Big Day

10:30am: Biopsy

1:00pm: Yearly Neurosurgeon visit, hopefully to turn into every 3 years, if he likes my MRI.

Please keep Barry and I in your thoughts and prayers today. Big day for both of us. He will be alone quite a bit tomorrow in the hospital I almost lost him in over a year ago. I’m not sure which I am more anxious over, the biopsy or having to leave him alone. Thanks for your support!

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Monday Jitters

Give, it to God, Jill.  Don’t let all of these crazy things worry you. Take one day at a time and one appointment at a time. That is all you can do, do not over think what is going on next week and let God work in your life. He is the one with the plan for your life. Let him work it. Be strong for yourself, Barry and you family. It is inside of you. Be strong. No matter what the outcome, be strong. She your strength in your actions. Barry needs to know you are OK and tough. Be strong for him. Be encouraging for Barry. He needs to see your strength.

Please forgive my nervous outbreak. A lot going on next week that I am not sure I’m prepared to deal with. But I’m in God’s hands and he’ll take care of me. I’m more worried about Barry than myself. Hospitals make him nervous, especially Emory, since the stroke. I’m sure it will all work out. Monday is the key. Just take it one day at a time. 

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Six Word Fridays- Hand/Hands

button-1Barry and I hand in hand. I love Barry’s strong, warm hands. I need Barry’s help at times. His hands are always there. When I need a hand on steps. When I need a hand up. His hands are always readily there. His comfort makes me feel whole.

I have a husband deserving much. His hands deserve things my hands. Can no longer function to give. My hands shake when they function. I want to show Barry love. I want to show him appreciation. I will find another way love.  Can shine through to Barry’s heart.

I will figure a way love. Can shine through my actions daily. I need him to know love. Still shines through in my actions. He deserves that and much more. His wonderful hands show me daily. That he loves me unconditionally always. He joins me in God’s hands. God’s plan guides our daily life. His watchful hands guide us daily.

Join the fun. Follow the link below.

http://mymemoryart.blogspot.com/2013/02/six-word-fridays-hand.html

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My eyes playing tricks on me…..just an example….please forgive me Pastor

When leaving church services a few days ago, my eyes were acting strange all day. Barry and I walked out the front door toward the parking lot. Our weather, has been a huge range from sunny to rainy to windy to stormy. Well, this night, it was burrrrrrr cold and windy.

I looked off to the right of the parking lot because something caught my eye. I turned and asked Barry if there a fire toward the Pastor’s house?

He started laughing and informed me that what I was seeing was the wind blowing the stop sign, with the parking lot lights reflected on the stop sign. My eyes just made it seem further away than it was. I was looking in the direction of the Pastor’s house.

The reason there may be a fire toward the Pastor’s house is an entirely different story, I don’t feel it is proper to share without permission. I’ll just tell you, it is a good one! He has video to prove it.

http://deriklawrence.wordpress.com

Double Whammy…you have to love doctors!!!

While at a checkup with the Allergist today, I received a phone call from the genetics counselor assigned to me. She had received the results of my genetics test. I apparently do have the rare genetic disorder all the doctors have been avoiding discussing with me. So I am one in 250,000 people in the United States blessed with this genetic nightmare.

Even though one sweet doctor had taken it upon himself to tell me that I could be considered diagnosed with the disease because of my medical history; I felt like a rock had been dropped in my lap. Reality smacked me in the face and now I had to discuss this with my family and get them to be tested. I hate being like this.

I would never wish this on my worst enemy, I certainly do not need to worry about my sisters, nieces and nephews having to deal with this. What about their children? This is just so much to deal with. I was coping fine, until I knew for sure. Now…I need to pray on this…

 

 

Yearly Thyroid Ultasound: HAPPY DANCE!!!

I got the all clear after my ultrasound today. They thought I had an active lymph node in my neck, but I have been given a clean bill of health any thyroid cancer or lymph node issues for the moment. A big thank you to the good Lord above and to everyone on here for the courage and support you bring out in me daily! THANK YOU!!!!!!   🙂 

HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE!

Most Influential Blog 2012 Award

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Most Influential Blog 2012 Award!

Thank you so much to Martha of

http://inlovewiththelord.wordpress.com/page/2/

for nominating me for the Most Influential Blog 2012 Award!  Her blog, Inlovewiththelord, inspires me to continue writing and helps keep my faith strong in the Lord.  Her comments on my blog, are sweet, kind and encouraging. Thank you, Martha, for your kind words. I encourage you to check out Martha’s blog. Be prepared to be inspired. 

My nominees are listed below in no particular order.  They have greatly influenced me and touched my life on a regular basis and I thank them and congratulate them for being among the Most Influential Blogs of 2012.

http://robinclaire.wordpress.com

http://nutsandraisins.wordpress.com

http://beachtreasuresandtreasurebeaches.com

http://jgburdette.wordpress.com

http://youthinkyoucanblog.wordpress.com

http://randomuzings.wordpress.com

http://prettywitgla33es.wordpress.com

http://stripedcandy.wordpress.com

http://www.mcguffysreader.blogspot.com

http://schirtlea.wordpress.com

http://thekatandthefallingleaves.wordpress.com

http://glutenfreegus.com

http://highheelgourmet.com

http://theverybesttop10.com/

http://xbrittx13x.wordpress.com

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Daily Prompt: Cupid’s Arrow/My Wonderful Valentine, Barry Lamar Baynes……..

It’s Valentine’s Day,  so write an ode to someone or something you love, Bonus Points for Poetry
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                    Be my Forever Valentine.                                      graphics-valentine-266187                       

To my sweet, handsome husband!

My forever Valentine

Every year with a simple card, you bring  me to tears. Then you tell me not to do a thing for you, not fair by the way! You stand strong by my side through thick and thin. Lately, we have had more thick than thin, bit you are still by my side; being sweet, compassionate and understanding. I know this is not where we wanted to be when you retire, but here we are together, holding on. Together we can do anything!

The ‘new’ Barry and Jill Baynes are going strong! In our short eight years, we have accomplished more than I ever expected. There is so much out there to do and see, I’m looking forward to our next adventure together. If our health continues to get in the way, we’ll just find our way around it.

I love and admire you more everyday. You make me want to be a better person and I thank you for that. I’m not sure I would have the will to get through all of this without you. Everytime I check, you are still with me.

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You are my rock! You are part of me. You have permanent possession of my heart. I love you. I do not know what I did to deserve you, but it is not our place to question God‘s plan. I’m just glad he brought us together.

I’m looking forward to our road trip tomorrow, even if a doctor is involved. It will be us, together. Thank you for putting up with me when my brain takes over my body. I know it’s not easy. You never make me feel silly or poke fun of me when my left side is acting up. I’m glad I haven’t hurt you. I’ll stop babbling for the moment, honey. Always remember, I love you with all my heart. Please be my FOREVER VALENTINE! You will make my millennium!

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My brilliant Doctor, part 2

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I must tell you about yesterday at the beautiful Emory Campass in Decatur, Georgia. The neurologist report was actually good. He has finally learned that I am sensitive to medication and did not go off on a wild tangent trying different drugs.

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I was actually so happy. It was the first time since 2010 that I received a good report from this guy. I could have kissed then cute little old man. Just adorable. 

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Then, came our second appointment for the day and those words no woman should ever have to hear. There are 2 areas showing on the right side. We are unsure of what one is, but the other appears to be cancer. We need to do a need to do needle biopsies as soon as possible to get some answers.

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We added this to all the other treatments I have scheduled through the next month. I only have a few scheduled: close neck ultrasound, kidney workup and ultrasound, MRI of the brain, MRI of left knee with possible surgery,  MRI of breasts, and now needle biopsies in right breast. I have a busy month of probing and proding.

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Would anyone like to change places?

Daily Prompt: Childhood Revisited

Sure, you turned out pretty good, but is there anything you wish had been different about your childhood? If you have kids, is there anything you wish were different for them?

I am doing my best to decide how to put this in writing. I thought about this all day and have narrowed it down to two things I wish would have been different in my childhood. I’ll do my best not to ramble, please be patient.

My sisters and I had a traditional southern upbringing, dysfunctional family and all. Our parents encouraged us to study, we knew right from wrong, and we loved each other. Mom and dad worked all the time. Mom stayed home until we were old enough to be left home alone and then she started working, She was home when we needed her, or at lease close-by.

Dad left in the mornings before we ever got up and was not home until we were in bed. On the weekends, he worked his secondary business and was home only at night. We had our family nights when dad was home. We actually had breakfast and supper around the dining room table several times a week.

I grew up wanting for nothing.  If we ever wanted anything extravagant, we had to save our money up or wait for a sale. I believe that is where my frugal attitude comes from today!

During the summer months, mom and dad always made sure we stayed busy. I know my way around the Bible, a softball field, a basketball court, and a swimming pool. Mom and dad made it to the important events, but there were times we were on our own.

One of the things I wish could were different from my childhood is going to church as a family, instead of being dropped off at the door to attend services with my sisters. Don’t get me wrong, my sisters and I are close, due to the time we spent together. It would have been nice having mom and dad with us at church. I truly believe that they both believe the Jesus died to save us from our sins, but I cannot help feeling unsure of their salvation.

Mom lives with me now, and attends everything Barry and I attend at church. Dad is a different story. I do not remember the last time I saw him in church for something other than a funeral. His health is declining and he does not get out like he used to, but I know he grew-up in the church. It would have been joyous to have all five of us in church at the same time. Well, the past is the past. All we can do now is look forward.

My second thing I wish could have been different during my childhood is medical technology. From the time I entered kindergarten through high school, I was always sick.

Mom spoiled me rotten and my sisters still pick on me today, because of that.

I was part guinea pig when they thought they had figured out a treatment for allergies. They did all the testing and I suffered through the intramuscular injections for years, before they figured out it could be done with a subcutaneous needle, just under the skin. The nurse’s from the seventies, learned to give an intramuscular injection into the shoulder. There were several times I actually felt the needle hitting the bone. It was so painful. I took the injections without success for years and then refused to go.

In my teenage years I developed female troubles. We let the doctor do the known treatment for my problem at the time and it rendered me unable to have children.

If today’s medical technology had been around in the seventies, maybe I could have had a normal childhood and been able to have kids today. In my world, Claritin is the best invention of the twentieth century. When I was younger, Dristan was it. With today’s medical technology in the past, maybe brain tumor research would be further along today and I wouldn’t need a wheelchair when my legs do not work.

My life has been God‘s plan and it is not my place to question it. I read my Bible and try to stay upbeat and focused. I pray daily and ask for grace and wisdom to help me make it through the day. I exercise to stay strong and keep busy. My blog is my refuge for my feelings and such. It helps me not to hold things in. I write them down. It is very therapeutic to me. My counselor advised me to either do a journal or start a blog.

To summarize, my parents being more involved with my sisters and I at church; as well as, today’s medical technology being available in the seventies, would have made my childhood a better place to be. Honestly, I wouldn’t interfere with God’s plan for my life. I grew up loved and happy. Everything else is all good!

If, if, if, maybe, maybe, maybe…….