Category Archives: family matters

UPDATE…UPDATE…UPDATE…UPDATE…UPDATE…UPDATE…

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MM900295159

It is with since pleasure that I post the facts I received today at my doctor’s visit. They caught my breast cancer early, Stage 1 Invasive (Hormonal) Ductal Carcinoma. It is definitely cancer, but it was caught early enough to not be a big deal to deal with. I’m having surgery on the 30th to remove the lump. Once the lump is out, she can tell me what type of treatment I need.  I told myself, I wouldn’t spend the weekend worrying myself sick about the diagnosis, but I apparently did subconsciously. When we arrived home after the appointment, I slept for six straight hours. Me thinks I was stressing a little more than I realized.

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Continuation of the week of April 21, 2013, The Healing Power of Forgiveness

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A friend pointed out to me, that I may need to forgive myself to truly feel free and get rid of the feeling in my stomach.

If I can say anything about myself, I can truly say I am my own worst critic. Most of us are, but I am extremely hard on myself, always have been.

My third grade teacher wrote “Jill needs to learn that it is OK to be wrong and make mistakes” on the back of one of my report cards.

That was many years ago and you would think I had changed a little. Apparently not! I may have lightened up a little on myself, but not enough.

Working on apologizing to everyone I feel had to deal with my mess, I think I’ll add myself to the list. Surely I can figure out how to forgive and apologize to myself.

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For the week of April 21, 2013: The Healing Power of Forgiveness

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The Healing Power of Forgiveness

The morning of April 18, 2013, I received a call from my physician specializing in breast health. She called to let me know my biopsy results did show cancer. Some called Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.

She informed my husband we need to schedule an appointment to discuss options and she asked if we had thought of what to do if this matter came up.

Barry and I had not expected this matter to seem so quickly, so our answer was of course, No! Maybe we were a little naïve, but we were trying to work on the “positive thinking” option I guess we need to work on that a bit more.

I have always been vigilant with scheduling my physical and mammograms.In 2009, the brain tumor appeared and threw us for a loop.

After the brain tumor the weird symptoms appeared and I was diagnosed with; Cowden’s Syndrome, Lhermitte Duclos Disease, Thyroid Cancer, my gallbladder was removed, my tonsils were removed a second time, my mammograms started showing suspicious areas that needed to be rechecked and then biopsied.

During all of this hoopla, I felt the incredible urge to seek forgiveness from my God, my family and friends. When the possibility of death smacks you in the face, it makes you take a step back and look at our life. I felt silly apologizing to some of my friends, but the Lord and my is a different story.

My husband Barry was the toughest, but I could tell he was confused. But we talked it out. One of my desires, was to find and get involved in a good church. I wanted Barry and I to go together. I missed attending church.

We have since found as wonderful church and have become active members. Mom is going with us. It is a pleasure to see her enjoying herself and flourishing in the church community. She is about to be baptized.

I continue to ask God for forgiveness daily and to grant me the Grace, Strength and Mercy to help me settle the uneasiness that remains in the pit of my stomach today; I believe I know what I need to do to settle my stomach, but I am scared.

In the next month, I think I’d like to apologize to my ex-husband. He feels like my missing link. The problem I need to solve.

My family is extremely supportive and I love them each and everyone. They seem to have accepted my apology without fail. I hope this brings the closeness we once had back into our lives.

I didn’t leave my first marriage as I should have. I left my sister, Sandy and her family in town to deal with my mess. I was a mess at that time and truly did not know how to handle the situation. To put it plain and simple, I was young, stupid and scared. I got a new career and threw myself into work.

Seeking forgiveness from everyone involved, has started to ease my mind. I still need to follow through with talking to my ex-husband. We will see if it helps.

DAIlY PROMPT FROM

http://writingthroughcancer.com

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Our latest addition

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My mom is bottle feeding an abandoned kitten we found in my dad’s backyard. It is the cutest little thing. Mom, Barry and I are having a blast. We babysit when she isn’t home. Our dog has adopted the kitten and is cleaning up after it. She tries to drag it around by the tail. it is so sweet. They cuddle and play. Just adorable! Mom is like she has a baby. Toooooooo cute!

Cowden Syndrome rearing it’s ugly head

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Barry is the most patient human being on earth. Either, God is giving him strength or he is hiding his fear really well. We are currently waiting to see a doctor for results of an abdominal/pelvic MRI.

During my renal ultrasound, they discovered something on my liver. The doctor’s answer was it is just an incidental finding, we’ll get an MRI to check it out. He thought he was easing my anxiety.Nope….just made it worse….why don’t they get that?

If they were honest enough to just say it could be this or this…..why not do more test to rule it out…..would have made me feel better……but since when is the patient supposed to feel good after seeing a doctor?

Other than that, even though the breast biopsy was negative. They are still investigating the cause of the problem. Another MRI this weekend and appointments all next week to get results and such.

My body is acting crazy and I can’t get a return call from a doctor to save my life. I am also experiencing a new symptom of cowden syndrome, that no one wants to help me with. These doctors wonder why people get depressed. I have a rare genetic disorder that actually scares the doctors treating me.

Barry is being a supportive dream. I am a fussy mess, he just tells me to relax and go sit down. I love that man.

I’m doing the paperwork to join the study at the Cleveland Clinic. Not sure it will do me a bit of good, but maybe it will help someone else dealing with this mess.

I need to go for now, have a few contacts to make. I think I have diverticulitis again. I have to call my doctor. I need to do paperwork for myself and mom. Have a great day everyone.

Barry and I didn’t know how to act yesterday. We saw a movie and had lunch out without dealing with a doctor’s office.

 

My adorable husband, the eternal prankster

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MM900178208My sweet, adorable, totally innocent-looking husband is getting a reputation, since mom moved in. He cannot seem to help himself when it comes to her.

This afternoon, mom was frantically looking for her misplaced makeup when Barry gets the bright idea to hand her a few Sharpies. He asked what color she wanted. She took them all.

Of course she was not wearing her glasses. I walked into the bathroom just in time to stop her. She was about to line her lips with a red Sharpie.

What a sight she would have been at church. I believe if she could have gotten a hand on Barry, he might have been in a wee-bit of trouble.

 

MM900354746    

Root Word: itis

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Check out this link!

http://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/-itis#section_1

The root word “itis” means so much for such a small little thing. That small little thing has become one of those things I have learned not to enjoy hearing attached to words my doctor is telling me.

There are many minor “itis’s” that are no big deal, then there are those attached to words coming out of the mouths of the doctors we see. 

The medical profession is full of “itis” words I am sure many people out there would rather not hear. What gets us is when they bring out words you have to research. 

I think I’ll come up with a new affliction:

doctortis- Inflammation of doctors. That would not work, it could either mean you are inflamed by your doctors or your doctors are inflamed. Doesn’t exactly sound right. Neither one of the fits what we are suffering from. It should be doctorvisititis.

It would be nice if we could start charging doctors for the pleasure of our company, we’d rich by now.

I know this sounds a bit silly, but this is our life! With Barry retired, I’m hoping we can mix it up a bit and actually get a social life.

 

Daily Prompt: Judgement Day

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If you were to judge your favorite book by its cover, would you still read it? 

My favorite book is a toss up. I do most of my reading on my Google Nexus 7. I picked out a nice bright teal cover, so the cover is interesting, but it is according to what strikes my fancy on the Kindle App that gets me reading.

I never have a problem reading my  bible. Whether it is on then OliveTree App on my pad or my old faithful Study Bible at home. The OliveTree App is a biblical version of Kindle. They have everything available to you; as well as, books to purchase and a free section.

Although we have gone digital, no matter which cover, I can always find something of intrigue in the Bible. I would never hesitate to pick the Bible up to read. Whether the digital version or my old faithful black and silver version on the shelf at home.

 

Please Forgive My Absence

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Please forgive my absence for the past few days. Imagine the nerve of life getting in the way. I’ll admit I let the “poor pitiful me’s” get in the way. When my favorite urologist found my new problem, my mood kinda hit the toilet with a big splash. I’ve had 2 days of sulking and I’m tired of being the only “stick in the mud” at the party.

Time for a reality check. Yes, I am sick. Yes, I hurt all day everyday. Yes, I have to see a lot of doctors. But………I love the Lord, I adore my husband, I have a loving, happy, sometimes screwed family, I have 2 great pets (a dog that thinks she is human and a fish that will come to the top of the bowl when called), I have a great life.

Why I let myself get all down and depressed, I’ll never understand. One doctor I see told me to quit worrying about getting upset. He said it’s not like I don’t have a million things to worry about.

Maybe all this studying and work I’ve done, on turning my issues over to the Lord, is working. It was much easier to turn this over to God, than in the past. I really think that listening and learning in church is the way to go. Growing up, I was more concerned with who was at church, than what I was learning. I’m learning a lot at Victory Baptist Church, they are such a truly incredible group of people.

Tomorrow is the MRI of my abdomen and pelvis. I’m praying that whatever Dr. M saw on my liver is no longer there. Please think of me tomorrow, Barry and I can use all the prayers we can get.