okay to run away. I’m not sure how much more I can take before I crack. 

I live the “Life of Riley“. Honestly, I not sure what that means. Was it a TV show? Radio show? Cartoon? I’m going to look it up. The situations I’ve heard it used in usually involved someone having it made; not in need of anything; someone spoiled rotten. All of the above, at times, can describe my life.

I live in a beautiful home with the perfect husband and family pets. We have one boxer and one fish. One step-son that keeps his distance.

My husband and I are raising my mother. It can be a challenge at times. But we make it.

We are far from well off or rich, but we are comfy. A lot of people today can’t say that. It really hurts Barry and I to see others struggle. We help when we can, but keeping up with medical bills will eat you alive. 

Since 2009, Barry and I have run from doctor to doctor trying to figure my illness out. It is starting to feel like a waste of time. Every time I see a physician, something else is wrong.

Is this a never-ending battle? Is all the running around doing a bit of good? I guess I’m a little tired of being sick. I feel like my life is falling apart and I’m not sure what to do.

That doctor, last week, really threw me for a loop. Just uttering those 2 little words has my head in the toilet.

It was like the day the doctor told me about the brain tumor. “Oh by the way, you have a brain tumor.” That is how he told me. He added a few other things to it, but that was enough to shatter my world. My head was in a spin then, and it is spinning like a top now.

I’m not going to do anything stupid. God has kept me around for s reason. I have too much life left to live to do anything stupid, I’m just trying to write this down to see if it will shake me out of this funk.

I should be sleeping . Big birthday party tomorrow. Going to be a long day, I need my rest. Barry is snoring in the chair next to me as I type. Maggie is snoring on the couch. Maybe I should follow suit and go to sleep. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I’m trying to turn mine around. Be sweet!

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Daily Prompt: Ghostwriter

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If you could have any author –living or dead – write your biography, who would you choose?

Jeff Foxworthy

As a fellow Georgian and comedian, if anyone could write my autobiography, it would be him. He would see and instantly connect with my inner redneck and the words would flow onto his computer screen.

Disability aside, I was born in Winder, Georgia and I love everything redneck. The sad thing is, I know how or have done most of those redneck things I am referring too.

I will say, I have NEVER, nor do I ever plan to try chewing tobacco. I’ll admit I have a few cousins that chew daily!

I even participated in the redneck games in Middle Georgia. So, Jeff Foxworthy would be my choice. He could also make the not so funny parts humorous.

Daily Prompt: VIP

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Who’s the most important person in your life — and how would your day-to-day existence be different without them?

Barry, my husband, is the most important person in my life. Unfortunately, at age 47, I have found myself in need of a caregiver.

Barry, not only has the role of the love of my life, but he is legally considered my caregiver. It kills me that my body has done this so early in our marriage, but you deal with what life hands you and take things one day at a time.

The good Lord has his plan for each of us, it is not our place to argue the plan. As a previous teacher I had would say; “you know a plan exists, whether you know the content or not, you work, girl, work it!”

Barry is my helping hand in many daily activities and my own personal engineer. I hold Barry to get out of the tub, but I can get in. He has made sure I have all the proper rails and no-slip gadgets I need around the house.

He treats me like a normal human being. He doesn’t treat me like a baby. I love my mother, but she thinks I’m 10 years old when she helps with anything. I’m glad she is here, because I don’t like being home alone.

I fell once in the garage, while home alone, I just happened to be on the phone when it happened. Help was as phone call away. Thank the Good Lord above. I fell into a box of framed pictures, shattered glass and broken frames all around. Terrified, I froze until help arrived.

To be honest with you, I cannot imagine life without Barry. You know, I can’t even get a bra on straight without him. Trust me, I’ve tried, you can find yourself in some serious pickles, trying that alone with one hand. Wheewww…..I could tell you some stories. I refuse to start wearing those pull-on things. They are too hot.

Without Barry, I would need someone to do any driving further than 20 miles away. Yes, mom lives with me, but I refuse to get in a car with her driving. My heart can’t take it.

I’d need someone to manage the yard work, pay the bills, go to the grocery store and make sure I take my medication correctly. There are days, that my brain tumor rules, and it is close to impossible to even get out of bed. On those days, I’d need someone to cook, make sure I eat and clean up.

I cannot do laundry any longer, so that is another thing I’d need help with. Someone would have to walk and feed the dog as well. I can’t leave the fish out, but I believe I could manage the fish food and watering the plants.

In December of 2011, Barry had a massive stroke and I almost lost him. The doctors actually tried to prepare me for the fact he would not make it through the night. Losing him, I think would have killed me. I hate to sound selfish, but God wasn’t finished with him yet. He knew we needed each other.

To date, other than a few deficits, Barry whipped that stroke in the butt and is back to helping me whip this brain tumors butt. We work together, to make sure everything gets done; with mom quietly tagging along. We all take care of each other and it works.

To answer this prompt, I know everything Barry does for me daily and I do not want to even think about my day-to-day existence without him.

Life would be hard and I’d have to let too many strangers into very personal parts of my life.

Yes, mom could help more, but she isn’t as strong as she used to be and I do not want to be the cause of her getting hurt.

Bear bear says, Yeah!

Bear bear says, Yeah!

Our 200th post, There is a link to the page, but I also put the post below to avoid confusion

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 Click the link for our 200th post:

https://gegebearbear.wordpress.com/200th-post-can-you-believe-it/

The 200th post is below, but I’m gonna leave the page up too. I have removed any mention of a certain person who shall remain nameless. Enough said.

teddybearlineteddybearline

We thought this post required something special. I find it difficult to believe we’ve been blogging since September 8, 2012! We have been on a journey since that date, but we are holding on strong and closer than ever.

This blog wasn’t our idea, but we have thoroughly enjoyed compiling information for post together. It truly has been therapeutic for both of us. Who would have thought that a counselor, specializing in neurological issues, would know what they were talking about? Maybe that was what we were paying them for? At least our insurance was…..

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We have done so well. Blogging has brought new friends into our lives and seen a few leave. The good seeds continue to take root as the friendships flourish. Others are like annual flowers, they are incredible at first then the heat of the sun fades their colors. Then you pull the annuals and throw them out to put new color in your garden. It is a shame all flowers and friendships cannot be timeless.  Enough said on the matter.

Barry and I continue to enjoy each blogger we have met on WordPress and stay sorrowful over those that did not work out. We have met some incredible people, who have taught us both a lot. Papazilla actually got me to debate a topic in writing, which is something I avoid like. I do not speak well, so there are certain things I do not freely take part in.

I have a rare genetic disorder. I felt so alone dealing with my illness at times, then my friends and family remind me I am not alone. The internet is an amazing tool to use to connect with people you may not meet normally. Barry is wonderful and my best choice to discuss my disease with. Thanks to everyone for being wonderful!

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BrainTumorThursday on Twitter has become a weekly part of my life. When I can take part, I do. When I can’t, I make sure one of my posts, about a brain tumor issue, is on the page. There is such a huge need for funding for research. Brain Tumors kill too many people yearly. I’m including a link to a national foundation for when you would like more information.

Twitter link:

http://paper.li/TumorWarrior/1343039984

teddybearline

http://www.abta.org/about-us/

http://www.sbtf.org/home.html

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Two groups of hardworking people working to stop the pain of brain tumors. Please check them out. Barry and I take part regularly in the SBTF run/walk to raise money in Atlanta. We enjoy the get together. We also take part in a monthly support group for brain tumor patients. Very helpful group, when figuring life out after a brain tumor.

teddybearline

http://www.emoryhealthcare.org

I’m including the website for the support group below, check them out. Very enjoyable group.

http://www.neurosurgery.emory.edu/BTSG/index.htm

Tons of extremely hardworking people, check them out!

Check out #BrainTumorThursday on Twitter. Just do a search. Do not forget the hash tag.

teddybearline

Other health issues in constant need of funding are mini-strokes and strokes. As a nurse, I know what to look for and what they look like when occurring. Many people have health issues happen today and are clueless. They have no idea what is happening or whether to consider it an emergency or not. It is truly sad in my eyes that we are not more educated about our bodies and how we should respond to them when they scream at you,

 ‘HEY, I NEED ATTENTION!’

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I’m so glad I was home with Barry when his stroke occurred. He’s an extremely healthy, highly intelligent man. He did not have a clue or remember anything past us getting out of bed that morning. If he had been home alone, he would not be with us at the moment. God is good and decided he wasn’t finished with Barry. He helped me get the right people on to Barry, then the doctors and hospitals took over. New technology saved Barry’s life. Emory University Hospital had Barry in the procedure room before I made it to the hospital. I thank the Good Lord above for guiding the doctors in the proper care Barry needed. Although, his stroke continued once the clot was out of the picture, Barry is alive and thriving.

teddybearline

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/#mainContent

http://www.strokeassociation.org/STROKEORG/

http://www.stroke.org/site/PageNavigator/HOME

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Since starting our blog, our lives are finally calming down. My illness is settling into a routine of check-ups and Barry is getting stronger each day. Mom is even settling into our routine(Surprise, surprise)

Barry and I are about to embark on a new voyage in our lives. When he retires, we will have time to run around and do what we want. Travel; be lazy;  work in the yard; go to church; visit family; who knows, maybe we will see a movie at the theater…..I have a huge list of ideas, I just have to talk Barry into it. Barry will have a tough time adjusting to staying home. He has driven downtown(Atlanta) to work for over 30 years, sleeping past 6am is already a challenge for him on the weekends. After 9 years of marriage, I can say one thing about Barry L. Baynes. The sweet man despises change!

teddybearline

If you do not know CPR, LEARN IT! You may need it some day!

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Round Four Finale

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MM900295156Biopsy results are NEGATIVE! NO cancer. They still want me to have an MRI, because they do not have a solution for the problem. But no cancer!!!!!!!Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Saw endocrinologist today about thyroid scan. It was clear, but there is a lymph node she wants to follow. Which means she wants to schedule a thyroid scan! I hate the thought of another thyroid scan. You have to put your system into hypothyroidism before the test.

Last time, they were out of the injection to do this for you and I had to quit taking my medication for 3 weeks before my body converted to hypothyroidism. I was so weak, I could not walk. I was having to use my wheelchair to get around everywhere.

But I’ll do what I need to do to make sure I stay cancer-free. I may not be happy, but I’ll do it. I’m hoping Thyrogen is available and taken care of in 2 days.

Get results of the MRI on my left knee, next Tuesday. I have the feeling surgery is around the corner. But again, I’ll do what I have to do to stay healthy.

I can’t wait to get back to my full exercise routine. I miss it! Gonna light a fire under Barry’s fanny to get him moving with me. We may even get Maggie in on it!

Well, I’m putting this tablet down for the time being. We have to run an errand. Round 5 starts next week, with God leading the way. I hate to think where I’d be without the good Lord guiding us through this mess. Still taking things one day at a time. Thanks for your comments and support.

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Daily Prompt: A Plot of Earth

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You’re given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what you please. What’s the plan?

We’ve done the big house thing, so to start…We’d have a modest handicapped accessible home-built, near the back of the property. Single level of course, but with all the technology available to make life easy around the house for a disabled person. One room would be set aside for a gym. I need a place to work out, instead of my dining room. There has to be huge porches with swings across the front and back of the house. One end of each porch would be screened in. I love to sit and enjoy the outdoor sounds.

Second, we’d have a small guest house built behind our house for my mom. She can design and pick out what she wants. She needs to include a guest room for company.

Next would come the raised garden, close to the house with benches everywhere. It would have a rose-covered arbor at the entrance with every plant possible to attract butterflies and birds by the dozen.

A covered patio with a table or other area to relax and get out of the rain. Somewhere close by, there would be a small garden shed to store all my tools and other essentials. I’d have to have some form of water feature in the garden. It would be great to have a fountain in the center of the garden. The birds and butterflies would love that!

To one side of the house would be Barry‘s garage sanctuary. He can work on cars, build things and do whatever he wants in his man cave. That would be his place to design and setup.

I can’t forget about our treasured pets. We’d have to have an area of the yard fenced in and a state of the art doggie-door for Miss Maggie to go in and out on her own. The door needs to lock the minute Mags is back in the house.

Then there is Shotgun, our Japanese Fighting Fish. He will need a larger tank somewhere near the kitchen. We can decorate it like the bottom of the ocean, but I need to be able to handle it to clean and change the water. Shotgun loves hiding in the roots of my plant in the aquarium.

The plot of earth would be full of big shade trees and a long drive way. I’d need to ride by bicycle to the mailbox. Along with the garden, the house would be surrounded by flowers and shrubs. Something would be blooming year round.

Daily Prompt: Nightmares

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Describe the last nightmare you remember having. What do you think it meant?

Let me see, my most recent nightmare involves myself, my husband, mother, and our dog. Barry and I designed and helped build the home we now live in. I actually had the pleasure of putting the first nail in the house. I am honestly surprised the house is still standing.

Back to the nightmare….

Well, we had a long day of yard work and were sitting down to eat supper. Maggie, our adorable boxer, was asleep on the couch. Poor girl, exhausted from playing outside, while we worked.

Suddenly there was a large crash upstairs and then it sounded like footsteps on the stairs. Barry stood to check the noise out. As he got near the stairs, the noise stopped, mom and I heard a loud gasp from Barry. As we rounded the corner to the staircase, we both stopped in our tracks.

Coming down the stairs was a floating rocking chair with a little girl sitting in it rocking and singing, ‘You are my Sunshine’. All the commotion woke Maggie up and I realized she was at my feet when I heard a low growl. Barry, Mom and I all started backing up, as the rocking chair floated closer and passed us. Maggie started to bark, while after the chair.

The chair floated through the kitchen, into the dining room and then the living room and headed back to the stairs. The child continuously singing the same song. We all looked at each other, befuddled over what just happened.

No one volunteered to go upstairs to check things out. We went back to the table and finished eating. We could here what sounded like a rocker on the floor above us and occasionally a child singing. Maggie was back on the couch sound asleep.

I haven’t got a clue where this dream came from. Mom had told me that she thought she saw a floating rocking chair when she was having a bad day and we had spicy food for supper, I went to sleep with a stomach ache. Those are the only reason I can think of for such craziness in my dreams. Of course, all the above mixed with my night medication, could explain it all.