Watching the strong get weaker one day at a time!

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This is turning into the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My sweet hubby is the strongest person I know on this earth and watching him grow weaker and weaker is killing me. My heart breaks a little more everyday.

I go through the scenarios about this illness and they do not help. Yes he can improve. I am well awarebof that! I just do not enjoy watching him feel so bad.

He is so weak, he can’t walk to the bathroom without getting short of breath. His legs and abdomen are so swollen you can hardly recognize him. He says he doesn’t hurt, but is just uncomfortable.

I have no doubt he is saved and going to heaven. That is not what my tears are for. My tears come from watching what this disease is doing to his body. I know the Good Lord has a plan and is watching over my sweeatheart. He is by my side as I take care of Barry.

If this procedure is what Bear needs to make him better, I pray that his kidney levels have improved and they can schefule it as soon as possible. If not, please give Bear the strength to accept the fact that they have to go into his chest s third time. He is scared and I cannot bkame him. The doctors have repeatedly told him all about the risk. It scares him to hear about it. It scares me too.

I feel like Barry is taking me through a trip down memory lane. We spent the weekend in his hometown. We took a million pictures of special places where he spent his childhood.  Is he trying to tell me something?

We are back, at least for the moment!

In our earlier post, we stated we’d try to get a post in a week. Maybe more. According to how our day goes! Between radiation treatments, Barry’s doctors appointments and our energy levels; we are lucky to get anything posted. Have patience. I have taken pictures and written posts while sitting around the hospital. A lot of interesting things go on in local hospitals! Just wait……

Mom burned the biscuits…….

Biscuits

Biscuits (Photo credit: naokomc)

Biscuit

Biscuit (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

No major ordeal, should not have been at least. I was up getting ready for bible study, when I heard pans being thrown around and doors slamming. I headed to mom;s kitchen to see what was happening.

Mom was helping prepare ham biscuits for Bible Study. The biscuits were not browning on the tops, so she kept leaving them in the oven minute by minute. What she did not count on was the bottom of the biscuit browning faster than the tops. The ham was quite tasty; the biscuits were at least a little crunchy, but tasty. I received no complaints at Bible Study.

Will make mom’s day to know there was…..

Not a single biscuits left……..

Mom Lost Her Washcloths

Mom is adorable. I never know what to expect her to do or say next. She would lose her hind-end if it wasn’t attached to her backside.

Barry and I came in yesterday to find mom frantically searching for something. When Barry went to change clothes, mom told me that she had washed all of her socks and wash clothes, which were now missing. She was wringing out one wash cloth daily, for a 2 weeks now and decided she could find hers on her own. She also decided not to tell us or ask to borrow a wash cloth. I told her to quit being silly and let’s find her wash clothes.

Mom is wonderful. I start the laundry, my disability allows me to do this after someone carries the clothes to the laundry. I cannot pick-up more than 5 pounds at a time. Mom then folds/hangs up and helps put the laundry away. She doesn’t realize how much help this is.

English: Laundry is hung to dry above an Itali...

English: Laundry is hung to dry above an Italian street.                                 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)                                                     

Mom: does this look like a woman that cannot keep up with anything?wpid-IMAG0137.jpg

Our September

●get Barry home and comfy
●finish chemo
●setup radiation
●organize and get all medications (mine, Barry’s ans mom’s), make sure they take them
●coordinate with visiting nurses for home IV antiobiotics
●Coordinate my appointments, with Barry’s and momma’s
●arrange assistance with appointments
●get hospital bed for Barry
●Take Barry’s vital signs three times daily
●Keep dressing on pic line intact
●Take care of dog and cat
●make sure Barry tries to eat
●AM Care for hubby
●PM Care for Barry
●Dressing assistance when needed
●make sure he gets enough rest
●haircut regularly
●pay bills
●cook breaskfast, lunch snd supper
● do laundry when mom can help

I just wanted to see a list. Might I add that the calendar had no free days available by the first Saturday in September. Our new Jeep is getting quite a workout. It actually runs better since the repairs were made after I filled our new diesel with unleaded. What a Bonehead move to make.Have a great day everyone!

Our August

  • My dad was on Hospice Care and not doing well. He had a nasty cold and with me on chemotherapy, I could not go see him. My immune system was too low.
  • The Eighth of August was the start of my nightmare month. While attempting to hook the computer to the television, Barry past out cold, hit his head on the front door and appeared to have a seizure.  I could not get 911 fast enough. He was admitted from the ER with an arrhythmia.
  • Two mornings later, I received a call from Barry letting me know they had moved him to ICU during the night and were now planning to transfer him to another hospital.  No hospital employee ever contacted me.
  • Once at the other hospital, he was admitted to their Cardiac Care Unit for close observation.
  • Within  2 days. he was having a pacemaker put in.
  • At my chemo treatment, it was discovered that I had a blood clot in axillary vein under my right arm. When I went in for my injection after chemo, the doctor felt I needed to go to the ER for evaluation. I was short of breath and had chest pain. At least I got to go to the ER at the hospital Barry was in. I was closer to him, although I couldn’t see him before or immediately after the pacemaker surgery. Our Pastor was the perfect substitute. He is such a gracious man.
  •  As it turned out, I had pneumonia, thank goodness the blood clot had not moved to my lungs.They wanted to admit me, but I wanted to be with Barry.
  • A fever, 103, kept me home for a few days
  • He was in bad shape and needed immediate heart surgery
  • I could not get there fast enough. I spent the night before with him.
  • I found out my dad passed away three hours before Barry’s surgery.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts.
  • I was driven home, after we saw Barry was stable, by my pastor that night. My fever had popped it’s ugly head up again.
  • Our Pastor and an Associate stayed with me during his surgery.  They brought coffee and donuts. It stayed with me for the next week.
  • Someone from the church, Jason W.  and our nephew, Derrek checked on Barry for me while I was out of commission. I was actually chewing on the front door wanting to get to the hospital.
  • Once my fever got out the door, I spent the next 4 days at the hospital and ended up being able to take my sweetheart home with me. 20 days after being admitted. I found out the surgery they did was a mercy surgery. Barry was close to death and almost died during the surgery.
  • I spent the weekend attending the funeral for my dad.
  • On the way home from the hospital, We stopped for gas. We have a diesel Jeep. The station we stopped at was making renovations and still had a diesel sticker on a now unleaded pump. Needless to say, I filled the Jeep with unleaded gas. We were stranded for 4 hours until a wrecker arrived. We arrived home at 11pm.

Is that enough to deal with or do you want more? This isn’t all. My poor pup was home taking care of mom and the house.

We would like to thank everyone that helped make it through this bad, bad month! We love you all!

Through the Grace of our Heavenly Father, we are both alive and kicking. Maybe a little grayer and a I know a lot tired. We are here! Thank you, Dear Lord!

Daily Prompt: On the Road

If you could pause real life and spend some time living with a family If anywhere in the world, where would you go?

New Mexico Beach, Florida

Not only does it sound like the perfect vacation spot for people my age, but it is close to home and we can drive. I like places close enough to drive. They plan activities through the year; so you never miss a holiday or season. They constantly remind you. It sounds like a little slice of heaven.

We would love to stay with a couple similiar to us. They would have to let our puppy visitbwith us. That understands our limitations and are willing to slow life down for a bit. I just want to sit on the beach and listen to crashing waves. Of course, a bathroom closeby would need to be handy. We want time alone to be us. Hopefully, there is a church closeby to enjoy services while we are visiting,

Barry and I have been unable to vacation for quite some time. He is busy planning our Christmas get away. I can’t wait. We might stay forever. Getting out and away from home sounds like amn impossibility at the moment, but we can make it happen. Take one day at a time and we will get there. Christmas at the beach. Do I pack a tree?

Good People still Exist

I recently witnessed a beautiful selfless act. I was talking to a future grandmother, with an unwed daughter not yet out of school.

A gentleman walked up and asked ” May I intrude for a moment?” 

We said “of course”.

He leaned over and whispered something into my friends ear, then hugged her neck before placing something in her hand.

Once he was gone, my friend handed me an envelope and told me to “look inside”.  I was holding an envelope with a large sum of money inside.

He had stated to her to “use this to help your babies”.

There are still “good people” out there.