Rules for awards

The Kat and The Falling Leaves's avatarThe Kat & the Falling Leaves

Happy New Year!  Wishing everyone and their loved ones a wonderful year ahead.

SalsaGlam was a success!  It was really great to catch up with all of my Salsa friends from Montreal, Vancouver, New York and Paris.  We danced up a storm 🙂  I’ll be posting pictures next week.

2012 ended on a sweet note!

On December 22nd Kim at Tranquil Dreams presented me with The Versatile Blogger Award.  Visit her blog for beautiful photography, creative writing and yummy baking recipes.

versatileblogger111

On December 29th, Gegebearbear at Two Rights Attempting to Make a Left  also nominated me for this Award.  Her story is such an inspiration.

versatileblogger

These are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award as follows:

  • Display the Award Certificate on your website
  • Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award
  • Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers
  • Drop them a comment to tip them off after…

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Daily Prompt: Use It or Lose It!

This is my first daily prompt. I could not resist, because the title fits my everyday life. Every minute of every day can be summarized by ‘Use it or Lose it’.

I get up in the mornings and walk past my wheelchair to start my day. If I do not continue to walk, it will get to the point that I can’t.

I exercise one hour everyday because my muscles have a way of forgetting how to act right, so I have to remind them.

I read my bible everyday, to strengthen my relationship with God and it exercises my eyes. Makes the muscles in my eyes work. They also tend to forget, overnight, how to act right. I also do about an hour of eye exercises daily just to help keep them strong. I do not care to lose my eyesight.

If I am up to it, I try to run a few errands alone, to keep up my stamina and maintain my independence. I love to window shop, if I can’t get out on my own, not sure what I’d do. Had my driver’s license a long time and I am not ready to part with it!

The one thing I did not like losing was my hair! It is hard to style your hair when you only have one useful hand. Short hair is easy to style and I can use my left hand enough to hold a round brush or a hair dryer. I will admit, I miss my ponytail!

Just about everything in my life works with the phrase, “Use it or Lose it”!

To believe or not to believe…..

‘New Years Superstitions’: I’ve never considered myself superstitious, but my sweet hubby insists every year that I adhere to one he grew up with. His mom and dad would NEVER wash laundry on New Years Day.

I believe it goes something like this: “If you wash your clothes on New Year’s Day, you will be washing a member of your family away.” 

You can read about others at the link I have provided. Several of them sound kind of silly. If you tried to do everything they suggest, you’d have one incredibly busy midnight hour at the beginning of every year. http://www.snopes.com/holidays/newyears/beliefs.asp

In my opinion, this one is kinda creepy, but Barry says that both his mother and father were adamant about observing this superstition. Honestly, I hate doing laundry. I’m not gonna argue when Barry tells me not to.

My third blogging award….Wow, I love it…..!!!!!!

I’m too pooped to finish writing this one up tonight, but I promise to have it posted before the new year. I actually received nominations for several awards today. I’ll start working on all that tomorrow. Again, it has been a big day, and I’m too pooped to type. I wanna sleep in the bed tonight, not under it. Sweet dreams all……

This is just so sweet….

waynemali's avatarThe Bottom of a Bottle

As the end of the year slowly creeps up and I will face the last of my Festive Tests, Test No 4. New Year’s Eve, I haven’t got a clue what I will be doing this time tomorrow evening or where I will be, probably in exactly the same place as I am now, at the keyboard typing out yet another post.

One thing I do know is I won’t be drinking anything other than Pepsi Max or Lime n Soda, the SoberDay count will stand at 276 days tonight and I will see in the New Year with 277 SoberDays, I may celebrate alone and it will not be the first time, but the difference will be this year is that I know I will never be truly alone, just because my eyes don’t see, my heart believes.

I have drafted a number of poems over the last few weeks…

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Letting things go…..

Can anyone out there tell me how to do this?

The bible says to give it to God and not to worry.

There are certain things in life that are radically difficult to just put aside and not worry about.

  • Friends, eh, you learn who your true friends are when times get tough.
  • Family will always be family, no matter how much worry they cause, they are family. You love them anyway.
  • A brain tumor diagnosis, a stroke, cancer diagnosis, any life threatening illness that could lead to a major life change…

How do you not worry about things like that?

I do my best to give things to God, but I feel like I struggle daily with this issue. I pray and ask the Lord to strengthen my will and give me the knowledge I need to be able to understand how and be able to turn things totally over to him.

Hopefully the stronger my faith and knowledge about Christ and the bible, will help me find the peace I feel like I am looking for. My support system worries as much as I do.

God, help Barry and I figure out how to give it all over to you. We are your students……

Brain Tumor Issues Again!

feelbadAddendum: I am re-posting this for BrainTumorThursday. We are not going to be home for me to participate tomorrow, but I was hoping someone might have a clue as to what could be going on with me. It has been almost a week and I feel no better at all. Can’t get a doctor on the phone till tomorrow. I have since started retaining fluid all over my body. I do not eat salt, but I currently am carrying around over 10 extra pounds than I was a week ago. It happened over night. My wrists are even swollen.

I’m a little terrified at the moment. I feel extremely tired, my eyes have not wanted to focus most of the day, my balance has been non-existent today and getting up just to the bathroom is difficult.

Of course things like this always happen over a weekend when there is not a doctor to be found or on the beginning day of the biggest holiday weekend of the year. I prefer to actually speak to a doctor that actually knows me.

When my eyes act up, I cannot shake the fear of losing my eyesight. I have resigned myself to the fact that my wheelchair will replace my legs as my mode of transportation eventually.

If that is God’s plan, I’ll live my life the best I can and learn to love the “New Me”. I work on my eyes daily, but it doesn’t appear to help like it used to. Again, if this is part of the “New Me”, I’ll figure out my independence and take one day at a time.

Nativity Scene

I love Christmas, I refuse to get sick!

sleeping santaHopefully, my body is still telling me I need more rest. Getting out of the house for anything for the next week will not only be stressful, getting home quickly will be impossible and the holidays brings the crazy out in some people. You just never know what might happen. Since I appear not to have caught up with myself, yet….maybe I should do a little more than just kick my feet up in my favorite chair!

exercise2I need to get my exercise routine started again in the morning. If I have the exercise1strength tomorrow, I’ll work that into our day. Keeping my body strong appears to keep my energy level up. If Barry is up to it, I’ll drag him to gym. It will not hurt either of us. Maybe trying to exercise will make me feel better, than attempting to rest. Not sure if the gym will be open tomorrow. If so, hopefully the “Rowdy Roosters” will still be in the hen-house. Sharing the gym with them can be a challenge.

Rewind

How do you summarize such a year in one little post. This has been a year packed full of adventure and heart ache, but a year stacked and packed full of wonderful memories.

If I ramble, please forgive me. I have a lot to say, and not sure where to start, I believe I’ll take it one month at a time. Just to see how it turns out.

December 29, 2011 Barry was determined he could drive. I had an appointment in Lawrenceville that could not be rescheduled, but I would be unable to drive home. So, we turned down offers from people to drive us over and I got in the car with Barry behind the wheel. He had to see for himself that he still had a little healing to do.

Biggest mistake of my life. First time I have ever wanted to kiss the ground when getting out of the car. Once I checked in, I called to ask my sister for help getting home. After a lecture on being stupid, she came to our rescue. I would have driven home doped up, before letting the love of my life drive again.

January: was our transition month and I was thrilled to have him home. Barry was discharged from the rehab center on December 28, 2011. We were adjusting and adapting our lives to accommodate his needs around the house.

Along with this we were in the process of tri-weekly outpatient rehab at a local center. It was nice to find a good center close to home, since I was doing the driving. I do better at short distances.

Coordinating outpatient rehab and follow-up appointments was quite a task. I believe Barry and I are ending this year more organized than we ever have been.

Spending so much time together, Barry and I started getting reacquainted and honestly getting to know each other better than we did before his stroke. He is more open and relaxed since the stroke, he has also lost his filter. I never know what to expect out of his mouth when he opens it. It is really refreshing at times and always good for a laugh.

One of our nephews did not understand that Uncle Barry was sick, even though he looked the same. Barry had a little talk with him and let him know that their wrestling sessions had to be over for a while. He is such a smart little guy and watching him grow into such a sweet little young man is a pleasure. This nephew is Barry’s first nephew from day one.

His brother went everywhere with Barry and I when we were dating. Everyone thought he was our child. It was wonderful!

Since I was unable to have children, watching my sisters kids grow-up and being part of their lives has been a joy. They will never understand what that has meant to me.

February: lead into more rehab and more appointments. For a while, rehab and doctor’s appointments were the only thing on our social calendar.

This was an extremely hard month, we had to make the horrible decision to close our business. To date, I don’t know if it was harder to tell the residents or their families. Some of the residents took it hard, one got mad and lashed out, but apologized later. The others said they understood, but were not happy. The state people attempted to encourage us to stay open if at all possible.

It was not in the cards. Barry and I just could not do it alone anymore and we could not afford to pay good help to run the business. It honestly felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Now I could focus on Barry and I, instead of the two of us plus the residents. I had forgotten what it felt like to relax.

March: lead into the permanent close of RoseWillow Cottage. With the last resident settled in a new home, we officially locked our doors for the first time and attempted to figure out how to live in the rest of our house.

We had the pleasure of watching my baby sister receive her degree at graduation. I was so proud, she worked so hard. Although the economy is not helping her find an open position. Hopefully, she’ll find something with the new school year. She is a middle school math teacher. 

Barry’s rehab had been decreased to twice weekly, with hopes to soon be discharged. He was progressing marvelously. No one could believe he had been through the massive ordeal he had. God truly had a hand in his recovery. It is the only way to explain it.

April: Lead into Barry’s discharge from rehab and I took over as drill sergeant making him exercise and do his memory drills. He has been in management for 20 some odd years and does not like being told what to do. Trust me!

I got my nice, new purple wheelchair that is easier to handle than the old one. That thing weighed a ton!

In April, God led Barry and I to our church home, Victory Baptist Church. We felt at home the minute we walked through the door.  A friend of ours has been inviting us for years, but we always used the business as an excuse.

A few of our residents wanted to attend church when they first moved in, but as their condition worsened, they started refusing to go.

Barry and I also celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary quietly at home. After the stroke, Barry had difficulty with crowds for a while. We slowly got out in public to give him time to adapt.

May/June: these months found our schedules calming down for a bit. Barry had a birthday in June, he was really anxious, but survived without a hitch. In June, my mother asked if she could move back in.

She did not feel safe where she was, so she was packing her bags coming back to our house. Of course, we could not tell her no. Barry and I agreed, we couldn’t have her in her current living situation. We discussed a date and got ready for mom to be in the house again. We sat mom and my sisters down and laid out a few ground rules. Needless to say, they did not last long.

July: Mom moved in and a new iron was added to the flame of confusion. We had a few trying moments, but I learned to lock the door and keep mom on her side of the house. Best money we ever spent, the lock on our side of the laundry room. We even have a do not disturb sign on her side of the door. It is working great, at least for now.

August: started off great, then about midway into the month, I fell backwards down the steps in our garage. Stitches in my left elbow and a mild concussion.

I hate hospitals when I’m the patient. I did not realize how the hospital ER would affect my sweety, but the combo of me being injured and being in the hospital had him on the edge of panic. As usual, the hospital was slow as Christmas! I was so relieved to get him out of there, 5 hours later.

It takes me forever to recover from falls. Here it is 4 months later and my left elbow still gives me fits. The rest of August and into September, Barry and I didn’t do much traveling. Barry was adapting well and adjusting to the new him.

September: my energy level stayed in the toilet for most of the month. I was tickled to figure out the problem was not only the fall. They discovered I had an infection in my colon. This of course lead us back to the doctor with with their favorite words, tests, and you need to see another doctor.

At the same time, my neurologist decided he wasn’t sure what else to do for me and referred me to a neuro-oncologist, with experience in my brain tumor.

The new doctor added Cowden’s Syndrome to my collection of diagnoses and ordered more tests. The tests turned out to be good. They lead us into figuring out a few of the difficulties I was experiencing. I was tickled they found no cancer. But I was off to more doctors to treat what he did find.

October/November: both months were kinda packed with doctors visits, procedures, and more doctor’s visits. We were settling in at church really well. Enjoying getting to know everyone. I grew up going to church, but in the six months at Victory; I learned more about the bible than I ever have. After being picked on for weeks, I survived another birthday in November.

December is here and we are still holding on. Barry is getting stronger by the week. He has decided to retire. I’m getting used to the idea of him being home all the time. We spent the first few weeks of the month catching up on the things, we missed out on last year. December 11th came and went without us even realizing it was here.

I’m sitting here, next to the love of my life, as I type this. I am overcome by joy that we have had this time together and look forward to the many, many more adventures in store for us. I almost lost him last year and l don’t want to think about where I’d be today if that had happened.

We are living one day at a time and loving every minute!

The “New” Barry strikes again

Barry’s office has a family day every year before their holiday starts. They have Santa for the kids, everyone brings snack foods and a little work gets done. What the employees love more than anything, is they get to leave early….hit the stores, have lunch or whatever else you may want to do.It is very nice.

Well, this year on the drive to the office, we had”New Barry” moment that was hilarious. The poor lady in the car next tons did not know what to think. We were at a red-light when an SUV pulled up next to us. The SUV was decorated with an elf hat on the grill and ears sticking out the back windows. (Just for you info, we have had a drastic weather change, it is icy cold and windy) Barry signaled for her to roll her window down, when she did, he asked, “Are your ears cold?” She did not say a word, but got a funny look on her face. The light had changed, so we drove on. I’m not sure we wanted to hang around to hear her response. 

Last time I was with anyone doing such, I had picked a tipsy friend up and she would not keep her window closed at red lights. She asked every car we stopped by if they had anything gray she could poop on. Of course, referencing Grey Poupon Mustard. It was funny, but distracting when you are trying to drive. But, oh, what a ride home…

Holiday Shoppers! Ohmy!

santa borderI am usually shocked by the behavior of people without disabilities, but today I decided that no one cares about anyone else any longer. This is a time of giving, love and cheer. Barry and I got far more than that while shopping for essentials today. We only went out for things we had to have! Into the pit of craziness we went.

I’m still not feeling my best, but it was a day that shopping would have been easier with one of the motorized carts. The carts were not sitting all over the store, dead were in with the other carts, dead and not even plugged in. The people using the carts couldn’t even be bothered to turn them off and plug them in to charge. But we have to help each other. The employees working couldn’t take the time to have the dead carts around the store taken out of the way and put up to charge. They would probably be the first to complain if they needed one.

These carts are kindly made available at certain stores, so that people with disabilities can get out and do things for themselves, keeping a sense of normalcy.  I have gone to the store, when I really was not up to it and all of the carts would have dead batteries or be out of service. Kinda burst your bubble. Grab a push cart and do your best yo get around the store.

Today, a lady in a motorized cart wanted to see something on a display, that she couldn’t get to. I was standing off my cart looking at an item on the top shelf when this lady decided she would try to get her cart between mine and the display. She bumped my cart, which knocked into me and I fell into a rack of clothes. She didn’t even apologize, she just rode off. Then as we were leaving, a disabled man pretty much tried to sit in the seat of the cart with me and when I did get up, he was taking off with our groceries before we got them out of the basket. On top of everything else, an elderly lady had already asked if she could have the cart. I told him that and with her standing behind him, he got on that cart and rode off. He did not even look back.

I was just shocked. I apologized to the lady and got out of there. 

Whatever happened to “Love thy Neighbor”?

People used to be kind and treat each other with a littlte respect. Has respect been taken out of the dictionary? I must have missed that.

 I was unable to have children. After I see the way some kids act, if they were mine, I’m not sure whether or not they’d be able to sit down for months or be grounded for life. I know what my momma would have done to us. It would have involved a weeping willow tree and picking out which branch we wanted her to use.

Barry and I were both exhausted leaving that crazy place. I just don’t get people anymore………….

Happy Holidays, everyone!!!