We go tomorrow to get lab results from the second surgery. I’m praying there will be clean margins, if not she csn tell me she can do the mastectomy and chemo/radiation will handle the rest.
Haven’t slept well lately, I’m off to bed to see if I can get some rest. I’ll post news ehen I have it. No news is good newd in my book. Sweet dreams all!
Jill and Barry Baynes
Loss comes in many forms, when you least expect it.
It can mean anything from a loved one to body process, like speech. Loss hurts.
My brain tumor has left my voice weak and I have a lot of trouble speaking. When I have something to say, I feel like I am pushing words out and I can be loud. I cannot help it. I truly cannot help it, nothing hurts more than having people talk over you.
One thing I have learned since becoming disabled, is people are rude. No one has respect for anyone. What has happened to civility?
People do not listen if you have a speech impediment. They automatically discount you as a person, the minute they realize you have a problem. They take what they think you are saying and go with that, even when they have it totally wrong.
It hurts worse when it is those close to you. The pain is worse when someone you love cuts you off mid-sentence without attempting to hear what you have to say. I actually fired someone for insubordinance when they made fun of my voice. It was at a time when Intruly needed the help, but I wasn’t putting up with that type of behavior.
I feel childish complaining. Barry had a stroke in 2011 and mom is in the beginning stages of dementia. In a house full of brain injuries and so many losses, do I have the right to be upset? When I need help with a phone call, should I be given flack or help with a call?
I am becoming used to being disabled, but this part is getting worse and I am struggling with how to handle my home situation!
We live a quiet life at home, not a lot of noise. Noise bothers all of us.
I’m 47 yesrs olf living like a 80 year old. Maybe it will help down the road.
Jill and Barry Baynes
The three of us went for a few groceries this afternoon. Mom needed some milk snd had forgotten to pick it up, so we stopped at our friendly corner Kroger store.
We sat in the car while mom ran in. I pulled the car forward a little to look at a vine they had for sale. Looked like Mini-Black-Eyed Susans. Very cool looking vine and I want one!!!
While checking thenvine out, we didn’t see mom come out of the store and get into another car. She had been sitting there for maybe 10 minutes when the owner of the car appeared. They were curious ad to whom was in their car and started demanding answers loud enough that it got my attention.
Barry hurried out of the car to mom’s rescue as a police car pulled up. Twenty-five minutes later and avstetn lecture from Officer Goodguy, we headed home. Poor mom was shaking like a leaf.
The Officer meant well, but he didn’t tell us anything we were not stressing over already. The car she had gotten in could have taken off with her; she could have walked off, or dhe could have been hurt. Every horrible thing posdible wad running through my mind. Thank the good Lord she was ok.
Jill and Barry Baynes
Ever heard that if you stick a snapping turtle to a person, they will not let go until they hear thunder rumble? Well, let me tell you about a fishing trip when I was 2 years old. My sister Sandy was 4 years old when this occurred.
Pop caught a turtle and let Sandy play with it. For years, Dad had told us all these crazy stories about animals. One of those stories listed above. Mom and dad were not paying attention.Little Miss Sandy decided to try this tale out. When I turned around, quickly, Sandy stuck the turtle to my stomach, right at the top of my ribs.
That turtle latched on, Sandy screamed let it go and ran. I immediately started to bleed and I added to the screaming. Mom put her pole down and came to check on us. A storm was blowing up. At the moment mom reached me, there was a rumble of thunder and that crazy turtle let go and fell to the ground. Mom picked it up and threw it in the water. She yelled at Dad it was time to go. We packed up and headed home. I still have a scar today.
As you can tell, we had a little more freedom as children when we were younger!
Another story took place in our backyard. We had a little plastic pool in the backyard to splash around and cool off. Sandy decided she wanted to teach me how to swim. Mom said that was fine. Sandy and I filled the pool up and got in our swimsuits. Sandy’s idea of teaching me to swim was me on my stomach lying on the bottom of the pool with her sitting on my back. I’m just thankful mom checked on us before I drowned. Needless to say we were not allowed in the pool alone anymore. I still thought my big sister was the coolest thing on earth.
When I think of hope, the saying, “Hope springs eternal” is the first thing that comes to mind. The sad thing about this phrase is it sounds cheerful and sweet, when it means things are hopeless! What a nice way to say something is hopeless. (from Alexander Pope’s poem, “Essay on Man” from 1734)
-Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never is, but always to be blessed:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.
– Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man
Origin of Hope Springs Eternal From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope_Springs_Eternal
Definition of Hope From:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope
How do I write about hope? My best example is my great-niece and nephew’s birthday party. My great-niece is older, so she understood presents a little better than her brother. I love kids, especially my sister’s kids and their grandchildren. Since I was unable to conceive a child, I spoiled my sister’s children with the loudest, most annoying toys I could find. I was younger and in better health with my older sister’s kids, so I was able to spoil her children more than my younger sister. But I’m having fun with them now, they are older and understand my illness better.
Julie-bug is my oldest sister’s daughter. I have recently discovered that she doesn’t care if we give her kiddo’s noisy toys, Soooooooo…….watch-out Bugs, you may not know what your quiet Uncle Barry is capable of. He is a prankster in disguise. My oldest sister’s brother’s do not have children yet, so their time will come. We cannot wait!
The party we went to was precious. My niece has turned into Super Mom! She is so creative and always has been. Home-made everything from decorations to the cake. She is Wonder Woman. I am so proud. She has always made me feel like a special part of her life and I feel honored that she has let me be part of her life! She has accepted Barry as her uncle as if he had been around her entire life. It thrills Barry to be a part of her kids lives. Luke too, of course. Julie did a super job in that department also. Her hubby is a sweetheart and treats her like a gem!
OK, back to the party……our little nephew would open his gifts, play with the toy for a while and on to the next gift. When he got to the last of the gifts and the only thing left was paper. He searched every inch of the paper, numerous times, looking for another present. Until his sweet mommy picked the paper up, he was positive there was another gift lost in all that paper. When Julie took the paper away, he had a look of sheer disappointment on his sweet little face. Just adorable!
About 30 minutes later, he found the bag of gift wrap. By the time he was found, he was upside down in the trash can still looking through the paper. When he was pulled out of the can, all he said was “Birthday, please”. The can had to be removed from the room.
I love kids. I would have had a houseful if I could have, but Barry and I are enjoying being Aunt Gege and Uncle Bear! All six niece’s and nephews have called us that. I’m still called Gege by the 30 year olds. They are still adorable. We love you guys! I hope this is a good example of Hope. A little boy’s Hope that there were more presents. Adorable! I am a little prejudiced.
6 Word Saturday Button
I love the weather in Georgia!
Jill and Barry Baynes
Love, word with many different forms.
Jill and Barry Baynes
Thanks for everything you did!
Thank you for everything you do to aid those of us dealing with this daily! God Bless you all!
Jill and Barry Baynes
my momma
Mom is struggling.
She regrets so much in life
She is worried about her husband, but the home wasn’t safe for either of them to live.
Sleep with a gun on your bedside table, not feeling comfortable in your home or around your husband’s family.
She doesn’t understand why her problem started.
Bipolar Disease and Lewy Body Dementia?
I’m not sick, where did this come from?
The doctors have spoken with her, but her brain can no longer fully understand.
Feels like the old her is slipping away.
Fighting her independence, fear slipping in.
The unknown is scary.
Accepting her daughters and son-in-laws as caregivers and protectors.
Barry and I are helpful and supportive, she doesn’tbknow how to accept assistance or be humble when needed,
This is not the way it should go.
She dreads becoming a burden, even though everyone tells her she isn’t, We also love her dearly.
She feels like nothing is wrong, until the terror sets in at night.
Hallucinations and living out dreams with family long gone.
Should be scary, but she enjoys seeing her visitors.
Mom hates medication, but it is working beautifully. Big improvementd, no more driving.
She’ll adapt, she didn’t need to drive anyway. She used to be a wee-bit scary behind the wheel
Life with mom, our big adventure.
Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?
Photographers, show us YOU. See photo gallery after post! Thank you!!
Good, bad and ugly….this is me……I pester people taking bad pictures of them, so one has chosen to pay me back. He knows, payback will be coming. Of course, that I have changed a lot since getting sick. Please do not laugh too hard!
Not only do I take terrible pictures, but I have a group of nick names I have collected through the years: Jilligan(because I am clumsy…..Jilligan-Gilligan), silly Jilly, Jillene, Chicken Legs, and my old favorite: four-eyes.
I was named after absolutely no one and my parents didn’t think of middle names, when we were born. They wanted us to pick out our own. When we chose what we liked, we then went through the legal process to have our names changed. It was a learning experience and kinda cool!
Jill and Barry Baynes
Two Rights Attempting To Make A Left! 
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