Category Archives: the “New” Mom

Just Write: Raising Mom/ written to post next week, it couldn’t wait! Forgive me please

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my momma

my momma

Mom is struggling.
She regrets so much in life
She is worried about her husband, but the home wasn’t safe for either of them to live.
Sleep with a gun on your bedside table, not feeling comfortable in your home or around your husband’s family.
She doesn’t understand why her problem started.
Bipolar Disease and Lewy Body Dementia?
I’m not sick, where did this come from?
The doctors have spoken with her, but her brain can no longer fully understand.
Feels like the old her is slipping away.
Fighting her independence, fear slipping in.
The unknown is scary.
Accepting her daughters and son-in-laws as caregivers and protectors.
Barry and I are helpful and supportive, she doesn’tbknow how to accept assistance or be humble when needed,
This is not the way it should go.
She dreads becoming a burden, even though everyone tells her she isn’t, We also love her dearly.
She feels like nothing is wrong, until the terror sets in at night.
Hallucinations and living out dreams with family long gone.
Should be scary, but she enjoys seeing her visitors.
Mom hates medication, but it is working beautifully. Big improvementd, no more driving.
She’ll adapt, she didn’t need to drive anyway. She used to be a wee-bit scary behind the wheel
Life with mom, our big adventure.

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http://extraordinary-ordinary.net/2011/09/10/just-
write/

Writing Through Cancer Daily Prompt for the week of May 12, 2013: “Mommy, It’s Your Happy Day”

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Mommy, it’s your Happy day!

I plan to take this a different way. Motherhood is a previous gift from God. Anyone lucky enough to be blessed with such a privilege, should cherish every moment they are given. Growing up, the only things I wanted to do was fall in love and have a houseful of children. My first husband and I tried for years. We both suffered through 5 miscarriages and a physician told that us if we wanted children, we needed different spouses. Fortunately, our inability to have children was not the reason our marriage failed.

With a pregnancy, you start making plans, look forward to the future and then you realize the pregnancy is failing. It breaks your heart. After the fifth miscarriage, your heart feels like a dried up lump of clay. There is no way to describe the agony your body goes through mentally and physically. A miscarriage is a horrible thing to live through. Accepting that it doesn’t seem to be in the Good Lord‘s plan for you to become a mother or father is intense, but as Christians our pregnancies are in the hands of the Lord.  Our lives are part of God’s plan. He has a plan for us all. It is not our place to question that plan. Even though it is in the Lord’s Plan, you still go through a period of regret and doubting. It is not easy to hand everything over to the Lord without some grieving. You get past the emotions and find the strength to give it over to God and get on with your life. You do a lot of praying. Asking for Grace and Strength to get through the misery. You do get through it!  I did it five times and lived. So did my ex-husband. He has remarried and has a son. 

I , also, have remarried. I managed to find my place in this world. I met my soul mate in 2001. We were married three years later. I love him more everyday. I don’t know what I would do without him. He makes me want to be a better person. We have both done things that neither of us ever thought we would do. I made an attempt at being a step-mother ( I gave up when my step-son made it clear, he wanted nothing to do with me). Barry is learning to love my mother.

Her health was failing and she did not need to be living in the situation she was, so we packed her up and moved her in with us. The situation is actually working.  I did not think it would. As mom ages, she is learning the art of compromise. It has tickled her pink, to have Barry start calling her “Mom“.

Barry put’s on a Mother’s Day show every year. He says “I was a wonderful mother. ” When Barry and I married, we discussed children. He asked if I was okay with not having a child. He said he was ready to focus on home and retiring. I was good with that. Our health issues haven’t allowed us to do everything we wanted, but we still enjoy each and everyday. We now have a beloved family pet boxer, named Maggie. She thinks she is human. In a sense, I’m mothering our family pooch.

Barry’s mom passed away a few months before he proposed. I was lucky enough to spend a little time with her. She was a sweet, wonderful woman. I know where her son gets it from.We did agree on one thing. We started to make the same statement at the same time once. That statement was, “He sure does have the best-looking legs around!” She turned and looked at me oddly and said, “I knew I liked you!” When Barry got in the car to find us giggling, he wanted to know if he should be worried.  His mom looked at me and smiled. We didn’t say a word. Barry started the car and headed to the restaurant. 

My mom is a character. I told Barry stories before he met her. He later told me it found my stories hard to believe, until mom started letting the true Betty out in front of him. Mom is a doll and a beautiful woman. She is the perfect work the room character. As long as things are going her way, she is fine. I love her to pieces and look like I could be her twin. I will do anything in the world for her, when I can. Mom living with us has been great. I’m getting to know mom better than I ever have.

Her health is declining and I am trying to help her deal with or understand the changes her body is going through. She is actually listening to me and learning about her illness. Telling my mother the truth about things she does Isn’t easy. I’m getting better at it and she is taking it better.  She has not taken my illness well. I’ve had to ask her to change certain behaviors to help me deal with my health. 

My sister’s and I got our families together and took her out for lunch on Mother’s Day. Barry and I treated her to a new haircut. She really looks great. Sandy has taken her on a trip to North Carolina; to see her grandson graduate from college.I hope she is enjoying herself. She deserve’ it. She is my mom’s.

my momma

my momma

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Mom Will Be Home Sunday-sang to tune of “Nothing could be finer”

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MOM WILL BE HOME SUNDAY

Nothing could be finer,

Than to have Mom in North Carolina,

In the morn…..rning…………..

There is nothing greater,

cuz she’ll be gone till three days later in the night,

the next day will be alright…………

cuz she’ll sleep till two days later with her cat…..

we do not mean to sound displeased,

cuz the house has been ours for three wonderful days and nights….

and we managed to keep the cat and dog aliveeeeeeeee……….

*************************************************

I’m happy she is going out-of-town to have some fun, but I am even more thrilled, to have Barry and the house to myself. Am I being awful? I’m loving the time with alone with Barry, but I developed a little fever and running back and forth to doctor’s offices more than usual. They are trying to figure out where the temperature is coming from. It appears that I have an infection in the surgical incision under my arm and 102° temp is coming from. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck(a very large truck). On antibiotics and am seeing surgeon at lunch tomorrow.Wish me luck!

I felt so lost…

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I felt so lost yesterday, this morning I realized I stayed so busy yesterday, that I never wrote a post. My father had a rough Sunday night. We received a call at 9AM from a friend of Pop’s. He had found Pop unconscious in the floor of his bedroom. He called 911 and Pop was taken to Athens to the hospital. Sandy was on the way when Kristie called. She was working and could not leave. Barry, Mom, and I got dressed and headed to the hospital.  By the time we got there, he was being admitted to the hospital.  Sandy stayed a few minutes longer, then had to leave to do her bus route. She could not find a substitute for the afternoon route.

We stayed until Kristie and the boys arrived. Pop was comfortable in his room. Since he had fallen several times, the nursing staff but an alarm on the bed. Pop could not get up without someone hearing an alarm. This made us feel safe to leave him alone for the night. They said he would be discharged the next day. Between Libor and us, someone could pick him up and settled at home before Kristie was home from work.

Pop has a implanted defibrillator. It went off on the 29th of April. He had a heart attack and that defibrillator saved his life. The cardiologist added a new drug that Pop feeling nervous and not good at all. He could not sleep for anything. He gradually felt worse every day on the new drug. We called the doctor’s office for assistance. They did not believe it was the new medicine and stated they would take a good look at him in the office st his appointment. He was scheduled to be in there in 2 days. He was due to see the cardiologist tomorrow. I guess he could not wait.

God leads and guides our daily activities. God must be telling Pop  it is not his time yet. He’s got to hang out with us a while longer. He ready to help us get his affairs in order. Barry and I will be going up to help him set things up this weekend. We’ll have to work things out for healthcare POA’s and type his will up for him. Sandy will have to sign everything when she gets home. She and mom are attending my Nephew, Daniel’s college graduation this weekend. Mom is really looking forward to it. I hope they have a great time.

Life will eventually slow down. My second surgery has been scheduled for May 28th. Looks like my summer will Will be spent healing. YoU’ll still have decisions to make after the surgery. Radiation and chemotherapy are still a big unknown in my life.

Saw my neurologist this morning. He wants me to have a few health issues checked out and deal with the chemotherapy before he changes anything. So I feel kinda lost or on hold until a few issues are settled.I’m digging deep to pull my patience out and focusing on my health and diet while at home.trying recipes that are results to chew and swallow. My body is getting to the point that it has a little trouble doing those things lately.God is guiding me with this issue. I pray and ask for guidance and patience daily. I have figured out it is not my place to ask God why I am in this shape any longer. It is in his plan and I am in his hands. Not going to Strasbourg anything…..at least I’m going to give it my best shot at trying not to stress. God will guide me!

Mother: Part 2

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I was heartbroken to realize mom was crying this afternoon. It breaks my heart to see her cry. She gets confused when she cries.

When I sat her down to talk, I apologized for not realizing she wasn’t feeling her best and asked what the problem was. Mom proceeded to tell me she was upset with herself and didn’t know what to do.

Do to health reasons, mom has recently had to give up driving and gave her car to my youngest sister. If she’s not driving, why carry the cost of a car. Well, this afternoon, when mom went out to gather her tools for gardening and realized she did not have everything she needed, life hit her in the face.

When the thought of her inability to drive hit her, she lost it. She says it felt like her independence was flying out the door. She said she understood and knew it was time, but it would take her some time to get used to the feeling. 

She wanted to go to Wal-mart and realized she could not drive. She said it hit hard and she started crying. When she asked me where she could plant her plants in the sun, I argued with her for asking because I was almost asleep.

Barry helped me outside to go through the gardening spots with mom. We spent an hour outside helping her decide where she needs to plant certain things. Just that hour of time outside with her eased the painful thoughts she was having. Talking it out helped. We talked as we looked for garden spots, she felt better when we all decided it was time to eat.

She is thrilled that, my sister Sandy, is taking her to my nephew, Daniel’s college graduation, next weekend. She was so excited when she told me she was going. Like a big kid going to Six Flags. She got her hair cut, so she’s looking great! Mom likes to dress up and go places. She cleans up well.

I need to check to make sure all of her medications are packed and ready to go. I need to get copies of everything for Sandy. I want her to be set to have a good time. She deserves it.

It is so close to Mother’s Day! I don’t like to see mom upset. Barry and I both are glad Sandy is taking her on this trip. It will do her spirits some good.

Kristie and her family, Barry and I, and now I guess I’ll ask Sandy and Dennis, are taking mom to lunch at the Chinese Buffet in Snellville after church on Sunday. That will perk her up to. She needs to be showered with attention at times. We all love you very much, Mom!

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MOTHER: Part 1

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Mother’s Day

This article is about a holiday celebrating mothers and motherhood.  For other uses, see Mother’s Day (disambiguation).

Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May. It complements Father’s Day, a similar celebration honoring fathers.

The celebration of Mother’s Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration.[1][2][3][4] Despite this, in some countries Mother’s Day has become synonymous with these older traditions.[5]

Founding

Main article: Mother’s Day (U.S.)

The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. She then began a campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s. Jarvis’ holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world. In this tradition, each person offers a gift, card, or remembrance toward their mothers, grandmothers, and/ or maternal figure on mother’s day.

Various observances honouring mothers existed in America during the 1870s and the 1880s, but these never had resonance beyond the local level.[6] Jarvis never mentioned Julia Ward Howe‘s attempts in the 1870s to set up a “Mother’s Day for Peace”, nor any connection to the Protestant school celebrations that included “Children’s Day” among others. Neither did she mention the traditional festival of Mothering Sunday, but always said that the creation was hers alone.[7] For more information on previous attempts, see the “United States” section in this article.

Spelling

In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases “second Sunday in May” and “Mother’s Day”, and created the Mother’s Day International Association.[8] She specifically noted that “Mother’s” should “be a singular possessive, for each family to honour their mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world.”[9] This is also the spelling used by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in the law making official the holiday in the United States, by the U.S. Congress in relevant bills,[10][11] and by various U.S. presidents in their proclamations about Mother’s Day.[12] However, “Mothers’ Day” (plural possessive) or “Mothers Day” (plural non-possessive) are also sometimes seen.

Dates around the world

As the American holiday was adopted by other countries and cultures, the date was changed to fit already existing celebrations honoring motherhood, such as Mothering Sunday in the United Kingdom or, in Greece, the Orthodox celebration of the presentation of Jesus Christ to the temple (2 February). Mothering Sunday is often called “Mother’s Day” even though it is an unrelated celebration.[5]

In some countries the date was changed to a date that was significant to the most religion, such as Virgin Mary day in Catholic countries. Other countries selected a date with historical significance. For example, Bolivia’s Mother’s Day is the date of a battle in which women participated.[13] See the “International history and tradition” section for the complete list.

Ex-communists countries, such as the former East Germany, usually celebrated the socialist International Women’s Day instead of the more capitalist Mother’s Day.[14] Some ex-communist countries, like Russia, still follow this custom[15] or simply celebrate both holidays, which is the custom in Ukraine.

Note: Countries that celebrate the International Women’s Day instead of Mother’s Day are marked with a dagger “†”.

To read more about Mother’s Day, follow the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother’s_Day             

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My Mother: Betty Lou Fountain Hayes Hawks Day More Photos to come leading up to mother’s day! Enjoy!

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