Working Together To Make Life Work

Barry and I have come upon a challenge. We are having a communication issue. After everything Barry endured since August, his response time on everything is a slower.

We butheads when trying to have a conversation and when he is driving. He has never liked being told what to do, but now…..WOW! He snaps a any suggestions and he doesn’t let me finish sentences. I speak slowly at times and other times, my brain doesn’t let the right words out. Leading us to an occasional argument.

We have worked a system out to keep our cool with each other. It all involves redisvovering the quality we both possess “patience”. If he us not letting get words out, I let him know or gently remind him to be patient when I am having difficulties.

Unless I feel like I need to say something to him about his response, I don’t and will bring the topic up later when it can be discussed calmly. As his body heals and all the medications are out of his system, his responses will get closer to normal.

Everyone responds to anesthesia differently and he has been under general anesthesia 3 times since August 2013 with his chest opened up four times. My radiation treatments ended the day he was admitted for the last surgery. We both have a bit of healing to do!

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Words I Did Not Want to Hear!

My friendly, neurologist was pleasant this visit. He always is. I just do not like what he has to say.

Over the past few weeks, my balance has disappeared.  I have fallen numerous times and have trouble standing.

He is only telling me what I need to hear. The Good Lord has a plan for everyone and I am not meant to know what that plan is; but Dr. D is part of that plan. I do not need to argue with him. God led me to Emory and their doctors, I need to be a good patient and listen.

It was suggested I start taking a drug again, that helped with my balance previously. The effects eventually slowed down and I received no help from the drug. It was discontinued at some point last year.

An evaluation for a power chair was ordered. Our insurance changed with the new year. I was approved by the old company. We will see what this one has to say.

I do not like the feeling that my body is ready for a chair, but I cannot keep falling. I ache from head to toe now. If the falling continues, I will either do some serious damage or hit my head on something and be in big trouble. So, I listen to the good doctor and learn how to adapt a powerchair into our daily life. I have adapted harder issues, this should be a breeze.

God will grant me the strength and wisdom to deal with the situation. I have faith and no doubt I will adjust.  I’m not throwing the towel in yet……I wonder if I can get a pink chair……..?

Mammograms

I recently had the follow-up mammogram to complete my breast cancer treatment. After the chemo/radiation, women are usually put on Tamoxifen(sp) for DCIS.

My bloodclot history led the doctor to a different drug to turn my ovaries off, Zolodex. My cancer was Estrogen fed, so my ovaries do not need to be producing more. The next step will be removing my ovaries, so that Estrogen can no longer float through my body looking for something to play with.

It was the most painful procedure I have ever lived through.

It was worth the painful smashing to discover I am cancer free!

The Driveway Doesn’t Taste Good At All!

A few nights ago, a mechanic was repairing the car. When he got it running, I got a little excited and forgot where I was standing. I stepped forward to hug on bear and fell flat on my face.

I landed on the edge of my wrist, jarring my arms and shoulders. Left no skin on my right elbow and knee. That injury is meant for childhood. IT HURTS, Bad! Landing on my knees jarred both hips. I believe I have discovered what severe arthritis feelings like. I actually make exclamations when sitting and standing. My entire body feels jarred and painful.

Mom suggested soaking in Epsom Salt. It lasted one hour. I went to town after soaking and almost fell out of the Jeep when I put pressure on my left hip. I have been applying heat, ice snd taking Aleve. I hope to be able to move easier daily. It hasn’t happened yet, but I will get there.

2014: Week One and all is well!

Ok, so this is supposed to be a healthier year. So far, we are good, but the house and other things around us are starting to show a teeny bit of neglect.

When Barry retired, we purchased a good used car. A diesel, that has decided it doesn’t like to move in the past two days. We have a mechanic coming tomorrow. There is a way to get us to clean the garage out. Let us need it for the car. Imagine actually parking your car in the garage. I cannot wait to see how it feels. I’ve always had carports, big woop parking in a carport. Cannot wait to try our garage out!

Last year, while Barry and I were in the road; our home was neglected. The oven is fried; the recent cold weather, did something to the LP tank and we had a leak of sorts; 2 toilets need to be re-worked (I intend to attempt fixing those tomorrow); we arevstarting to lookmlike a warehouse instewd of a home;

Barry and I have started clearing things out to make a donation to the church thrift store; I plan to schedule a guy tomorrow to have a down-sizing sale sometime soon; the back deck/ramp needs work; the posts on the front and side porches need work and we have standing water under the house.

Don’t get me started on the gardening that needs doing. The shrubs are overgrown, the mulch has disappeared,  the weeds from the overgrown pasture next door are taking over one bed. A ramp needs to be built out the front door and rails put on the stairs. The back porch isn’t essential to get done, but a stable rail would be nice.

We are working on finances, attempting to get organized. Hopefully, we can get stated on the house soon. Ooops…. menopause momemt kicking in, time for a cold drink.

I still say I do not have resolutions, I have a re-aquaint/non-neglect list for Barry and I to work on.

2014: A New Year, A New Start

I’ve decided not to create a list of resolutions this year. They never come to be and I end up wasting time and energy on something that will never be.

Barry and I have decided to focus our year on becoming closer to God, getting healthier, and eating healthier. Changing a few of our habits will assist in all aspects of our plan.

Making a commitment to service at the church is our first goal, but we first need to be healthy enough to participate. We are researching which exercise plan to best suit our needs and we are currently reading Dr. Oz’s challenge for weight loss and eating healthy this year.

Barry snd I are devoting time to each other to spend time reading the bible snd having prayer/devotions together. I really enjoy our time together. With his health in such a fragile state, every moment together is priceless.

Barry and mom are getting on better. Mom has been here with us through everytjing. She may feel like she has only babysat the dog, but she is wrong. She has given us peace knowing the dog and house are ok. It feels good to start the New Year off with the two of them getting along.

My sister’s are getting more involved with mom. It makes her feel good to spend time with them. At the end of the month, she is going to her sister’s house in Florida. She is looking forward to it. At some point, during spring, she will be spending time with another sister in North Carolina. She’s going to be tired.

Hopefully, Barry and I will get a little quality time away from home. A vacation has not been possible since 2009. Could this be the year?

A recap of 2013 and it is behind us! On with a brighter, healthier year! Have a healthy, safe 2014 everyone!

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Photo taken Friday, December 27, 2013 at my sister’s house! Aren’t we lovely?

1/17- Jill’s genetic disorder confirmed
1/18- Jill referred to high risk breast center at Emory; 4th follow-up mammogram cleared from 2012
2/18-Pop in hospital after defibrillator went off at shop
2/20- lump discovered
2/21- mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy completed.MRI Scheduled.
2/28-core biopsy done, Pop home from Hospital
3/3- Barry retired to be home with me and due to stroke
3/4- DCIS diagnosis (breast cancer) received and surgery scheduled.
3/8-Pop back to hospital
3/15- surgery scheduled
3/18-Pop home
3/30-surgery, lump removed and margins cleaned
4/3- 9th wedding anniversary
4/15-2nd surgery, margins needed to be cleared
again
4/19- Pop back to hospital
4/20- spoke with hospice concerning Pop
4/30-3rd surgery, margins still not clear; Pop home from hospital
5/6-appointment with Medical Oncologist to discuss options.  Lab work to determine type of chemotherapy/radiation needed.
6/6- Port inserted for chemo, another surgery
6/7- Chemo started
6/28-Chemo
7/10- Barry stroke doctor
7/18-Jill appointment
7/19-Chemo
7/24-meeting with Hospice, Pop admitted to Hospice.
8/7-Barry passed out at home, to Eastside Mefical by Ambulance; admitted
8/8- overnight transferred to ICU and then transferred to Saint Joseph’s Hospital
8/9- last chemo
8/12-Pacemaker surgery
8/14- received phone call, 3 hours before Barry’s surgery, that my Father had passed away from Congestive Heart Failure. Valve replacement surgery and abscess clean-up
8/28-discharged home
9/9-admitted to Saint Joseph’s Hospital
9/20-discharged home
10/10-started radiation (M-F for 33 treatments)
10/11-radiation
10/14-radiation
10/14-admitted to Saint Joseph’s Hospital
10/15-radiation
10/16-radiation
10/17-radiation
10/18-radiation
10/21-radiation
10/22-radiation
10/23-radiation
10/24-radiation
10/25-radiation, discharged home
10/28-radiation
10/29-radiation
10/30-radiation
10/31-radiation
11/1-radiation
11/4-radiation
11/5-radiation
11/6-radiation
11/7-radiation
11/8-radiation
11/11-radiation
11/12-radiation
11/13-radiation, Barry admitted to Gwinnett Medical Center; after 3 days discharged. Got sick on the way home, taken to Northside Hospital ER. Transferred to St. Joseph’s Hospital for admission (Jill’s birthday)
11/14-radiation
11/15-radiation
11/18-radiation
11/19-radiation
11/20-radiation
11/21-radiation
11/22-radition, discharged from hospital. Sent home for holiday to prepare for surgery before Christmas
11/25-radiation
11/26-radiation
11/27-radiation
11/28-radiation
11/29-radiation
12/1-radiation
12/2-radiation
12/3-radiation
12/4-radiation
12/5-last radiation treatment completed prior to Barry’s admission. Admitted to Saint Joseph’s Hospital in preparation for surgery on 12/9.
12/17-discharged home from the hospital after surgery.
12/19-Home Health following IV infusions to treat endocarditis

What are they teaching in Medical and Nursing Schools these days?

This admission was one pain in the rear after another! I’m not going to waste my time discussing the service and miscommunications that went on. The only thing that matters is we are home, nice and comfy getting into a routine of follow-ups. But I am starting to believe there will be no peace after this operation.

The home health agency is starting up now. But they are not going to stress me out either. I have had it with medical staff. So I am going to take care of Barry, better than he took care of me. He deserves the best!

Thank the dear Lord above, Barry is alive and healthy. The fluid was a bit slow to start coming off, but he has started dropping fluid like a leaky bucket at a watering hole. You know how kids grow so fast you can’t keep them in clothes, well….my Barry is doing the opposite. He is shrinking. I thought a large sweatpant would work, they look like ssomeone moved out of the rear of his sweats.

He at least has some color and is feeling better. The hospital issues are behind us. That is where they need to stay. Barry, Mom, Maggie and I are comfy and safe at home

True Love and Commitment

Is true love, commitment, and faith a thing of the past?  Does anyone today know the meaning of these simple words? I’m not sure they do! There are many definitions available for the words listed above. It is up to you to decide which one best suits your needs. Of course, my opinion is what it is, mine3.

I guess it could be in God’s plan that certain people remain alone;

but I am a true believer! You have to want someone to find them and be friendly with the words compromise, faith and trust! For a very long time, I ran when22 those words came into a conversation. After my first husband, words like those, brought the scaredy cat out in me.

 

As I sit at my husband’s bedside; not knowing what the next minute will bring; I feel sad for so many people. Today’s generation of kids, will never know or understand the feeling of loving someone so much you are willing to sit by their bedside hour after hour, just to be near them.  To know they are safe for the moment and realize your smile will be the first thing they see when they open their eyes. The smile that graces their lips, at that moment, makes it all worthwhile.

Every time I help him stand or gain his balance, brings us closer together. In 2009, Barry was there for me. Telling me the same things about recovery and helping with anything and everything I needed. Sitting at my bedside, unsure of the future. He could have walked away and he did not. He stuck by my side because he loves me. Experiences we have shared, have only brought us closer together.

This definitely was not part of our retirement plan, but we are making the most out of what time God has blessed us with. Presently, we maybe be part couch potato, but we have plans.

Accommodation is a big part of our plans. The health issues we are dealing with, require us to make changes to our original plans. Just by chance, my handsome hubby is handling change better. A trip to a beautiful, sandy beach needs to be researched for handicapped accessibility. As we make travel plans, we learn something new with every call.

Watching the strong get weaker one day at a time!

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This is turning into the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My sweet hubby is the strongest person I know on this earth and watching him grow weaker and weaker is killing me. My heart breaks a little more everyday.

I go through the scenarios about this illness and they do not help. Yes he can improve. I am well awarebof that! I just do not enjoy watching him feel so bad.

He is so weak, he can’t walk to the bathroom without getting short of breath. His legs and abdomen are so swollen you can hardly recognize him. He says he doesn’t hurt, but is just uncomfortable.

I have no doubt he is saved and going to heaven. That is not what my tears are for. My tears come from watching what this disease is doing to his body. I know the Good Lord has a plan and is watching over my sweeatheart. He is by my side as I take care of Barry.

If this procedure is what Bear needs to make him better, I pray that his kidney levels have improved and they can schefule it as soon as possible. If not, please give Bear the strength to accept the fact that they have to go into his chest s third time. He is scared and I cannot bkame him. The doctors have repeatedly told him all about the risk. It scares him to hear about it. It scares me too.

I feel like Barry is taking me through a trip down memory lane. We spent the weekend in his hometown. We took a million pictures of special places where he spent his childhood.  Is he trying to tell me something?