Category Archives: sisters

My mother’s appetite

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Today, we arrived at my sister’s home to sit with pop while Kristie took Little Man to an appointment. The minute mom walked in the house, she had a plate of what Kristie was cooking for supper and had made herself comfy at the dining room table. It was getting late, so they rushed off to the apointment.

The minute they walked back in the house, mom sat her drink down next to her bag of candy. She headed straight for the kitchen again. She returned with a bowl of bean soup and cornbread. After that, she returned with a slice of cornbread. She said she wasn’t full yet, so she made a ham sandwich for the road. She finished the sandwich before she left and went after the cornbread again. My sister asked me to get her out of there, so she didn’t have to bake more bread.

All of this eating took place in about 10 minutes. I took her bowl away and said it is time to go mom. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

Parents: Raising them

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Currently my father continues to have spells of v-fib and passing out. For some reason, his implanted pacemaker/defibrillator does not fire properly. 

I received a call from my sister, that it has happened again and he is in an ambulance on the way back to the hospital. She did not know his status once in the ambulance, but was on the way to the Emergency Room. She told me to stay home and take care of myself, that she swears she will call as soon as she has news.

I had a chemotherapy treatment last friday and a hospital emergency room is the last place I need to be at the moment. I’m exhausted and my bones ache like crazy, so I’m going to kick my feet up and rest.

My mother appears to be having an issue with the amount of attention my dad is getting from the three of us. She has a doctor’s follow-up after cataract surgery scheduled tomorrow. I asked if it was ok to reschedule, so I could be there with Kristie to help sign him into hospice. Mom agreed and went to her part of the house to makeba call.

When I went to tell her it was rescheduled, she was on the phone complaining that we are ignoring her needs and not getting her where she needs to be. She was talking to one of her sisters.

This is totally untrue. My dad is not well and not expected to live. I just do not get this childish stuff.  I know she has an ilness affecting her thought processes, but it is not exactly the same.

I asked her to please verbalize if she has an issue with a schedule change. She says she will. What else do we do?

My Sisters, Wonder Woman in disguise…..Bet you never knew there were three

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I am the middle child of three girls. We grew up in a small-town called Winder, Georgia, in the late seventies into the eighties. We are quite a mix, but we make it work. We all have excessively busy lives. We live within 30 minutes of each other and hardly ever see one another.

I’ll start with the oldest, Sandy, Wonder Women number one. She is hardworking, smart,detail oriented, sweet, loving, caring, kind-hearted, meticulous, adores her children and grandchidren, keeps an emmaculate home, takes incredible care of her husband, whom is wheelchair-bound from a spinal cord tumor. Dennis gets around and takes care of himdelf during the day, he even drives. He manages several household chores and always makes sure Sandy has a hot meal ready at night. She is the secretary at her church and drives a school bus for the county they live in.

She likes things done her way or no way; she doesn’t care to see things go wrong; she believes it is ok to plan gatherings the day before she wants to have it; she tells you what time something will start or what time she will arrive, but is always on average two hours late; but on the other hand. She has my love and respect, but I have to admit, I do not know how she does it. I would have packedup and run away a long time ago. She is one tired, incredible woman and I love her dearly. 

Our relationship has changed since I got sick. I miss the relationship Sandy and I had. We will probably never get it back. I had enough trouble accepting the “new me”, how can I expect others to understand and accept the changes I deal with daily. I just want to be included. If I am able, I’ll be there!

Brain injuries make a person vulnerable to infections and other things that could be deadly. That fact has kept me closer to home in the past few years. I’m a great aunt, now. I’d love to be able to play and have fun with them, just as I did her kids growing up. We had some great times.

Enough of that. Let’s get to Wonder Women number two, my younger sister, Kristie. Kristie is sweet, kind-hearted, loving, caring, smart, adores her dhildren and husband, focused, detail-oriented, hard-working, and is currently using her super powers to take care of father, who is gravely ill. Sandy snd I have helped when we could, but it hasn’t been close to enough to give her a break.

Kristie surprised me after I had brain surgery, she visited daily for a few weeks and cooked several meals, so we wouldn’t have to worry about it. She helped get me to rehab when Barry had a conflict. This was so sweet. Not that she hasn’t been sweet in the past,  Barry and I just were not expecting it. Thank you, Kris!

Kristie has a quick temper and let you know when she thinks you are wrong. I did not witness this, but she took a 6’6″ man to the ground and beat him up. Mom called her a “lightening bolt” when getting her up for school in our younger days. She still carries a bolt in her back pocket.

I love both my sisters with all my heart and will do anything in the world for both of them. Thank you both for being there when I have needed you! I could not have gotten better sisters if I had ordered them from a catalog. God truly blessed me in the sister department! Thank you, Dear Lord for my sisters!

When it is our turn to be the parent

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As many of you know, my mother lives with Barry and I. The task has gotten easier, but it makes it tough on the relationship between the three of us. Mom doesn’t want to take ownership of her illness and when Barry and I do things to assist her level of function; she accuses us of treating her like a child.

With her memory becoming an issue, she has become difficult to handle in public on certain days. I have to judge her mood before we go out of the house. We had an issue at Wal-Mart, when Barry and I were not getting to her shopping list fast enough. It was quite interesting to have your mother screaming in a public place, becsuse she did not want to forget the cat food.

At church, several Sundays ago, in the middle of Worship Service mom had a question pop in her head for the Pastor. Durng the middle of the sermon, she got up and headed for the pulpit. The Pastor motioned for someone to take her aside to see if they could help. I froze, when I saw what she was doing. I was unsure of what to do or if I should do anything. The Pastor saved the day.

At home, things are working better becauee we have a set routine. Mom is learning to use the whiteboard and makes a list daily of things she would like to accomplish. When we have downtime, I suggest a task for the day that will keep her busy. Mom is helping us do the cooking, she loves to cook and really loves making us eat right. Barry is enjoying having her around finally. If we can speed up her getting ready to go time, life will get even better. Her vurrent get ready speed is around three hours.

On a different note, my father was admitted to the hospital again yesterday. His health is failing fast. It breaks my heart to see him so weak. He has such a strong will and is losing it quickly. Please send a few prayers his way. We can use all we can get!

Mom
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Pop
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Personal Prayer Request

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I believe in the power of prayer. I have seen too many things in my lifetime that proves there is. On this date, I am asking that everyone pray for my father, Lee Van Hayes. He received some extremely bad news from his doctor today. I think we were all expecting it, even dad, but hearing those words are not easy. WordPress Blogs are full of love and kindness, with a few freaky things added in. I’d love it if I could take my computer to Pop and show him all the well wishes received from my fellow bloggers.

WordPress reaches tons of people. It would be such a wondrous thing to get at least half the people, in our blogosphere, saying a little prayer for one special man. I know he is not special to everyone, but he is to my family and his friends. My dad doesn’t meet strangers, he likes everyone. He is just the biggest sweetheart on earth! My family, as well as Barry and I would greatly appreciate any small wish of good health or just a hope you are feeling better soon.

We are to the point that prayer is the answer. Dad is in God‘s hands and he will take care of him. Thank you in advance for anything you say!

If my comments section is not working yet, please use the email available for my blog: geegeebear3@gmail.com.

Have a bless day!

Barry and Jill

and the family of LeeVan Hayes

English: The logo of the blogging software Wor...

English: The logo of the blogging software WordPress. Deutsch: WordPress Logo 中文: WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Another Mom moment….Love ’em

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While mowing the grass yesterday,  I was unable to make a sharp turn and I think I hit Mom’s pineapple tree she is attempting to grow in our Georgia red clay!

While discussing that I may have hit it with her, she appeared a little sleepy. I was attempting to apologize, when Mom looked at me funny. I asked what was wrong and she asked me why I was in her refrigerator with the lawnmower. Then proceeded tomtell me to leave her pineapple alone. She told me she was trying to grow her own, but it might take awhile.

It was like the light bulb over her head turned on and shebstarted lsughing. She then asked where thst came from and requested we get her home quick. She said she needed to nap badly. Two minutes later, she was sound asleep.

I just love that goofy women!

Jill and Barry Baynes

Not sure this is an Urban Legend, but I found out it is true….the hard way!

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Ever heard that if you stick a snapping turtle to a person, they will not let go until they hear thunder rumble? Well, let me tell you about a fishing trip when I was 2 years old. My sister Sandy was 4 years old when this occurred.

Pop caught a turtle and let Sandy play with it. For years, Dad had told us all these crazy stories about animals. One of those stories listed above. Mom and dad were not paying attention.Little Miss Sandy decided to try this tale out. When I turned around, quickly, Sandy stuck the turtle to my stomach, right at the top of my ribs.

That turtle latched on, Sandy screamed let it go and ran. I immediately started to bleed and I added to the screaming. Mom put her pole down and came to check on us. A storm was blowing up. At the moment mom reached me, there was a rumble of thunder and that crazy turtle let go and fell to the ground. Mom picked it up and threw it in the water. She yelled at Dad it was time to go. We packed up and headed home. I still have a scar today.

As you can tell, we had a little more freedom as children when we were younger!

 

Another story took place in our backyard. We had a little plastic pool in the backyard to splash around and cool off. Sandy decided she wanted to teach me how to swim. Mom said that was fine. Sandy and I filled the pool up and got in our swimsuits. Sandy’s idea of teaching me to swim was me on my stomach lying on the bottom of the pool with her sitting on my back. I’m just thankful mom checked on us before I drowned. Needless to say we were not allowed in the pool alone anymore. I still thought my big sister was the coolest thing on earth.

Writing through Cancer for week of June 2, 2013: Hope is a thing with feathers!

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When I think of hope, the saying, “Hope springs eternal” is the first thing that comes to mind. The sad thing about this phrase is it sounds cheerful and sweet, when it means things are hopeless! What a nice way to say something is hopeless. (from Alexander Pope’s poem, “Essay on Man” from 1734)

-Hope springs eternal in the human breast;

Man never is, but always to be blessed:

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

– Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man

Origin of Hope Springs Eternal From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope_Springs_Eternal

Definition of Hope From:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope

How do I write about hope? My best example is my great-niece and nephew’s birthday party. My great-niece is older, so she understood presents a little better than her brother. I love kids, especially my sister’s kids and their grandchildren. Since I was unable to conceive a child, I spoiled my sister’s children with the loudest, most annoying toys I could find. I was younger and in better health with my older sister’s kids, so I was able to spoil her children more than my younger sister. But I’m having fun with them now, they are older and understand my illness better.

Julie-bug is my oldest sister’s daughter. I have recently discovered that she doesn’t care if we give her kiddo’s noisy toys, Soooooooo…….watch-out Bugs, you may not know what your quiet Uncle Barry is capable of. He is a prankster in disguise. My oldest sister’s brother’s do not have children yet, so their time will come. We cannot wait!

The party we went to was precious. My niece has turned into Super Mom! She is so creative and always has been. Home-made everything from decorations to the cake. She is Wonder Woman. I am so proud. She has always made me feel like a special part of her life and I feel honored that she has let me be part of her life! She has accepted Barry as her uncle as if he had been around her entire life. It thrills Barry to be a part of her kids lives. Luke too, of course. Julie did a super job in that department also. Her hubby is a sweetheart and treats her like a gem!

OK, back to the party……our little nephew would open his gifts, play with the toy for a while and  on to the next gift. When he got to the last of the gifts and the only thing left was paper. He searched every inch of the paper, numerous times,  looking for another present. Until his sweet mommy picked the paper up, he was positive there was another gift lost in all that paper. When Julie took the paper away, he had a look of sheer disappointment on his sweet little face. Just adorable!

About 30 minutes later, he found the bag of gift wrap. By the time he was found, he was upside down in the trash can still looking through the paper. When he was pulled out of the can, all he said was “Birthday, please”. The can had to be removed from the room.

I love kids. I would have had a houseful if I could have, but Barry and I are enjoying being Aunt Gege and Uncle Bear! All six niece’s and nephews have called us that. I’m still called Gege by the 30 year olds. They are still adorable. We love you guys! I hope this is a good example of Hope. A little boy’s Hope that there were more presents. Adorable! I am a little prejudiced.