Raising Mom

At this point in my life, I never thought I would be taking care of my mother. It is what God has led Barry and I to do, so here we are……raising mom.

She was in a situation, at her new home, that was not a safe. James, her new husband, I say new…..I should have said her husband of four years.

The home he provided was not the best place for her to be. I will not go into details about the situation, but let’s just say mom needs to be with us, than her husband.

Having mom move in has been an experience. She acts like she is afraid of Barry and is trying to raise me again. She treats me like I am ten years old, not 47. 

Having her around, has been amusing, as well as a huge challenge. Mom is a breed of her own. She believes in being treated right and will quickly let you know if she feels if she has been wronged.

I’ve written several posts about mom’s exploits, but believe me….I have only written about the tame ones.

One of my many lessons, since she moved in, was on how to freeze pork chops. Needless to say I have had my kitchen for over 20 years. Guess what? I was doing it the right way! As Gomer Pyle would say, ‘Surprise, surprise’!

Mom and I share a love for gardening and houseplants. I discovered my plants were not looking well and I could not figure out the problem. I found out, Mom trying to helpful, had been watering my plants too! I know, I know…she was just trying to help. There are certain things I am totally capable of doing is handling my plants. After throwing out the plants that were not going to survive and re-potting the others, I am now the only person watering them!

Mom and I sat down and went through the household chores and I have asked for her assistance with a few things and she knows that I will let her know if I need more help!

I have to admit, I love having help with the laundry. I hated laundry before becoming disabled, but I simply adore finding cleans clothes in the closet when I need them. So does Barry.

Mom’s memory is declining, ask her she’ll tell you there isn’t a thing wrong with her or her memory. She is overall in better shape than most people we know.

She doesn’t drive after dark any longer and I set her medications up for her by the week. She wasn’t handling them well. Mom can think at times that she is a doctor and will decide which pills she needs and the ones she doesn’t. I settled that issue and just started doing them for her, hint, hint….

If she needs directions, we get them for her. If I need to go with her to an appointment, I go. Our biggest problem has been her adjustment to living with Barry and I, as well as our adjusting to her.

Mom does not know what the word quiet means, nor does she know how to be that way. I am beginning to think she likes to hear herself talk, because she never STOPS! There is always this constant chatter.

I have a huge family and mom always seems to go on for hours about relatives, never heard of in my lifetime. She can’t find her keys, but she remembers all of these people. After numerous head butts, she is starting to understand that she needs to be a little quieter and not to talk as much in the car.

I enjoy the time I have with her in the mornings, when we first get up. She does all the talking while we watch the news. I’m starting to believe she corners me in the living room on purpose at that time of day. It takes an hour of waking up for my voice to wake up, so I get the pleasure of hearing about her crazy dreams. There are times that it is hard to distinguish whether she is describing a dream or a hallucination.

This morning was a little strange. The first thing she asked this morning was if ‘we had seen it?’. When questioned further, she was talking about a little girl in a rocker floating around house. How so you respond to such?

If I can get mom and Barry on the same page, things would be copacetic in the house. Barry doesn’t like her un-nerving me and questioning everything we do. She is also having to adjust to the ‘New Barry’. My life would more stability  if those two could figure each other out. It’s in God’s hands, I’ve been praying…..