Category Archives: family matters

My Adorable Husband

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I have to share a something my sweetheart of a husband did this week, with a tiny goof-up!

Barry has been Mr. Romance this week. The ring pictured above was a little surprise I received earlier this week. We stopped in the jewelry store to dop off a ring for repair.

While in the store, one of the saleswomen brought this beautiful ring to me and requested I try it on. She had my white gold band with her and handed it to me also. I thought Barry must haven left his band for cleaning, I was a little confused.

Once the ring was on my finger, Barry said Happy ‘Belated’ Anniversay. He proceeded to say ‘ We have had a rough few months and we were not able to do our anniversary up right last month.’ He kissed my cheek and said ‘I love you, honey. Happy Anniversary!’ It was so sweet.

The funny part or ‘BIG BOOBOO’ came a few minutes later when Barry pulled my wedding band out of his pocket for me to put on.

One of the medications I have been on cause my hands to swell. I haven’t been able to wear my band for a few months.

The funny part is that Barry had given, the jewelry store, his wedding band to be cleaned and enlarged. He had my band thinking it was his. So I am now wearing his band with my new engagement ring.

          Just a little side note: My original band was       stolen. We are not positive when, but are sure we have a good idea what happened to it. Barry went with the Saphire because I had always wanted something different.

When he took the bands in, earlier that morning, he had his band on his ring finger and mine on his pinky. He took the ring off his ring finger and left it to be worked on, leaving my band on his pinky. The engraving on my new wedding band (Barry’s band) was gone with the size change.

For Christmas this year, I’ll sneak our rings away to Santa’s workshop for a fresh engraving. He’ll like that!          
             

              Mr. Barry Baynes, the love of my life!

For the Week of May 19, 2013: Happy Anniversary

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Sitting here, I try to think about what to do with this writing prompt and I am finding it hard to make my decision. There are so many things in my life that could be referenced as an anniversary; but then they should be considered important dates in my life, but I do not see the point of calling them anniversaries. It actually depresses me a little to place that much importance on such painful memories.

If I called any of my memorable pain filled days an anniversary, it would be the day I found out about my diagnosis of Cowden Syndrome and gangliocytoma, a brain tumor. This is the date that forever changed my life. A day I will never forget.   The brilliant neurologist that was chosen to give me the news, was greatly in need of bedside manner training, instead of Shock and Awe Therapy. It has been my experience, that when the news is bad, the doctor has no tact at all or they tell you the least amount of info possible; the worst thing in the world to do is research on the internet. It will only manage to scare you silly. A bit of info goes absolutely nowhere.

I prefer to keep happy things for anniversaries. Maybe I should look at each yearly anniversary of my illness as a good thing. After all, I am still alive and kicking. But I owe that to the Good Lord above. My life is in his hands, he watches over Barry and I. Our faith keeps us going.

This leads me to what I really consider the important days in my life. The day I met my husband (10/31/1998); the date we started dating (12/15/2001); the first time he kissed me ( 01/02/2002); the date he proposed ( 11/13/2003) my 38th birthday; our wedding date (4/3/2004); and then my diagnosis date (2/25/09); saw my neurosurgeon (4/1/2009); and had brain surgery (4/6/2009) five days after my fifth wedding anniversary.

The other dates are just part of God‘s plan for my life. I know when they are because I have to give my medical history a million times in a week. I should know it by heart, but I do have days I cannot remember brushing my teeth in the morning. So I keep a nice, tidy list of medications and medical history on my tablet. Which is a permanent part of my purse. I call it my brain.

There was a time that I felt like someone or something was out to get me. Through the Grace of God, I have handled my latest illness without feeling like a nut job. I’ll explain a little further; since the year 2000, I have gone under general anesthesia 14 times. My tonsils have been removed 2 times (40+ years apart). When it was discovered I had Thyroid Cancer, it took 3 treatments and full body scans to clear it out of my body. (after my thyroid gland was removed); they were unable to fully remove the brain tumor and I am suffering from after effects of the tumor moving around in my head, pressing into cranial nerves. My vocal chords twitch constantly; I have difficulty swallowing; breathing is difficult at times; my left arm and leg are in constant pain;  my balance was affected by the brain surgery, so I have trouble standing and walking. Trust me, you do not want to see me run!

This is not everything, but it is enough to show you that I am depending on my Faith for survival. It has always been my philosophy, that when you tell me I cannot do something it just makes me want to do it more. Helps me yo fight off those feelings of I cannot do this any longer.

If I need to have an anniversary, I think I would stick to April 6th, 2009. Other than my wedding day, that is the date that changed my life. My sweet husband has been by my side through it all. With our wedding anniversary being so close to “The New Me” anniversary, we celebrate through the month of April. Once the weather is warm enough, we plant a new flower in our “Victory Garden”. We spend the.month of April writing each other love notes and planning what to do on our days. Then we choose a plant to enhance our Garden. I’d share a picture if I had a new one. Nothing is blooming yet, thus far. I’ll snap a shot when it starts.

THANK YOU, BARRY BAYNES, for making all our anniversaries special! I Love You to the moon and back!

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Lazy Sunday Afternoon…….

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I sit here gazing out my rear window, deep in thought. The past few weeks have kept my head in a spin and it can be difficult to get it to slow down, much less stop. There appears to be a storm blowing up. We can always use the rain and it makes our yard nice and perky.

The birds are flying around, squirrels are bustling everywhere and I watched as a wild rabbit scurried into the log he has called home for some time now. Animals are scampering around the yard as if they are about to miss a big sale. The wind has picked up and the leaves on our trees are making that fluttery sound they make when a brisk wind hits. I can hear a few cars buzz by in the distance. Barry is asleep in his chair for an afternoon nap. Maggie just jumped up in my lap, looked up at me and curled up into my 40+ pound lap dog. The wind has the pine trees, over by the driveway, making a creaking sound. It just amazes me, that here sitting by a little window in the house, all those precious noises of nature can be heard and distinguished from one another. God can do some amazing things.

The bird feeders and wind chimes are starting to sway as the breeze grows stronger.The knockout roses seem to be attempting to turn their pots cover on the front porch. Their blooms remaining intact as the sway in the wind. The stormy weather is definitely closer. My breeze has turned into a moderate wind. The Lantana that is just beginning to come out toward the sunlight is starting to get caught in the wind. My native lilies, at the top of the drive, seem to have hundreds of chipmunks or other small creatures wrestling in the leaves. They are preparing to bloom, I hope this weather doesn’t injure the blooms. 

It appears that time has come to ready myself for our evening church services. I hope we can arrive before this weather and get settled inside. Everyone, please have a safe and happy Sunday evening. We  are in for bad weather through the night again, from what our forecasters are saying. Maybe it won’t get too bad. We have only one casualty from last night’s storms. Our garage door opener either bit the dust or somehow managed to be struck by lightning. We’ll find out in the morning. Gonna call Mr. Repairman.

We made it to and from church without getting wet, thank you Lord! Once we got home, got online with our cable provider and found out our wiring is shot outside the house and we have to wait til Tuesday for a repairman. No internet, no cable and no home phone service for three days. Will we survive?? I promise not to injure Barry, but what if he gets mad enough at me? I can’t run anymore.

You all know I’m teasing. I’ll just drag him out of here, shopping. We need a new car. Never hurts to window shop. We can work in the yard, go to the gym, go hiking, go to the movies. There are many ways I can think of to keep Mr. Baynes busy.He might not like spending money, but he’ll survive!

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Writing Through Cancer Daily Prompt for the week of May 12, 2013: “Mommy, It’s Your Happy Day”

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Mommy, it’s your Happy day!

I plan to take this a different way. Motherhood is a previous gift from God. Anyone lucky enough to be blessed with such a privilege, should cherish every moment they are given. Growing up, the only things I wanted to do was fall in love and have a houseful of children. My first husband and I tried for years. We both suffered through 5 miscarriages and a physician told that us if we wanted children, we needed different spouses. Fortunately, our inability to have children was not the reason our marriage failed.

With a pregnancy, you start making plans, look forward to the future and then you realize the pregnancy is failing. It breaks your heart. After the fifth miscarriage, your heart feels like a dried up lump of clay. There is no way to describe the agony your body goes through mentally and physically. A miscarriage is a horrible thing to live through. Accepting that it doesn’t seem to be in the Good Lord‘s plan for you to become a mother or father is intense, but as Christians our pregnancies are in the hands of the Lord.  Our lives are part of God’s plan. He has a plan for us all. It is not our place to question that plan. Even though it is in the Lord’s Plan, you still go through a period of regret and doubting. It is not easy to hand everything over to the Lord without some grieving. You get past the emotions and find the strength to give it over to God and get on with your life. You do a lot of praying. Asking for Grace and Strength to get through the misery. You do get through it!  I did it five times and lived. So did my ex-husband. He has remarried and has a son. 

I , also, have remarried. I managed to find my place in this world. I met my soul mate in 2001. We were married three years later. I love him more everyday. I don’t know what I would do without him. He makes me want to be a better person. We have both done things that neither of us ever thought we would do. I made an attempt at being a step-mother ( I gave up when my step-son made it clear, he wanted nothing to do with me). Barry is learning to love my mother.

Her health was failing and she did not need to be living in the situation she was, so we packed her up and moved her in with us. The situation is actually working.  I did not think it would. As mom ages, she is learning the art of compromise. It has tickled her pink, to have Barry start calling her “Mom“.

Barry put’s on a Mother’s Day show every year. He says “I was a wonderful mother. ” When Barry and I married, we discussed children. He asked if I was okay with not having a child. He said he was ready to focus on home and retiring. I was good with that. Our health issues haven’t allowed us to do everything we wanted, but we still enjoy each and everyday. We now have a beloved family pet boxer, named Maggie. She thinks she is human. In a sense, I’m mothering our family pooch.

Barry’s mom passed away a few months before he proposed. I was lucky enough to spend a little time with her. She was a sweet, wonderful woman. I know where her son gets it from.We did agree on one thing. We started to make the same statement at the same time once. That statement was, “He sure does have the best-looking legs around!” She turned and looked at me oddly and said, “I knew I liked you!” When Barry got in the car to find us giggling, he wanted to know if he should be worried.  His mom looked at me and smiled. We didn’t say a word. Barry started the car and headed to the restaurant. 

My mom is a character. I told Barry stories before he met her. He later told me it found my stories hard to believe, until mom started letting the true Betty out in front of him. Mom is a doll and a beautiful woman. She is the perfect work the room character. As long as things are going her way, she is fine. I love her to pieces and look like I could be her twin. I will do anything in the world for her, when I can. Mom living with us has been great. I’m getting to know mom better than I ever have.

Her health is declining and I am trying to help her deal with or understand the changes her body is going through. She is actually listening to me and learning about her illness. Telling my mother the truth about things she does Isn’t easy. I’m getting better at it and she is taking it better.  She has not taken my illness well. I’ve had to ask her to change certain behaviors to help me deal with my health. 

My sister’s and I got our families together and took her out for lunch on Mother’s Day. Barry and I treated her to a new haircut. She really looks great. Sandy has taken her on a trip to North Carolina; to see her grandson graduate from college.I hope she is enjoying herself. She deserve’ it. She is my mom’s.

my momma

my momma

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Post Lumpectomy Unexpected Infection

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Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling fine. I had a banana and sat down with a cup of hot decaf to walk my voice up. Barry was going to the hospital for blood work and bringing breakfast home with him. I crawled up in my favorite chair and got comfy under a blanket. While waiting for Bear to get home, I started to feel horrible. I got up, went back to bed and crawled under all the covers. 

Bear got home and pulled the thermometer out. Other than feeling like a truck had run me over, I felt good. My temperature was headed over 100° at that time. I was a bit dizzy and nauseated, but just extremely cold. I stayed folded up in the covers and rested. My temperature slowly climbed to 102°.

Barry called the breast surgeon‘s office and spoke with the nurse practitioner. She suggested I be seen by a doctor. My family doctor was closer than the breast center, so we called Dr. R.. She saw me at 3:30pm. After a bit of a work-up, she decided it was the incision under my arm. She sent me on my way with orders to rest, take my antibiotics, drink lots of fluids and see breast surgeon as soon as possible.

My private nurse, Barry, is watching me like a hawk. We saw the breast surgeon today. They agreed with my PCP on the diagnosis. They took a good look at the incision; pulled a loose suture out and the pain under my arm went immediately away. I was instructed to use the arm as much as possible, to avoid further fluid build-up. Of course, I was told not to over-do it. More drinking was encouraged and I’m to get the fever gone before my next surgery on the 28th. They want to get my margins clean and me free of breast cancer. I’m ready to be still for a bit. My running legs are getting tired. My chauffeur is starting to show a little wear. I can’t drive at the moment. My poor Bear catching all the driving duties.

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My Infamous School Teacher: Mrs. C.

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Another mom story, every word I am about to write is true. I saw every minute. 

In the eleventh grade, I became sick. I missed a lot of school and ended up having major surgery. I was on the homebound program for school for months as I healed after the surgery. I loved books and I was bored silly. Having schoolwork to do was a blessing. Your mother and a tv can be entertaining for only so long at age 16.

When the doctor cleared me to return to school, I was thrilled. My first day back at school was a train wreck. Most of my classes went wonderfully. Then came Mrs. C.. The minute class started, she announced that there was a quiz over yesterday’s material and everyone would be expected to take part. She called my name out and said, “Yes, even you Miss Jill. Your days of special treatment end today.” I objected, because I had not been given yesterday’s assignment. She sent me to the office to see the principal.

I went to the office and called my mother and told the receptionist what happened; who went running to the principal, while I waited for mom. Mr. C. the principal, walked up to me and started begging me to call off mom, he said he’d handle the problem. He repeated the same thing continuously until my mother walked through the door. Poor Mr. C. had already survived my mom with my older sister, so he knew what she wad capable of.

Mom asked me to show her to the classroom. Mr. C. behind us every step of the way, calmly asking mom to come to his office. Mom kept walking. When we got to the classroom, Mrs. C. acted shocked and told her to get out. his Mom backed Mrs. C. into the corner of the classroom. She started yelling at her that she was never to treat her daughter like that again. “Picking on her in front of the class and not sending correct assignments home was cruel”. She turned and looked at the principal and told him if he didn’t handle the problem, she would with the board of education.

Mom backed away from my teacher and started to leave the room. She turned and told me to gather my things, I was going home. The classroom was laughing hysterically. As she walked by the principal, she asked him to sign me out and we went home. One day in high school I will never forget.

 

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Mom Will Be Home Sunday-sang to tune of “Nothing could be finer”

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MOM WILL BE HOME SUNDAY

Nothing could be finer,

Than to have Mom in North Carolina,

In the morn…..rning…………..

There is nothing greater,

cuz she’ll be gone till three days later in the night,

the next day will be alright…………

cuz she’ll sleep till two days later with her cat…..

we do not mean to sound displeased,

cuz the house has been ours for three wonderful days and nights….

and we managed to keep the cat and dog aliveeeeeeeee……….

*************************************************

I’m happy she is going out-of-town to have some fun, but I am even more thrilled, to have Barry and the house to myself. Am I being awful? I’m loving the time with alone with Barry, but I developed a little fever and running back and forth to doctor’s offices more than usual. They are trying to figure out where the temperature is coming from. It appears that I have an infection in the surgical incision under my arm and 102° temp is coming from. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck(a very large truck). On antibiotics and am seeing surgeon at lunch tomorrow.Wish me luck!

I felt so lost…

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I felt so lost yesterday, this morning I realized I stayed so busy yesterday, that I never wrote a post. My father had a rough Sunday night. We received a call at 9AM from a friend of Pop’s. He had found Pop unconscious in the floor of his bedroom. He called 911 and Pop was taken to Athens to the hospital. Sandy was on the way when Kristie called. She was working and could not leave. Barry, Mom, and I got dressed and headed to the hospital.  By the time we got there, he was being admitted to the hospital.  Sandy stayed a few minutes longer, then had to leave to do her bus route. She could not find a substitute for the afternoon route.

We stayed until Kristie and the boys arrived. Pop was comfortable in his room. Since he had fallen several times, the nursing staff but an alarm on the bed. Pop could not get up without someone hearing an alarm. This made us feel safe to leave him alone for the night. They said he would be discharged the next day. Between Libor and us, someone could pick him up and settled at home before Kristie was home from work.

Pop has a implanted defibrillator. It went off on the 29th of April. He had a heart attack and that defibrillator saved his life. The cardiologist added a new drug that Pop feeling nervous and not good at all. He could not sleep for anything. He gradually felt worse every day on the new drug. We called the doctor’s office for assistance. They did not believe it was the new medicine and stated they would take a good look at him in the office st his appointment. He was scheduled to be in there in 2 days. He was due to see the cardiologist tomorrow. I guess he could not wait.

God leads and guides our daily activities. God must be telling Pop  it is not his time yet. He’s got to hang out with us a while longer. He ready to help us get his affairs in order. Barry and I will be going up to help him set things up this weekend. We’ll have to work things out for healthcare POA’s and type his will up for him. Sandy will have to sign everything when she gets home. She and mom are attending my Nephew, Daniel’s college graduation this weekend. Mom is really looking forward to it. I hope they have a great time.

Life will eventually slow down. My second surgery has been scheduled for May 28th. Looks like my summer will Will be spent healing. YoU’ll still have decisions to make after the surgery. Radiation and chemotherapy are still a big unknown in my life.

Saw my neurologist this morning. He wants me to have a few health issues checked out and deal with the chemotherapy before he changes anything. So I feel kinda lost or on hold until a few issues are settled.I’m digging deep to pull my patience out and focusing on my health and diet while at home.trying recipes that are results to chew and swallow. My body is getting to the point that it has a little trouble doing those things lately.God is guiding me with this issue. I pray and ask for guidance and patience daily. I have figured out it is not my place to ask God why I am in this shape any longer. It is in his plan and I am in his hands. Not going to Strasbourg anything…..at least I’m going to give it my best shot at trying not to stress. God will guide me!

Things I thought I would never able to say, ‘Yes, I did that’ , in my life time

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If you think you are about to read this ‘naughty girl’ confession list, prepare to be disappointed. I’m afraid to admit I’m one of the tamest women left on earth. I should have titled this post, ‘The things I should be embarrassed by or ashamed to admit I did’, rather than the title I posted. Well here goes, sorry to disappoint you……

1. I called out sick at work, when I just did not want to go.

2. I am currently wearing a kotex pad under my left arm, to cover one surgical incision from my breast cancer surgery.

I sprang a leak. I felt like I needed a plumber. The doctor’s answer was to cover it with a kotex pad to handle the drainage until my next appointment.

3. When I walk briskly, I sound like a bottle of water being shaken up.

4. When driving a drunk friend home, once upon a time, he attempted to grab the wheel and struck me across the face. I pulled over to the side of I-85 and put them out of my car.

5. I have had to send money to a friend stuck in Biloxi, Miss. without a dime to get home.

6. I once let someone get mad at me because I did not like hanging around with them. They got mad and quit coming around. I felt so bad, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell them to go away.

7. I let myself get into a situation at a party once, that a woman thought I was interested in her. Embarrassing….

8. When I went to pick a blind date up once, they attacked, I fought them off and ran. As I ran he tore the shirt and bra off my body. I was running through a parking lot half-naked.

9. In my single days, I let a woman tell an overly tipsy man I was hers, to get him to leave me alone.

10. Left a restaurant/bar with a couple of friends one night. When we got to the parking lot, one of the women I was with, started taking off her clothes as we walked to the car. To date, I haven’t asked “why?”.

11. I watched a girlfriend walk over to a man, whom had hit on her, pull a can of ‘Campbells’  soup out of the bust of her dress and hand it to him. She asked him to leave her alone and told him that he had the only thing he’d ever get from her in his hand.

12. My ex-husband talked me into ‘making-out’ in a casket at a funeral home in a small town in Georgia.

13. I corrupted my new husband in the dark on a boat on Lake Lanier, many years ago. That is all I’ll say about that.

14. I have attended the Masquerade Club in Atlanta, Ga. Not proud of being talked into going.

15. I used to love karaoke.

All of the above statements are true, 90% of them happened within 6 months of my divorce. I decided after that time, that I had put myself and my body through enough craziness. I let the true, sane me come back out to be the decent person I am.

‘