Tag Archives: God

Daily Prompt: Earworm

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What song is stuck in your head (or on permanent rotation in your CD  or MP3 player) these days? Why does it speak to you?

My favorite Christmas Song has been in my head all morning. I guess I can understand the reasoning going on inside my lopsided brain.

My life is in God’s hands. He has a plan for all of us and it is not ours to question. There is a reason He has me enduring these medical issues. I’ll never know why, I’ll just be myself and fight!

The lyrics to the song from the “Sound of Music” are cheery and have a peppy little tune. The song lyrics are about going from sad to glad and I really need to keep my attitude in the glad place for the next few days.

The urologist will be going over my MRI he ordered after his incidental findings during my kidney ultrasound. So you can see why a glad attitude could be a huge benefit over the next few days. 

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My Favorite Things by Maria
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

[Repeat all verses]

 

Personal Prayer Request

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I’ve known this possibility exist for some time, but I was busy being positive this wouldn’t happen that it snuck up on me.

I found out I have breast cancer this morning. I can’t decide how I feel at the moment other than a little mad. I haven’t been able to do more than shed a tear or two, but when I feel the crying coming on, I’ll lock myself in my bedroom and let it fly.

The past few years, dealing with Cowden’s Syndrome and all the health issues it entails, I’ve felt like there is no way I can get cancer. Now I have to change my attitude to there is no way this cancer is going to get me! I’m actually angry. I guess that is where my fighting spirit comes from.

I’m worried about Barry and the stress he is putting himself through.This could have waited another year. He’d at least be two weeks post-stroke. I’m trying to be strong in front of him. He doesn’t need the worry. But I need him too!

Well, I need to write my usual weekend posts, so I’ll stop babbling.

If you are a praying person, please add me to your list. I need as many prayers as I can get. Thanks for your support!

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Daily Prompt: History of Language

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Write a piece of fiction describing the incident that gave rise to the phrase, “third time’s the charm.”

Barry and I sat attempting to put a table together, we had purchased. The directions appeared to be useless and there were a million parts to organize into one table. We were starting to have regrets.

He got a bit angry with me for making a suggestion, so I got up and left it for him. Before leaving, I handed him the directions and strongly suggested that he read them, from cover to cover.

After a while, Barry called me back to help. I  went willingly. He may be grumpy teddy bear when being told how to do something, but he really just wants a little help and doesn’t know how to ask for it.

I like to think God was working on his heart when he got grumpy and then called me back for help.

The first thing I did was ask if he had read the directions, yet! When he giggled and took the book from me, was God whispering in his ear to listen to his wife?

We worked together for an hour and the table turned out perfect.

Is this where the saying, “third time’s the charm” came from?

First, we tried together.

Second, he got angry and I ran off.

Third, he asked for my help, read the directions and the table is perfect.

God works in mysterious ways! Was He telling Barry to ask his wife for help?

Cowden Syndrome rearing it’s ugly head

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Barry is the most patient human being on earth. Either, God is giving him strength or he is hiding his fear really well. We are currently waiting to see a doctor for results of an abdominal/pelvic MRI.

During my renal ultrasound, they discovered something on my liver. The doctor’s answer was it is just an incidental finding, we’ll get an MRI to check it out. He thought he was easing my anxiety.Nope….just made it worse….why don’t they get that?

If they were honest enough to just say it could be this or this…..why not do more test to rule it out…..would have made me feel better……but since when is the patient supposed to feel good after seeing a doctor?

Other than that, even though the breast biopsy was negative. They are still investigating the cause of the problem. Another MRI this weekend and appointments all next week to get results and such.

My body is acting crazy and I can’t get a return call from a doctor to save my life. I am also experiencing a new symptom of cowden syndrome, that no one wants to help me with. These doctors wonder why people get depressed. I have a rare genetic disorder that actually scares the doctors treating me.

Barry is being a supportive dream. I am a fussy mess, he just tells me to relax and go sit down. I love that man.

I’m doing the paperwork to join the study at the Cleveland Clinic. Not sure it will do me a bit of good, but maybe it will help someone else dealing with this mess.

I need to go for now, have a few contacts to make. I think I have diverticulitis again. I have to call my doctor. I need to do paperwork for myself and mom. Have a great day everyone.

Barry and I didn’t know how to act yesterday. We saw a movie and had lunch out without dealing with a doctor’s office.

 

Please Forgive My Absence

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Please forgive my absence for the past few days. Imagine the nerve of life getting in the way. I’ll admit I let the “poor pitiful me’s” get in the way. When my favorite urologist found my new problem, my mood kinda hit the toilet with a big splash. I’ve had 2 days of sulking and I’m tired of being the only “stick in the mud” at the party.

Time for a reality check. Yes, I am sick. Yes, I hurt all day everyday. Yes, I have to see a lot of doctors. But………I love the Lord, I adore my husband, I have a loving, happy, sometimes screwed family, I have 2 great pets (a dog that thinks she is human and a fish that will come to the top of the bowl when called), I have a great life.

Why I let myself get all down and depressed, I’ll never understand. One doctor I see told me to quit worrying about getting upset. He said it’s not like I don’t have a million things to worry about.

Maybe all this studying and work I’ve done, on turning my issues over to the Lord, is working. It was much easier to turn this over to God, than in the past. I really think that listening and learning in church is the way to go. Growing up, I was more concerned with who was at church, than what I was learning. I’m learning a lot at Victory Baptist Church, they are such a truly incredible group of people.

Tomorrow is the MRI of my abdomen and pelvis. I’m praying that whatever Dr. M saw on my liver is no longer there. Please think of me tomorrow, Barry and I can use all the prayers we can get.

 

Pop and his pants

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My father, known lovingly as. Pop, is quite a character. He is fun-loving and just a happy,  jolly man nothing appears to bother

Not long ago, at a little hole in the wall restaurant, you will not believe what happened. Pop has always appeared to have an active radar for little off-beat restaurants.

We had lunch without a hitch, surprisingly good food. Pop got up to go pay the bill. While standing at the register, I looked up in time to see pop‘s short’s fall to the floor. Thank goodness he had taken time for underpants.

I watched him scratch his head, as he looked around the room. Yes, everyone had noticed. When he realized everyone knew; he leaned over, shining plumber’s crack to the room and pulled them up rather quickly.

Once back in the car, he asked us to remind him to get a belt when he gets home. I do not believe we ever saw Pop in that pair of shorts again. I do know we never stopped at that restaurant again. It was a shame, the food was really good.

When Life Hands You Something You Really Do Not Want To Do

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OK, I love the Lord, my home, my life, my family, my dog and even my little fish. I would do anything in the world for them.

I was forced into doing the hardest thing I have ever done in my life recently. All joking aside, I found this task extremely hard to deal with, but I did it! The problem wasn’t going away, I had to do something. My mother is my mother and I had to do the right thing. I have to admit, that I was a bit scared.

Growing up with mom wasn’t the easiest task on earth, but I lived. Mom and pop did a great job with the three of us. I was a breeze to raise, the other two….well, mom and pop survived. Now today, the other two faint at the site of blood and I’m a nurse.

My sisters are two of the most strong-willed, engaging and hard-working women I know. They are also, great mothers; which has allowed me to be the best aunt on earth. 

It was Mom. She didn’t want to go to the hospital and I had to take her.Well, Barry and I took her.  My mother prefers to doctor herself and she refuses to admit she isn’t as young as she once was. It’s time to slow down a little. Mom isn’t crazy about doctors or hospitals, but she is doing fine. She survived. 

I wasn’t able to have children and I feel like I’ve become my mother’s mother! It was really hard to leave her there. I wasn’t sure about our relationship, but leaving her there made me hurt. I guess that is what motherhood feels like?

She is home and doing better. She is hassling me about exercise class and wants to go to Starbucks for coffee. Says she wants to give it a try and she misses her exercise class. I guess I’ll have to take her over to the gym and I’ll deal with the rowdy roosters gawking at the class from the upstairs windows.

 

I Wanna Run Away!

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Please, someone tell me when it is okay to run away. I’m not sure how much more I can take before I crack. 

I live the “Life of Riley“. Honestly, I not sure what that means. Was it a TV show? Radio show? Cartoon? I’m going to look it up. The situations I’ve heard it used in usually involved someone having it made; not in need of anything; someone spoiled rotten. All of the above, at times, can describe my life.

I live in a beautiful home with the perfect husband and family pets. We have one boxer and one fish. One step-son that keeps his distance.

My husband and I are raising my mother. It can be a challenge at times. But we make it.

We are far from well off or rich, but we are comfy. A lot of people today can’t say that. It really hurts Barry and I to see others struggle. We help when we can, but keeping up with medical bills will eat you alive. 

Since 2009, Barry and I have run from doctor to doctor trying to figure my illness out. It is starting to feel like a waste of time. Every time I see a physician, something else is wrong.

Is this a never-ending battle? Is all the running around doing a bit of good? I guess I’m a little tired of being sick. I feel like my life is falling apart and I’m not sure what to do.

That doctor, last week, really threw me for a loop. Just uttering those 2 little words has my head in the toilet.

It was like the day the doctor told me about the brain tumor. “Oh by the way, you have a brain tumor.” That is how he told me. He added a few other things to it, but that was enough to shatter my world. My head was in a spin then, and it is spinning like a top now.

I’m not going to do anything stupid. God has kept me around for s reason. I have too much life left to live to do anything stupid, I’m just trying to write this down to see if it will shake me out of this funk.

I should be sleeping . Big birthday party tomorrow. Going to be a long day, I need my rest. Barry is snoring in the chair next to me as I type. Maggie is snoring on the couch. Maybe I should follow suit and go to sleep. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I’m trying to turn mine around. Be sweet!

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My New Least Favorite Words on Earth: Incidental Findings

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Dr. M, my now urologist, seems like a very good doctor with a great personality/bedside manner. My appointment today went great. The kidney ultrasound is good, with one little issue to follow. Otherwise Dr. M. says my kidney’s are beautiful. Awwww, how sweet. They better be! About the only organ I have left that functions correctly.

What gets me about Cowdens Syndrome is the unknown. Today, I’m told I actually have an organ that is functioning properly, but we need to watch this “one” little spot. We want to make sure it isn’t something forming that shouldn’t be where it is. So, my roller coaster of doctors continues.

On top of the little spot that needs watching on the right kidney. It appears there is an incidental finding on my liver. He would  like to schedule an MRI, to get a better look. So, more tests, more waiting and more unknowns.

I feel like I am fussing about what is going on in my body. I truly believe that Jesus died to save us from our sins. I believe that the Good Lord has a plan for us and we shouldn’t question that plan. My life is in his hands and I am not exactly how to hand my troubles over to the Lord and not worry.

After my appointment today, I wasn’t what I would call questioning things, but I was so frustrated with the news that it brought me to tears. When I got to a private place, I asked the Lord for the grace and strength I need to make it through all of this news. My fears eased.

It is just so incredibly hard to deal with all of this. Today, I felt like the robot from “Lost in Space“.Turning in circles, arms flopping, thinking, “fix me Will Robinson, fix me!” If it were only that easy.

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